The Variety Show (with Tom and Rob)

The Variety Show (with Tom and Rob)

by Studio:Channel84

Season 4

Before Smartphones, We Read Toilet Duck

Welcome back to The Variety Show, where Tom and Rob are asking the important questions in life. How do you get out of paying a restaurant bill? Are social media influencers becoming unbearable? And can you identify a classic video game from nothing more than its sound effects? Having survived Blackpool, the pair return with another helping of questionable opinions, retro nostalgia, ridiculous conversations and the sort of arguments that really shouldn’t require this much thought. Question Time (but definitely not the BBC version) kicks things off with a restaurant bill dilemma and listener questions. As usual, what should be a straightforward discussion takes a few unexpected turns. Then it’s time for Do You Remember?, the nostalgia game where Tom and Rob attempt to drag forgotten memories back into the daylight. Expect a trip through the sort of things you haven’t thought about for years, alongside the usual arguments about what counts as a proper memory. There’s also a rant about modern influencers, the joys of wandering around St Albans with a camera, and Tom’s plans for a new YouTube series called Lunch Break. Because apparently having several podcasts isn’t enough to keep him occupied. The Snack Test returns, and this time the humble Jaffa Cake gets dragged into the world of digestive biscuits. Is combining two British biscuit favourites a stroke of genius, or have we created something that doesn’t quite satisfy either craving? Tom and Rob put their taste buds to work and deliver their usual unnecessarily specific verdicts. For the main quiz, it’s Guess the Video Game from the Sound Effect. Ten games spanning the late 1980s, early 1990s and 2000s, with Rob challenged to identify each one using only its familiar noises. How much gaming knowledge has survived the decades, and how much has been replaced with completely useless information? And, naturally, there’s more 1990s music nostalgia before the episode wraps up, with some familiar names from the era making an appearance. It’s another episode of The Variety Show from Studio:Channel84. British comedy podcasting with retro gaming, snack reviews, pop culture, nostalgia and two blokes who can turn absolutely anything into a debate. New episodes every other Monday at https://thevarietyshow.co.uk #TheVarietyShow #UKComedyPodcast #RetroGaming #90sNostalgia #Podcast E-mail Us: podcasts@channel84.co.uk (Both) tj@thevarietyshow.co.uk rob@untitledscifishow.co.uk Find out more about the Studio: https://channel84.co.uk

One Pringle or Four? This Is Apparently an Argument

A nostalgic Transformers cinema trip should be straightforward. Book the tickets, watch some robots, explain why everyone needed the toys. Instead, Tom gets a PG-versus-12A headache and a son who’s spotted a useful opening in the ongoing Spider-Man negotiations. In Episode 90 of The Variety Show from Studio:Channel84, Rob and Tom dig into Tom’s experience booking the Transformers 40th anniversary screening through Cineworld, the conflicting age-rating information he found, and the bonus footage they missed because someone needed a wee. Would you complain, leave, or spend the opening minutes frantically checking the BBFC on your phone? Listener questions send the film chat in several directions. Tom wants Pierce Brosnan to have had a shot at Casino Royale, Rob wants six-hour Lord of the Rings films, and Jurassic Park briefly gets a Care Bears makeover. Then there’s the cinema snack debate: McDonald’s at the door, nachos in the auditorium, disappearing ice cream counters and the entirely reasonable ambition to watch a film with a Chinese takeaway. Rob’s car also has opinions, mostly expressed through alarms and unexpected braking. Cue a rant about parking sensors, automatic full beams and touchscreen controls that turn switching on the fan into a small administrative task. Bring back the bloody buttons. In the Snack Sack, three tubes of Pringles face judgement: baked cheese and garlic, Burger King Bacon Double Cheeseburger XL and the Fallout mystery flavour. There’s disagreement over garlic, a surprisingly convincing burger aftertaste, and a separate argument about whether normal people eat one Pringle or a stack. The Fallout verdict? Leave it in the vault. Fancy testing your film knowledge? Play along with eight rounds of a five-clue movie quiz featuring IMDb ratings, release years and some baffling five-out-of-ten reviews. Apparently, a film can make you laugh, cry and punch the air while still being aggressively average. Finally, the 90s music showdown pits Guns N’ Roses’ November Rain against Westlife’s I Have a Dream. First, though, Rob and Tom need a word about a greatest rock songs list featuring Britney Spears, TLC and Dr. Dre. Movies, music, snack reviews, parenting and everyday irritations. New episodes every other Monday. #TheVarietyShow #StudioChannel84 #UKComedyPodcast #MovieQuiz #Pringles

