SHIFT Talking™ | Podcast en RSS.com

SHIFT Talking™

por Davina Hehn

Salud mental Relaciones

Temporada 2

Welcome to SHIFT Talking

Season 2 is here! And it's not all theory but it is all truth. I didn't get into anger work because I had it figured out. I got into it to fix my husband. Spoiler: I was a really big part of the problem too. We were drowning: reactive, defensive, resentful, barely holding it together, and we nearly didn't make it. It was in the darkest stretch of our marriage that I realized anger wasn't our villain. It was our signal. And if we didn't learn how to understand it, we were going to pass it down. So I studied it. Built frameworks around it. Tested it in my own marriage and my own parenting. Not only did we thrive, my clients have continued to, too. That's how Anger Intelligence™ was born. And this season, we're going deeper than we ever have. We're learning the language of anger: the archetypes, the patterns, the nervous system wiring underneath it all. We're building the literacy most of us were never taught but absolutely should have been. And we're doing it because we are transitional characters. We break cycles. We change what the next generation inherits from us. This isn't about becoming calmer. It's about becoming literate about the emotion that's been trying to protect you all along. Your anger isn't going away. But this season, it becomes your compass. Let's talk some SHIFT. Find out your anger archetype before we dive in. It's free, it's fast, and it'll make every episode land. 👉 Take the Anger Archetype Quiz

71: Guest | “She Kept Me Alive”: A Daughter's Story of Suicide, Secrets, and Healing with Lisa Sugarman

Some secrets protect us. Others keep us from healing. In this profoundly honest episode, I sit down with author, mental health advocate, and suicide loss survivor Lisa Sugarman. Lisa shares how she discovered (35 years later) that her father’s sudden death was actually suicide, a truth her mother kept hidden to protect her 10-year-old heart. We talk about grief, parenting, secrecy, and how Lisa transformed her personal pain into The Help Hub, a free mental health resource center. We also talk about how sharing our stories, even the hardest ones, can literally save lives. This episode is open, emotional, and deeply human. It’s about connection, empathy, and why telling the truth, in the right time and way, can be the beginning of real healing. 🧨 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About: 00:00 – Lisa’s mission: “What’s more powerful than knowing you kept someone here?” 01:27 – Her background in writing, parenting content, and mental health advocacy 02:52 – Losing her father suddenly at 10… and learning the truth decades later 06:06 – Why her mother kept the suicide a secret, and how she found out 10:17 – Rebuilding trust and deepening their mother-daughter relationship 14:48 – Featuring her 86-year-old mom in her next book 16:57 – Advice for anyone feeling betrayed by a family secret 18:23 – Davina shares her own story: her husband's suicide plan and sobriety journey 21:21 – What makes a suicide attempt not about wanting to leave loved ones 25:49 – Challenging shame and silence around suicide and mental illness 30:44 – The dangerous myth that suicide is a “selfish” act 33:48 – Launching The Survivors podcast with an attempt survivor co-host 43:30 – Building The Help Hub as a free, searchable mental health resource 55:25 – How Lisa manages the emotional weight of helping others 1:24:16 – The moment Lisa realized she had truly saved a life 1:28:03 – Her upcoming book on surviving her father’s death… twice 👋 Connect with Lisa Sugarman: 🌐 Website + Help Hub: https://www.thehelphub.co/ 🎧 Podcast: The Survivors 🔗 Ready to SHIFT with Me? ✨ Join SHIFT Live 📞 Book a Clarity Call

70: GUEST | The 4 Emotional Needs Your Kids Need You to Meet with Richard O'Keefe

