What kind of things should you remake? A delicious pie after it's been fouled by a libidinous high schooler? Yes, says I! But what about if that second pie, equally as scrumptious and now just as cum-ptious due to that same horny fellow? Maybe once more, I suppose, but don't leave it cooling by the sill, for heaven's sake! Anyway, this is all a deviously complicated metaphor drawing from the popular method of masturbation used by one Jason Biggs in the popular teen comedy American Pie, a film that has never actuallly been remade in the traditional sense, while other films of more apparent integrity have ironically been repackaged, microwaved and served up as a brand spanking new pastry dishes, though now much staler and with suspiciously viscous fillings. This is what we call remake culture in Hollywood, and if it doesn't make you feel queasy, th ...