We don't have any new year new us resolutions girls and boys - if anything we're resolved to remain as chaotic and catastrophic as last year. We know you missed us over the holidays, but you didn't miss much - we shopped, sunned, snored and for Brookey - sanctioned screen time.

Whilst we were off duty, Hollywood was working overtime: between Saltburn and Salt Lake City, wow there's a lot for us to discuss. Brookey fills Alana in on the pop culture sensation that is Gypsy Rose Blanchard, the highly esteemed motherkiller. We did only a spot of shopping, but here are some recs for you anyway:

• Read: I have some questions for you by Rebecca Makkai
• Read: Down the drain by Julia Fox
• Read: Promising young women by Caroline O’Donohugh
• Read: Yellowface by R. F. Kuang
• Brookey's de-mineralising spray  ...