Most parenting books tell you what to fix. This one tells you why it’s broken. In this deeply grounded episode, I sit down with Richard O’Keefe: father of six, grandfather of 23 (!), great-grandfather of four (!!), and author of 9-1-1: What Is Your Parenting Emergency?. Richard teaches parenting skills to incarcerated fathers through Utah State University and has created a simple, powerful framework based on four core emotional needs every child has. We talk about how unmet emotional needs in childhood often lead to incarceration, addiction, and relational breakdowns in adulthood and what every parent can do now to stop that cycle. This episode is calm, clear, and rich with lived experience. It’s not about shaming or strategy overload, it’s about understanding what makes a child feel whole, and what happens when they don’t. 🧨 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About: 00:00 – The four core emotional needs all children share 03:10 – 15 parenting skills that meet those emotional needs 05:50 – Richard’s breaking point (and the mashed potatoes incident) 08:20 – Why most parenting books overwhelm and overcomplicate 10:40 – Teaching incarcerated fathers how to reconnect with their kids 13:35 – Why most people in prison didn’t have their emotional needs met 16:15 – The power of teaching values (and how it starts at dinner) 20:42 – How traditional masculinity shuts down emotional connection 23:00 – The "fixer" instinct vs. emotional attunement in relationships 27:15 – Parenting as a team (even when co-parenting is complicated) 31:20 – Why his students should be motivational speakers 33:05 – What led Richard to write 9-1-1: What Is Your Parenting Emergency? 35:20 – The iceberg metaphor of behavior and emotional needs 38:00 – What it means to make “positive deposits” with your kids 42:20 – Raising boys into men as a single mother 45:00 – The values his students wish they’d been taught 47:00 – Anger management and the “upstairs/downstairs brain” 50:00 – How Davina’s own parenting moments led to repair and growth 54:00 – Helping dads raise children from behind bars 57:10 – What to do when only one partner wants to do the work 59:30 – Why we weaponize emotional growth in relationships and how to stop 01:02:00 – Unconditional love, earned trust, and realistic expectations 👋 Connect with Richard O’Keefe: 📘 Book: 9-1-1: What Is Your Parenting Emergency? (Available on Amazon) 🔗 Ready to SHIFT with Me? ✨ Join SHIFT Live 📞 Book a Clarity Call

69: GUEST | Your Kids Are Not Your Purpose with Wedeh Guar

You’re not selfish. You’re not broken. And you’re damn sure not failing. You’re just a single mom living in a world that applauds your exhaustion and punishes your boundaries. In this powerful and validating episode, I’m joined by licensed therapist and Solo Shift podcast host Wedeh Guar, a woman who's not only raising kids solo but raising the standard for what thriving can look like after heartbreak, depletion, and identity loss. We talk about co-parenting with inconsistent partners, letting go of who people want you to be, and how to rebuild your sense of self when you're done performing but still showing up for your kids. Wedeh brings the grounded truth, gentle humor, and the kind of "seen and soothed" energy every overwhelmed mom deserves. 🧨 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About: 00:00 – Parenting through emotional fatigue 04:23 – Redefining what “good mom” even means 08:15 – Letting go of external validation + role performance 12:40 – What happens when the co-parent is inconsistent, absent, or unavailable 19:01 – The grief and guilt of needing space from your child 22:18 – Co-parenting with a ghost (or a situationship) 26:07 – How healing often triggers the people who benefit from your burnout 31:55 – “You get to be petty and peaceful.” 36:14 – How delulu phases sometimes save single moms 40:29 – Owning your parenting wins without needing applause 45:02 – Parenting through loneliness and longing 49:35 – What to do when your kids reflect the pain you’re still holding 54:50 – Reclaiming identity beyond “Mom” 58:10 – Wedeh’s message for moms who feel like they’re drowning 👋 Connect with Wedeh: Instagram: @thesoloshiftpodcast Podcast: The Solo Shift Podcast Email: thesoloshiftpodcast@gmail.com 🔗 Ready to SHIFT with Me? 🔥 Join SHIFT Live 📞 Book a Clarity Call