Microwave Chips, Movie Swearing and a Weaponised Fart

Episode 89 begins with a simple question: what happens when tap to pay stops working and you’ve left your wallet at home? After a £99.98 Lidl close call, Tom takes aim at Sky Mobile’s Roy Keane advert, Rob reveals that he had no idea who Roy Keane was, and the pair establish that repeatedly smashing a phone against a card reader is not a convincing demonstration of modern technology. Then it’s time to decide how much swearing belongs in a PG film. Inspired by Star Trek IV, Coyote vs Acme and the BBFC’s wonderfully vague definition of “mild bad language”, Tom and Rob work through the acceptable uses of bloody, bugger, piss, bitch and several other words you probably weren’t expecting to hear during a discussion about children’s films. Gaming brings the arrival of Nintendo’s new Zelda remake, a rare pre-order from Tom, an Ocarina pin badge and another furious encounter with online scalpers. With consoles appearing on eBay before anyone has received them, the proposed solution involves Nintendo accounts, activation restrictions and considerably more common sense. The Snack Sack returns with a microwave chip showdown. McCain’s Quick Chips — formerly the far better-named Microchips — face Birds Eye Express Fries. One is soggy yet somehow dry; the other resembles day-old McDonald’s chips and provides an unexpected jaw workout. The salt does most of the work, Fries to Go remain missing, and the air fryer wins by default. There’s also unfinished business from the Foley challenge. Trains, whales and warp-speed spacecraft are recreated using plates, mouths, audio effects and one heavily manipulated fart. Rob misunderstands the assignment, Tom’s wife unknowingly votes for the fart, and dignity quietly leaves the studio. Finally, a movie-franchise quiz makes everyone feel ancient as The Hunger Games, Cars, Shrek, Pokémon, Jurassic Park, Terminator, Alien, Star Trek, James Bond and Quatermass are placed in order. Then Pretty Green Eyes battles Stop the Rock in a sweat-soaked burst of 90s club nostalgia. Main website: www.thevarietyshow.co.uk Studio: www.channel84.co.uk E-mail your questions: tj@thevarietyshow.co.uk #TheVarietyShow #UKComedyPodcast #MoviePodcast #GamingPodcast #90sNostalgia

Amazon, Adverts and 90s Dance Anthems

Rob wins £750 and immediately assumes he's being scammed. Surprisingly, he isn't. Unfortunately, that's where things start going wrong. This week, Rob & Tom return with an Amazon delivery nightmare involving a Nintendo Switch 2, a missing parcel, Evri, endless AI customer-service loops and an A-to-Z refund process that takes two weeks to escape. Eventually, Rob gets his Switch 2 — but not before having to use AI to help him argue with AI. Welcome to the future. Tom, meanwhile, has achieved perhaps his greatest Dad Win yet. A treasured 3D-printed dragon suffers a catastrophic tail injury, and somehow a questionable purchase from the middle aisle of Lidl saves the day. Turns out buying tools you don't need really can pay off eventually. Then we're heading back into classic British TV advertising for a new quiz. Tom plays the original songs behind ten famous advert parodies, while Rob has to work out which products stole the tunes and rewrote the lyrics. Expect forgotten jingles, questionable memories and the disturbing realisation that advertising from thirty years ago is still occupying valuable space in our brains. Finally, Was It Best Left in the Nineties returns with two huge but very different 90s dance tracks fighting for survival. One gets another chance. One gets sent back to the decade it came from. Naturally, Rob and Tom completely disagree, leading to old arguments resurfacing, The Poddington Peas entering proceedings and Pokémon itself ending up on trial. Plus Nintendo nostalgia, microwave chips, Cornetto memories, old-school UK adverts and the usual collection of completely unnecessary tangents. The Variety Show with Tom & Rob from Studio. Rude. Fun. Unfiltered. #TheVarietyShow #90sNostalgia #NintendoSwitch2 #90sMusic #UKPodcast

