Funny riffs on car warning and hostess fun! Then: Chris relates his foundational incidents that laid the foundation for his stupidity: Stealing candy from a store and, much later, money from a mall fountain. Learning how to drive (Dad vs. Mom). Scalping David Bowie tickets. Hearing Dad’s F-bomb for the first time. Getting totally smashed with my best friend at 18 – and having to deal with the consequences.

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