68: GUEST | The Masculinity Lie That Almost Killed Him with Kevin Palmieri

He thought money would fix it. It didn’t. In this open-hearted and deeply honest episode, I sit down with Kevin Palmieri, co-founder and CFO of Next Level University, to unpack the silent suffering so many men carry, and the identity death it takes to finally come alive. They talk about everything men are rarely allowed to say out loud: Rock bottom moments and intrusive thoughts Rage masked as self-reliance Identity wrapped up in performance The loneliness of male friendship, Rebuilding after feeling worthless …plus Kevin walks through the SHIFT Framework™, sharing how men can rebuild their sense of self, heal without shame, and start showing up with integrity AND without losing their edge. This one’s for every man who wants more, and everyone who loves one. 🔍 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About: 00:00 – Meet Kevin 02:15 – Why success didn’t feel like success 04:30 – The cost of achievement without alignment 06:40 – The podcast that saved his life: Hyperconscious to NLU 08:20 – What led him to the edge—and the moment he called for help 10:15 – Meeting Alan, building trust, and why men need safe male friends 13:00 – Loneliness in male friend groups, locker room talk, and internal conflict 15:30 – How father wounds shape emotional safety 18:10 – Why men don’t go first and why they need to 20:00 – Discomfort with being different (and learning to own it) 22:40 – The danger of over-identifying with pain as power 25:10 – Meeting his father at 27—and releasing the villain story 28:00 – Why savior energy is unsustainable (and how to tell it’s showing up) 30:40 – Letting people down without betraying yourself 33:10 – Why “being your own boss” doesn’t always mean flexibility 35:20 – The SHIFT Framework: Kevin breaks it down for men 45:00 – Why emotional growth isn’t sexy but it’s essential 47:10 – How Kevin and Alan coach men through meaning, purpose & identity 49:00 – Final message: nobody else will believe in you until you do 🧠 Connect with Kevin Palmieri + Next Level University 🎙 Next Level University Podcast – new episodes daily 🌍 Website – Coaching, free courses, book club, & community 📱 Instagram – @neverquitkid 👥 Free Facebook group: Next Level Nation 📖 Free monthly virtual events + book club 💥 Ready to Build a Life That Doesn’t Break You? Explore the SHIFT Framework™ with me and reclaim your self, your relationships, and your sense of steady. 🔥 Join SHIFT Live 📞 Book a Clarity Call

67: GUEST | What No One Told You About Sex, Self-Care & Perimenopause with Amita Sharma

You don’t just wake up one day in menopause. You’ve been in the transition for years and no one warned you. In this eye-opening, stigma-breaking episode, I'm joined by Amita Sharma, founder of NourishDoc and creator of an affordable, expert-led perimenopause self-care app. Together, we tackle the silence and shame around women’s hormonal health, intimacy, and identity through the wild ride of perimenopause, libido shifts, and the evolving landscape of relationships. If you’ve been feeling “off,” disconnected from your body or partner, or simply unsure what the hell is happening to your hormones, this conversation is a goldmine. 🧠 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About: 00:00 – Amita’s mission to support women from 35–65 holistically 01:40 – Why perimenopause is still so stigmatized (and misunderstood) 03:10 – Early signs to watch for in your cycle before menopause hits 05:45 – How perimenopause affects sleep, memory, libido & mood 07:30 – Davina’s story: PMDD, tracking, and when things got scary 10:15 – Dutch tests, deficiencies & the power of functional medicine 12:50 – Hormonal shifts and the impact on sexual desire & pain 14:20 – When your partner thinks you “just need lube”—and why that misses the mark 16:30 – What men don’t understand about intimacy, and how to change that 18:40 – The orgasm gap, female pleasure, and cultural double standards 21:00 – Sex after kids: why women often shut down—and how to talk about it 23:10 – The rising rate of “gray divorce” and what’s behind it 25:15 – Why sex becomes the scapegoat for everything else in marriage 28:00 – Women’s emotional needs vs men’s physical cues 30:00 – What real partnership looks like: safety, care, and emotional attunement 32:40 – Male depression, emotional suppression, and performative intimacy 34:15 – How men should not bring up hormones with their partners 36:30 – Better scripts for initiating conversations about sex and health 38:00 – Should you supplement hormones? What to know before choosing HRT 40:45 – The economic barrier: BHRT, insurance, and long-term costs 42:30 – NourishDoc app: expert-backed, $5/month menopause education & care 44:00 – Amita’s final message: take charge of your health, before it takes charge of you 💡 Connect with Amita Sharma + NourishDoc 🌐 Website – nourishdoc.com ✨ Want to Talk About It (Finally)? Join the SHIFT™ community of emotionally intelligent adults who are done suffering in silence. 🔥 Join SHIFT Live 📞 Book a Clarity Call

