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The Variety Show (with Tom and Rob)

The Variety Show (with Tom and Rob)

by Studio:Channel84

Season 4

It Wasn't Moby

It wasn’t Moby. That much we can tell you. Episode 86 begins with Tom and Rob discussing the show’s new searchable name, audio experiments and whether a broken Dell laptop can be fixed by punching it. Naturally, this leads to neighbour disputes, hosepipe bans, major water leaks and sewage-filled rivers. Nice and cheerful, then. Next, familiar songs are stripped of their melody, rhythm and dignity in Guess the Song from the Speed-Read Lyrics. Inspired partly by William Shatner’s unique approach to music, Rob must identify well-known tracks from a completely monotonous reading. Play along and see if you fare any better. Snack Sack returns with crispy chicken skin, Aldi vindaloo-flavoured crunchy sticks and onion bhaji-flavoured rings. Expect pet-shop aromas, questionable textures, curry debates and a surprisingly detailed discussion about what makes the perfect chipstick. No scores spoiled here. Finally, Was It Best Left in the 90s? It’s a battle of massive power ballads, movie soundtracks and musical nostalgia—but only one can survive. Rude. Fun. Unfiltered. It’s The Variety Show with Tom and Rob. Pictures can be found here plus results from other episodes: https://thevarietyshow.co.uk/episode/s4e86 #TheVarietyShow #UKComedyPodcast #MusicQuiz #SnackReview #90sMusic

Episode 85 - The Summer Crime Walkabout

What happens when you mix a true crime documentary, a walking tour, local history and two middle-aged idiots who can’t stay on topic? You get The Summer Crime Walkabout. For this special episode of The Variety Show from Studio:Channel84, Rob and Tom head out into the streets of St Albans to investigate five notorious crimes connected to the city. At every location, a professionally narrated story reveals a shocking murder, an infamous criminal or an unsolved mystery. There’s just one catch: one of the stories is completely fake. Can you work it out before Rob does? The walk takes in St Albans Hospital, St Peter Street, London Road Station, Sopwell Allotments and St Albans Cathedral, exploring the disturbing story of poisoner Graham Young, the failed IRA bombing that nearly became one of Britain’s worst terrorist attacks, historic murders, cold cases and eerie local legends that have survived for generations. Alongside the crime stories you’ll also hear Rob and Tom’s memories of growing up in Hertfordshire, childhood adventures, beer festivals, haunted cathedrals, ghost stories, embarrassing hospital experiences and the sort of conversations that could only happen on The Variety Show. Then, because podcast listeners deserve a little something extra, the episode continues after the video ends with an exclusive bonus section. There’s another edition of the Taste Test, featuring Fanta Dark Cherry, Mountain Dew Dragon Fruit and Pepsi Refresh Shot, complete with completely unnecessary scoring, arguments about fizzy drinks and whether modern Pepsi still tastes like it used to. Finally, the conversation turns unexpectedly creepy as the dads discuss children seeing ghosts, unexplained encounters, haunted manor houses, imaginary friends, unsettling things kids say and whether there might actually be something to those spooky stories after all. Whether you’re here for true crime, British history, St Albans, unsolved mysteries, urban legends, ghost stories, food and drink reviews, parenting chat, or just Rob and Tom making each other laugh, this episode has a bit of everything. #TrueCrime #StAlbans #BritishHistory #GhostStories #TheVarietyShow

We Tried Recreating Movie Themes With Melody Pops

The Variety Show Podcast returns with one of our most ridiculous episodes yet as Rob and Tom tackle everything from podcast SEO frustrations to Melody Pops musical disasters. We kick things off with a rant about another podcast using a confusingly similar name, why discoverability matters, and the realities of building an independent podcast in 2026. Then Tom shares his spoiler-free thoughts on Supergirl, why social media reviews can’t always be trusted, and why sometimes you simply have to make your own mind up. The return of Guess The Link puts Rob to the test with five seemingly unrelated questions. Can you work out the connection before he does? Next comes one of our favourite listener challenges yet. The Chipmunk and Beaver have challenged us to become Foley artists, recreating everything from a whale underwater and a heartbeat through a stethoscope to train tracks, warp drive and even… a fart in space. Then everything descends into complete chaos. Armed with classic Chupa Chups Melody Pops, we attempt to recreate famous movie and TV theme tunes using nothing but whistle-shaped lollipops. Expect Indiana Jones, Ghostbusters, classic television themes, plenty of laughter, and two grown men questioning every life decision that brought them to this moment. Finally, Was It Best Left In The 90s? returns with a battle between Cartoons’ Witch Doctor and Hanson’s MMMBop. Which deserves another chance, and which should stay firmly in the decade that created it? If you enjoy comedy podcasts, movie discussions, nostalgic games, quizzes, pop culture debates, ridiculous challenges and two mates making each other laugh, this episode is packed with exactly that. #ComedyPodcast #MoviePodcast #GuessTheLink #MelodyPops #90sNostalgia

