Who was the very first person to ever start an ant farm? Some absolute weirdo looked at the tiny bugs marching across his floor and thought "you know what? I'm gonna trap a bunch of you in a box and just... watch." Not eat them. Not study them. Just stare at them through glass for entertainment. Was it loneliness? Was it the world's first reality show? Did the ants consent to this? We don't know, and we didn't look it up. This week we dig up the original ant landlord — the first man to turn pets into content — with the confidence of two men who could not keep a single houseplant alive.

100% unverified. As always.

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