66: GUEST | Stop Waiting to Be Chosen with Fanny Tristan

Being single isn’t a waiting room. It’s the classroom. The mirror. The runway. The f*cking launchpad. In this richly layered episode, I'm joined by Fanny Tristan, trauma-informed LCSW turned coach and founder of Her Soul Supply, to unpack the emotional gymnastics so many women perform in the pursuit of being chosen by a partner, by their family, by society. We talk love, loneliness, lifestyle design, and what happens when women stop outsourcing worth and start reclaiming their voice. From navigating breakups and identity shifts to dismantling systems that tell women they’re “too much” or “too late,” this conversation is a full-body permission slip to rewrite your story on your terms. If you’ve ever felt behind, unworthy, or like you needed to shrink to fit the timeline... this episode is for you. 🔍 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About: 00:01 – Meet Fanny 04:10 – The loneliness epidemic post-2020 + rebuilding real community 07:50 – Brunch, boundaries, and the awkwardness of adult friendships 10:35 – The myth of “having it all” by 30 and how timelines betray us 13:00 – How systemic oppression shapes self-worth for women of color 15:45 – Building identity outside of partnership and parenthood 21:00 – Singlehood as a goldmine for growth, not a failure to fix 27:15 – Parts work, projection, and how we misread each other 30:00 – The mom-friend vs single-friend divide: how we lose each other 33:00 – Letting people love all your identities—and asking for what you need 36:15 – The rebellion vs self-preservation dilemma (hello, plastic surgery guilt) 39:40 – Pleasure, sex, and the myth that motherhood = martyrdom 42:10 – Why we pedestal romantic love—and what that costs us 46:00 – Self-abandonment, chosen-ness, and not lowering your damn standards 50:20 – The SHIFT framework in action for single women feeling “behind” 58:15 – Walking the walk vs memorizing the infographics 60:30 – Transformation doesn’t have to be a whole damn identity shift 63:00 – Therapy vs Coaching: where they overlap and where they divide 67:00 – Fanny’s final message: freedom is a value, not a milestone 🧠 Connect with Fanny Tristan + Her Soul Supply 🌐 Her Soul Supply Website 📲 Instagram — @fanny.tristan 💥 Want to Build a Life That’s Not Waiting on Anyone? Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, SHIFT is here to help you stop performing and start aligning. 🔥 Join SHIFT Live 📞 Book a Clarity Call

65: GUEST | Why Your Kid Can’t Handle Hard Things with Leroy Slanzi

Grades aren't the problem. Emotional illiteracy is. In this bold and expansive episode, Davina sits down with Leroy Slanzi, Canadian principal and founder of Emotional Schools, to unpack what’s really going on in classrooms (and homes) today. From emotional regulation in 5-year-olds to burnout in school leaders, this episode is a masterclass in behavior, boundaries, and the education revolution nobody's talking about loud enough. Leroy brings 25 years of experience and no-bullshit clarity to this conversation about emotional intelligence, cultural pushback, and practical solutions for parents and educators. If you’ve ever wondered why your kid melts down over math or why your school's still obsessed with standardized tests, this one’s for you. 🔍 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About: 00:01 – Introducing Leroy + the mission behind Emotional Schools 02:20 – Why school leaders resist emotional intelligence integration 04:10 – Helicopter parenting, fear-driven admin, and cultural barriers 11:00 – Teaching 5-year-olds about polyvagal theory (!?) 14:05 – The calming space model: not your typical principal’s office 16:30 – Indigenous education, land-based learning, and the medicine wheel 21:20 – Boredom, play, and the emotional consequences of disconnection 23:30 – What happens when emotionally intelligent kids go home to emotionally unavailable adults 27:00 – The collapse of speech development + rise in reactivity 30:40 – The myth that emotions have no place in academic rigor 37:15 – Why superintendents resist culture change 39:45 – How to spark intrinsic motivation in your child 42:00 – Raising emotionally intelligent kids without the tech trap 51:15 – How to support kids with low frustration tolerance 53:00 – Why mistakes are the best teachers 56:00 – Davina & Leroy reflect on parenting regret and repair 60:00 – Davina’s theory on being wired as a parent vs partner 63:00 – A reality check on what teachers really go through 65:00 – How to bring emotional intelligence to your school, district, or home 66:00 – Where to find Leroy and Emotional Schools 🧠 Connect with Leroy 🌐 Website – Programs, consulting, and free resources 📲 LinkedIn – Follow Leroy’s work 📧 Email: info@emotionalschools.com 💥 Want Your Kids to Be Emotionally Intelligent? Start with you. A Steady Space exists to equip parents not to parent “perfectly,” but to parent from a place of regulation, resilience, and repair. 🚀 Ready to SHIFT? Join SHIFT Live Book a Clarity Call Follow along on IG/TikTok → @asteadyspace