Why Is There A Giant Knife In The Daycare?

The Variety Show is back and this episode somehow manages to cover football, children’s TV, floppy disks and fake hazelnuts in the same conversation. Rob and Tom kick things off by trying to work out why the World Cup feels strangely invisible this year. Where are the flags, the mascots, the wall-to-wall coverage and the endless football hype? Is it just us, or does this tournament feel different? Things quickly descend into chaos when a seemingly innocent Peppa Pig football story turns into a full-scale investigation into cheating, questionable refereeing decisions and what exactly we’re teaching children about winning and losing. Then it’s time for one of the strangest things we’ve ever reviewed on the show: a classic Tweenies knife safety special. What starts as a well-meaning children’s safety video rapidly becomes a running commentary on daycare procedures, safeguarding concerns and why there appears to be a giant knife sitting in the middle of a nursery kitchen. The Snack Sack returns with Aldi Delta Strips, a Hazelnut Twix that raises more questions than answers, and Australian Cadbury Dream white chocolate. Which snack impressed us, which one disappointed us, and why are companies obsessed with putting hazelnut flavour into everything? Another round of “Do You Remember?” featuring a nostalgic trip back to the days of neon floppy disks, school computer rooms and transferring files one disk at a time. Finally, a return to “Was It Best Left In The 90s?” featuring two very different chart hits battling for survival. It’s another completely normal episode of The Variety Show. Which is to say, not normal at all. #PeppaPig #Tweenies #WorldCup #SnackSack #90sNostalgia

We Have Seen The Chipmunk’s Beaver

Tom and Rob are back for Episode 82 and, after the emotional ADHD special, normal service has resumed. This week the lads dive headfirst into the wonderful chaos that is Eurovision. Was Sam Ryder robbed? Is the voting system completely broken? Should countries stop awarding points to each other and leave the whole thing to the public? And how did the UK’s entry become annoyingly catchy despite every instinct telling them it shouldn’t? They also reveal plans for a very special upcoming Episode 85. A mystery walk around St Albans featuring five locations, five stories and one lie. With contributions from friends of the show including Karen, Adam, Simon, John and Drew Lusion, it’s shaping up to be one of the most ambitious things Studio:Channel84 has attempted. The Chipmunk and Beaver return with another round of Badly Described Movies, sending Tom and Rob down increasingly ridiculous rabbit holes as they attempt to identify famous films from clues that are either brilliantly clever or downright cruel. Meanwhile, the Snack Sack is packed once again. This episode features a pistachio-filled chocolate bar that feels suspiciously familiar, a cookie dough experiment that raises more questions than answers, and a new flavour of Walkers crisps that sparks an unexpectedly passionate debate about gravy. There’s also discussion of TFL strike misery, Christmas decorations appearing far too early, questionable Eurovision ambitions, parenting realities, and a heated edition of Best Left In The 90s as two iconic 90s songs go head-to-head with only one surviving the trip back to the present day. As always, expect pop culture, nostalgia, food reviews, terrible opinions, accidental filth, and two middle-aged dads somehow ending up talking about beavers for far longer than anyone intended. Find out more about all the shows at https://channel84.co.uk. #Eurovision #SnackSack #90sMusic #ComedyPodcast #MovieQuiz

