Who was the very first person to ever get a haircut? Some shaggy caveman's hair got long enough to be a real problem, and somebody — maybe him, maybe a "friend" — grabbed the sharpest rock around and went "hold still." No mirror. No scissors. No "so, doing anything fun this weekend?" Just a sharp rock and a lot of trust. Was it the first style? The first bad style? The first time someone ugly-cried in a barber's chair? We don't know, and we didn't look it up. This week we hunt down the original barber — the founding father of the fade — with the confidence of two men whose own haircuts are nothing to brag about.

100% unverified. As always.

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