64: GUEST | Always Misunderstood? The 4 Zones of Communication with Lynn Quinn

Ever feel like you’re speaking English, but your partner hears Martian? You’re not alone. This week on SHIFT Talking, I sat down with Lynn Quinn, author, cognitive architect, and creator of the Four Zones of Communication framework. We dug into why most of us live on autopilot, how our words betray our real meaning, and the simple shift that can move you out of miscommunication loops and into authentic connection. Lynn’s work is blunt, practical, and surprisingly soulful. From conflict at home to chaos in crowded households (👋 nine humans under one roof over here), this episode gives you a map for knowing which “zone” you’re in and how to get yourself back into grounded communication before things explode. ⏱️ In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About: 02:00 – The 4 Zones of Communication: Pink, Yellow, Higher, Halt 07:20 – How “yellow zone” people-pleasing leads to resentment 09:45 – The Halt Zone: anger, walls punched, and primal explosions 14:30 – Signs you’re slipping into autopilot vs. staying grounded 19:00 – Reflection writing and the magic of daily introspection 26:00 – Apple, orange, banana: why your words don’t land how you think 33:30 – The power of pausing for clarity in conversations 38:00 – Boundaries, family dynamics, and expectation management 45:05 – Objections: “Isn’t this too woo woo?” → reframing as consciousness 56:30 – Why speaking from “I” isn’t arrogant—it’s the most humble stance 1:03:00 – Giving yourself grace when introspection feels icky 1:12:30 – Consciousness, intuition, and moving beyond autopilot 1:26:00 – Parenting, creativity, and breaking blocks that keep us shackled 1:37:30 – Owning mistakes publicly as the ultimate act of loyalty to yourself 📲 Connect with Lynn Quinn Book: Home with Humans: Adventures in Reflection Writing Website: zoalq.com (Zones of Atlas) Substack: Zones of Atlas by Lynn Quinn Newsletter: occasional deep dives + reflection prompts 🚀 Ready to SHIFT? Join The Parental SHIFT → Learn More Book a Clarity Call → Work with Me Follow along on IG/TikTok → @asteadyspace Don’t miss the next episode of SHIFT Talking 🎙️

63: GUEST | Stuck in Shame, Guilt, or Anxiety? How to Raise Your Consciousness with Kerie Logan

What if healing wasn’t about fixing, but about raising your consciousness? This week on SHIFT Talking, I sat down with Keri Logan, clinical hypnotherapist, author, and creator of Master the Upper Rooms. Keri has spent decades helping people release trauma, forgive the unforgivable, and step into higher states of consciousness where shame, guilt, and fear no longer run the show. We went deep into human consciousness, forgiveness, parenting wounds, manifestation, past-life imprints, and why “woo woo” work is often just the language we don’t yet understand. Whether you’re skeptical (like I used to be) or fully open to spiritual frameworks, this episode will stretch you, ground you, and maybe even crack something open. ⏱️ In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About: 00:40 – Keri’s story of trauma, forgiveness, and liberation 04:50 – Human consciousness 101: 3D, 4D, and 5D explained 07:10 – How our environments, families, and culture shape us—and how to clear the garbage 12:40 – Using charts and tools to identify where you’re operating emotionally 17:20 – The power of Ho‘oponopono and forgiveness rituals 22:00 – Why walking away isn’t losing—it’s preservation 26:00 – Conditional love vs. unconditional love in relationships 31:30 – Hypnotherapy, subconscious programming, and breaking habits 38:00 – Manifestation from ego vs. heart desire 43:15 – Rewiring self-talk and catching negative loops 48:20 – Raising kids without projecting our wounds 52:50 – Rules for Being Human: lessons we all signed up for 57:30 – Toxic family dynamics, compassion, and choosing boundaries 1:04:00 – Past-life regression stories and unresolved imprints 1:13:20 – Parenting, shame, and breaking cycles for our kids 1:20:00 – Practical tools for identifying your state of consciousness 1:27:00 – Live and let live: healing without needing to convince others 📲 Connect with Keri Logan Website: Master the Upper Rooms Empowered Within (MP3 Library): empoweredwithin.com YouTube: Keri Logan’s Channel Insight Timer App: Search “Keri Logan” for free meditations 🚀 Ready to SHIFT? Join SHIFT Live → Learn More Book a Clarity Call → Work with Me Follow along on IG/TikTok → @asteadyspace

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