Why ADHD Isn’t A Superpower

This week’s episode of The Variety Show from Studio:Channel84 is a little different. No usual chaos. No Rob. No ridiculous debates (well… mostly). Just Tom, out on a late-night walk, talking honestly about something that’s shaped far more of life than he ever realised: ADHD. After being diagnosed with adult ADHD at 42, Tom opens up about what the process actually looked like — from NHS Right to Choose referrals, therapy, and diagnosis, to trying ADHD medication including methylphenidate, lisdexamfetamine and atomoxetine. But this isn’t a medical guide. It’s the messy, personal reality of what happens when you finally start understanding why your brain works the way it does. From doomscrolling and low mood, to self-esteem, procrastination, rejection sensitivity, masking, overthinking and the constant mental noise that never really switches off, this is an honest conversation about the bits of ADHD and depression that people don’t always talk about — especially in adults. Tom also gets candid about struggling this week, the reality of feeling burnt out, why “ADHD is a superpower” doesn’t sit right with everyone, and what happens when medication side effects hit harder than expected. It’s not the usual Variety Show energy — but if you’ve ever wondered what adult ADHD actually feels like, struggled with mental health, or know someone going through diagnosis later in life, maybe this one will resonate. There is still a tiny bit of normality, though… because no episode would be complete without a questionable taste test, this time involving Sprite Zero Mint, mojito comparisons, toothpaste vibes and immediate regret. Normal chaos resumes next episode. #ADHD #AdultADHD #MentalHealth #ADHDMedication #Depression

Say words, Eddie Vedder

Barclays tech support apparently runs on spreadsheets. Pearl Jam may or may not be speaking English. One child becomes emotionally invested in the tragic fate of fictional people who “didn’t want to die.” Just another normal week on The Variety Show. This episode spirals through customer service rage, impossible-to-understand song lyrics, and one of the strangest debates we’ve had yet: if X-Men mutations are real, did we all get the absolute worst powers? Ear rumbling, eyebrow lifting and nostril flaring are apparently not enough to save humanity. We dive back into another round of illegible lyrics featuring songs you definitely know… but probably never understood. Expect heated opinions, terrible guesses and a growing concern that some legendary singers may simply refuse to pronounce words properly. Snack Sack returns with sweet treats, imported oddities and a salt & vinegar experience that may qualify as a minor chemical incident. There are wins, disasters and at least one snack that should probably apologise for existing. We also revisit peak nostalgia with a challenge built around classic TV memories, weirdly specific childhood viewing habits and the kind of programming schedule that absolutely shaped an entire generation. Plus: a musical showdown where one iconic 90s anthem faces total destruction while another fights for survival. Elsewhere, there’s parenting chaos, bizarre kids’ playlists, questionable spam emails, nostalgia-fuelled nonsense, and the usual amount of rude, fun, unfiltered stupidity from Rob & Tom. New episodes every other Monday from The Variety Show at Studio:Channel84. #PearlJam #CottonEyeJoe #SnackReview #90sNostalgia #RobotWars

Spice Girls vs Bono: One Must Die

Episode 79 of The Variety Show from Studio:Channel84 is what happens when nostalgia, snacks, and absolute nonsense collide. The long-running cap gun saga finally gets its “satisfactory ending” — involving a suspiciously realistic cheap plastic gun, Russian/Ukrainian caps, and the discovery that modern versions are somehow louder, smokier, and more likely to explode the toy itself. Along the way, Rob and Tom question safety warnings, childhood chaos, and whether anyone actually followed the rules in the 90s. From there, things take a hard turn into music — specifically Peter Gabriel. From the brilliance of Sledgehammer and Solsbury Hill to the baffling lyrics of The Book of Love, the debate quickly becomes: how did we get here? Then it’s time for the Snack Sack — featuring Korean Pepero sticks, a bizarre chocolate “Cornetto” knock-off with unexpected flavours, and an aggressively sweet strawberry goo snack that nearly ends the episode via sugar overload. Ratings are handed out, regrets are shared, and sleep is officially cancelled. The chaos continues with a brand new game segment built around links. The main event? The Shopping Centre Challenge. Rob and Tom build their dream shopping centres using A–Z shops — from Blockbuster, Woolworths and Toys R Us to Greggs, Nando’s and Safeway. It quickly spirals into nostalgia, arguments, and the harsh reality that one of these fictional shopping centres would absolutely go bankrupt. Finally, in Was It Best Left in the 90s?, two 1997 charity songs go head-to-head — and only one survives. Spoiler: Bono never stood a chance. It’s rude, chaotic, nostalgic, and exactly what you expect. #nostalgia #90s #snacks #shopping #music