The One Where the Fire Marshal Started a Fire

This week, The Variety Show is doing things a little differently. Rob and Tom aren't even in the same room, the audio has had a few adventures of its own, and instead of the usual games, taste tests and nostalgia, they're answering five questions designed to reveal far more than anyone really needed to know. What food deserves to be permanently wiped from existence? Which country would we pack our bags for tomorrow? And, from decades of British comedy, which show could we happily sit down and watch again and again? Those fairly innocent questions lead to arguments about offensive condiments, questionable genetics, time travel, retro gaming, dream holidays and an enormous wander through British comedy. Red Dwarf, Fawlty Towers, Dad's Army, The IT Crowd, Bottom, The Young Ones, Shooting Stars, The League of Gentlemen, Friday Night Dinner, Derry Girls and plenty more get dragged into the conversation. Then things get considerably more personal when we ask for the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to us at work. Rob's answer somehow involves a hospital, surgery, a student nurse and an extremely unfortunate interruption. Tom, meanwhile, recalls the day he arrived at a business as the professional responsible for teaching everyone about fire safety. The actual fire brigade subsequently turned up. We'll let you work out how well the training went. Finally, after more than 86 episodes, countless quizzes, questionable snacks, Christmas specials, nostalgia, Melody Pops, murder walks, prison pigeons and all manner of other nonsense, there's one deceptively difficult question left: what's the best thing we've ever done on The Variety Show? For once, things even get a little bit wholesome. Five questions. Two separate recordings. Several stories that probably shouldn't have been told. And one fire marshal who will forever have to live with the fact that the fire brigade turned up to his fire safety course. Pretty standard, really. #TheVarietyShow #UKPodcast #ComedyPodcast #BritishComedy #StudioChannel84 Find out more at the website: https://thevarietyshow.co.uk

It Wasn't Moby

It wasn’t Moby. That much we can tell you. Episode 86 begins with Tom and Rob discussing the show’s new searchable name, audio experiments and whether a broken Dell laptop can be fixed by punching it. Naturally, this leads to neighbour disputes, hosepipe bans, major water leaks and sewage-filled rivers. Nice and cheerful, then. Next, familiar songs are stripped of their melody, rhythm and dignity in Guess the Song from the Speed-Read Lyrics. Inspired partly by William Shatner’s unique approach to music, Rob must identify well-known tracks from a completely monotonous reading. Play along and see if you fare any better. Snack Sack returns with crispy chicken skin, Aldi vindaloo-flavoured crunchy sticks and onion bhaji-flavoured rings. Expect pet-shop aromas, questionable textures, curry debates and a surprisingly detailed discussion about what makes the perfect chipstick. No scores spoiled here. Finally, Was It Best Left in the 90s? It’s a battle of massive power ballads, movie soundtracks and musical nostalgia—but only one can survive. Rude. Fun. Unfiltered. It’s The Variety Show with Tom and Rob. Pictures can be found here plus results from other episodes: https://thevarietyshow.co.uk/episode/s4e86 #TheVarietyShow #UKComedyPodcast #MusicQuiz #SnackReview #90sMusic

The Summer Crime Walkabout

What happens when you mix a true crime documentary, a walking tour, local history and two middle-aged idiots who can’t stay on topic? You get The Summer Crime Walkabout. For this special episode of The Variety Show from Studio:Channel84, Rob and Tom head out into the streets of St Albans to investigate five notorious crimes connected to the city. At every location, a professionally narrated story reveals a shocking murder, an infamous criminal or an unsolved mystery. There’s just one catch: one of the stories is completely fake. Can you work it out before Rob does? The walk takes in St Albans Hospital, St Peter Street, London Road Station, Sopwell Allotments and St Albans Cathedral, exploring the disturbing story of poisoner Graham Young, the failed IRA bombing that nearly became one of Britain’s worst terrorist attacks, historic murders, cold cases and eerie local legends that have survived for generations. Alongside the crime stories you’ll also hear Rob and Tom’s memories of growing up in Hertfordshire, childhood adventures, beer festivals, haunted cathedrals, ghost stories, embarrassing hospital experiences and the sort of conversations that could only happen on The Variety Show. Then, because podcast listeners deserve a little something extra, the episode continues after the video ends with an exclusive bonus section. There’s another edition of the Taste Test, featuring Fanta Dark Cherry, Mountain Dew Dragon Fruit and Pepsi Refresh Shot, complete with completely unnecessary scoring, arguments about fizzy drinks and whether modern Pepsi still tastes like it used to. Finally, the conversation turns unexpectedly creepy as the dads discuss children seeing ghosts, unexplained encounters, haunted manor houses, imaginary friends, unsettling things kids say and whether there might actually be something to those spooky stories after all. Whether you’re here for true crime, British history, St Albans, unsolved mysteries, urban legends, ghost stories, food and drink reviews, parenting chat, or just Rob and Tom making each other laugh, this episode has a bit of everything. #TrueCrime #StAlbans #BritishHistory #GhostStories #TheVarietyShow

