This has plagued me so much, but ASI articulated it so well for me I wish I could attach a link to that video.

Our femininity is natural and it doesn’t exist for women’s pleasure but our own. It is unfortunate for me that some of that femininity has been dulled down by the negative perceptions of those around me. I realise that it was out of fear and in some way, was intended for my benefit. But it caused more harm than good.

I think an open conversation about what they were afraid of would have helped more than the fear mongering. It was also very confusing to think something that came so naturally to me, that I hadn’t been taught, could be so wrong or carry a negative stigma. I imagine those feelings are a fraction of what gays, lesbians and others within the LGBTQIA+ community feel about their existence.