The Snack Sack Disaster: Chocolate Chicken

This week on The Variety Show from Studio:Channel84, things start weird and somehow get even stranger. The episode opens with an unexpected Peppa Pig monologue that turns into a full-blown character assassination of Daddy Pig, Peppa, and the entire family dynamic. It’s not the Peppa Pig take you were expecting. From there the chaos continues with The Chipmunk Challenge, introducing a brand new game called Mouth Trap. The rules sound simple: explain a word without using the obvious clues. In reality it quickly turns into a frantic guessing game involving Minecraft, Mario, Alien, spaghetti, and classic playground games. Tom and Rob attempt to beat the Chipmunk at her own game — with varying levels of competence. Then comes the Snack Sack, and this might be one of the strangest taste tests we’ve ever done. First up are two imported drinks: a jasmine peach soda that tastes suspiciously medicinal, followed by a Chinese lime soda that somehow becomes one of the best drinks ever tried on the show, earning an instant perfect score. But the real disaster arrives with a snack called Crispy Cluck — a chocolate treat designed to look like fried chicken. It sounds ridiculous. It looks ridiculous. And once opened… it somehow manages to be even worse than expected. As if that wasn’t enough, the conversation veers into 90s music nostalgia, with Jive Bunny’s rock-and-roll mega mix battling Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic” for survival. Along the way, a revelation about The Beautiful South’s “Don’t Marry Her” proves the radio version most people grew up hearing isn’t actually the real lyric. Also featuring: cap gun nostalgia, Apple Watch sleep scores that make no sense, spam emails that refuse to stop arriving, and the ongoing mystery of why our podcast seems to be blocked in Russia. It’s rude, chaotic, nostalgic and completely unfiltered — exactly how The Variety Show likes it. E-mail: podcasts@channel84.co.uk (Both hosts) tj@thevarietyshow.co.uk (TJ) rob@untitledscifishow.co.uk (Rob) Main Site: https:.//channel84.co.uk #PeppaPig #AlanisMorissette #90sMusic #SnackTasteTest #BeautifulSouth

Misheard Lyrics & Dangerous Childhoods

In this episode of The Variety Show, Rob and Tom dive head-first into the chaos of misheard song lyrics, questionable 90s nostalgia, and the kind of dangerous childhood experiments that would absolutely get you arrested today. It starts with a nostalgic trip down memory lane with cap bombs — those plastic missile-shaped toys loaded with paper caps that produced a satisfyingly loud bang and that unforgettable sulphur smell. Of course, that innocent nostalgia quickly escalates into stories of childhood creativity involving firecrackers from France, homemade explosive experiments, and a mysterious series of exploding dog bins in St Albans. Then the show takes a turn into one of the strangest corners of pop culture: lyrics that nobody can actually understand. Rob challenges Tom with a quiz featuring songs from Blur, Green Day, Nirvana, System of a Down, Gorillaz, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Barenaked Ladies, proving that half the music we’ve sung along to for decades might as well be complete gibberish unless you’ve read the lyrics sheet. Naturally, this leads to a rant about the internet’s obsession with fake “misheard lyrics” like “we built this city on sausage rolls” — because apparently the internet thinks everyone hears songs about processed meat. There’s also a chaotic Snack Sack segment featuring a bizarre giant peelable mango gummy, suspicious Galaxy Flutes, and surprisingly brilliant maple bacon waffle crisps from Aldi. One snack scores a rare top rating… another absolutely does not. Elsewhere, the episode veers into classic 90s pop culture, including Billy Piper’s early pop career, the tragedy of animated classics like The Land Before Time, and the discovery of a genuinely disturbing banned Tweenies episode parodying Jimmy Savile. It’s nostalgic, slightly unhinged, occasionally educational, and proof that the 90s were a much less supervised time to grow up. New episodes of The Variety Show drop every two weeks from Studio:Channel84. #MisheardLyrics #90sMusic #90sNostalgia #RetroToys #SnackReview

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