Tea Break : Summer Aesthetic

Welcome to Tea Break. These small bonus downloads are the place to find all our random brain farts and other improv moments. Brought to you by our management company, Business Incorporated. This time Tom is looking for his Summer Aesthetic. All recorded on our phones, so sorry for the quality. Find out more about all the shows at https://channel84.co.uk.

We Tried Recreating Movie Themes With Melody Pops

The Variety Show Podcast returns with one of our most ridiculous episodes yet as Rob and Tom tackle everything from podcast SEO frustrations to Melody Pops musical disasters. We kick things off with a rant about another podcast using a confusingly similar name, why discoverability matters, and the realities of building an independent podcast in 2026. Then Tom shares his spoiler-free thoughts on Supergirl, why social media reviews can’t always be trusted, and why sometimes you simply have to make your own mind up. The return of Guess The Link puts Rob to the test with five seemingly unrelated questions. Can you work out the connection before he does? Next comes one of our favourite listener challenges yet. The Chipmunk and Beaver have challenged us to become Foley artists, recreating everything from a whale underwater and a heartbeat through a stethoscope to train tracks, warp drive and even… a fart in space. Then everything descends into complete chaos. Armed with classic Chupa Chups Melody Pops, we attempt to recreate famous movie and TV theme tunes using nothing but whistle-shaped lollipops. Expect Indiana Jones, Ghostbusters, classic television themes, plenty of laughter, and two grown men questioning every life decision that brought them to this moment. Finally, Was It Best Left In The 90s? returns with a battle between Cartoons’ Witch Doctor and Hanson’s MMMBop. Which deserves another chance, and which should stay firmly in the decade that created it? If you enjoy comedy podcasts, movie discussions, nostalgic games, quizzes, pop culture debates, ridiculous challenges and two mates making each other laugh, this episode is packed with exactly that. #ComedyPodcast #MoviePodcast #GuessTheLink #MelodyPops #90sNostalgia

Tea Break : James Gunn’s Supergirl Review | Is Social Media Getting It Wrong?

James Gunn’s Supergirl Review | Is Social Media Getting It Wrong? In this bonus episode of The Variety Show from Studio:Channel84, Tom heads straight from the cinema to give his immediate, spoiler-light thoughts on James Gunn’s Supergirl and asks one big question: have online film reviews become more harmful than helpful? After seeing the latest DC Studios release, Tom shares why he believes Supergirl deserves far more credit than it’s receiving across social media. From the negativity surrounding the casting of Milly Alcock to endless online arguments about Krypto the Superdog, this is an honest, passionate review from someone who simply wants people to make up their own minds. The episode explores why review culture can damage films before audiences even get a chance to experience them. Using examples such as Ghostbusters (2016), Tom discusses how internet outrage, YouTube reviewers and social media echo chambers can influence opinions long before release day. There’s also plenty to discuss about James Gunn’s DC Universe, including the film’s world-building, visual effects, practical creature design, action scenes, Jason Momoa’s debut as Lobo, connections to Superman, and why Gunn’s approach to comic book movies feels fresh compared with traditional superhero films. Without revealing the biggest plot twists, Tom explains what worked, what surprised him, and why he believes Supergirl succeeds as a character-driven adventure rather than simply trying to recreate another Superman story. If you’re wondering whether the latest DC movie is worth your time, this review gives you an honest perspective without telling you what to think. Whether you’re a lifelong DC Comics fan, a James Gunn supporter, a superhero movie enthusiast, or simply curious about the latest blockbuster, this bonus episode is for you. #Supergirl #JamesGunn #DCStudios #MovieReview #Podcast

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