Purposely Peaceful: A Therapist's Guide to Relationships, Emotional Healing & Inner Peace

Purposely Peaceful: A Therapist's Guide to Relationships, Emotional Healing & Inner Peace

by Jessica Rivera, LMFT
#45 Parenting The Child You Can't Control
Explicit
Parenting is one of the hardest relationships we’ll ever navigate. We can guide our children, protect them, teach them, and love them deeply—but we cannot completely control who they become, the choices they make, or the path they take. In this episode, Jessica reflects on raising five children with very different personalities and temperaments. She explores the tension between helping and overhelping, setting boundaries, allowing natural consequences, and accepting that our children must eventually learn to live their own lives. Sometimes the child who worries you the most still turns out okay. Jessica did. Love and compassion matter. Believing things can work out matters. And when we cannot control the outcome, hope may be what carries both the parent and the child through. Follow Purposely Peaceful for honest conversations about relationships, emotional healing, and finding peace through life’s hardest moments. ✨ Stay connected: Want to see more of my real life and more conversations about peace: https://t.mtrbio.com/purposelypeaceful E-mail: hello@purposelypeaceful.com Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the host and are for informational purposes only. They are not intended as professional advice, and each individual should assess their personal situation and seek professional guidance when needed.
#44 ADHD in Our Marriage: Understanding, Impact & Staying on the Same Team
ADHD in Our Marriage: Understanding, Impact & Staying on the Same Team After 17 years together and five kids, Jimmy and I have learned that two people can experience the exact same situation completely differently. In this episode, we’re sharing an honest- and sometimes very funny- look at how ADHD traits show up in our marriage. Jimmy talks about his experiences with forgetfulness, disorganization, impulsivity, task initiation, and having approximately 47 mental tabs open at once. I share what those differences can feel like from the other side. From Jimmy accidentally leaving with my keys on our daughter’s first day of school to reminders that once sounded like nagging, we explore how seemingly small moments can create real tension when they happen repeatedly. We discuss: What ADHD can look like beyond simply “not paying attention” How forgetfulness and disorganization affect the entire family The difference between understanding someone’s intentions and ignoring the impact Why timing and delivery matter during difficult conversations Allowing your partner time to process instead of demanding an immediate response Using reminders as an agreed-upon form of support When acceptance is appropriate—and when a boundary is still needed How humor has helped us stop turning every frustration into a relationship problem Recognizing the strengths that can come with a brain that works differently Why communication is the golden thread through all of it Understanding why your partner does something can completely change how you interpret their behavior—but it doesn’t mean the impact suddenly stops mattering. The goal isn’t for Jimmy to think like me or for me to think like him. It’s figuring out how the two people who are actually here can continue learning, adjusting, and choosing to be on the same team. If this episode reminds you of your own relationship, share it with your person and follow Purposely Peaceful for more honest conversations about relationships, emotional healing, and creating lasting peace. ✨ Stay connected: Want to see more of my real life and more conversations about peace: https://t.mtrbio.com/purposelypeaceful E-mail: hello@purposelypeaceful.com Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the host and are for informational purposes only. They are not intended as professional advice, and each individual should assess their personal situation and seek professional guidance when needed.
#43 Fair Fighting: Conflict Without Destroying the Relationship
Explicit
What if fighting doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is unhealthy? Disagreements are going to happen. We’re going to misunderstand each other, lose our patience, and occasionally show up as less-than-ideal versions of ourselves. What matters is how we treat each other when that happens. In this episode, I’m sharing what Jimmy and I have learned about fair fighting throughout our relationship, along with some of the principles I’ve helped clients navigate over the years. We’ll talk about: Making respect the foundation of conflict Recognizing when it’s time to call a timeout Why a timeout must be honored, even when the conversation isn’t finished What it means to fight without playing dirty Protecting the person you love from the cruelest version of you Returning to the conversation instead of using space as avoidance Taking responsibility, apologizing, and repairing after conflict The goal isn’t to become a couple that never fights. The goal is to experience conflict without destroying the safety, respect, and love within the relationship. Because peace in a relationship doesn’t mean nothing ever disturbs it. Sometimes peace is knowing that even when things get hard, you’ll find your way back. ✨ Stay connected: Want to see more of my real life and more conversations about peace: https://t.mtrbio.com/purposelypeaceful E-mail: hello@purposelypeaceful.com Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the host and are for informational purposes only. They are not intended as professional advice, and each individual should assess their personal situation and seek professional guidance when needed.
#42 Emotional Intelligence vs. Emotional Maturity: Why Knowing Isn't Enough
Explicit
Can someone be emotionally intelligent... but emotionally immature? The answer surprises a lot of people. In this episode, therapist Jessica Rivera and her husband, Jimmy, explore one of the biggest misconceptions in relationships: emotional intelligence and emotional maturity are not the same thing. You'll learn why understanding emotions doesn't always translate into healthy behavior, how emotional maturity shows up during conflict, and what to watch for when you're dating or trying to build a stronger relationship. In this episode, we discuss: The difference between emotional intelligence and emotional maturity Why conflict reveals emotional maturity How to recognize emotional growth in yourself and others Common relationship patterns that keep couples stuck Why healthy relationships require practice—not perfection Along the way, we share honest stories from our own marriage, the lessons we've learned over 17 years together, and the ongoing work of building a relationship rooted in accountability, growth, and peace. Because knowing better isn't the goal. Living it is. ✨ Stay connected: Want to see more of my real life and glimpses of peace? Follow me on Instagram → @purposely.peaceful Tik Tok→ @purposely.peaceful Facebook→ Purposely Peaceful Youtube→ Purposely Peaceful Website → purposelypeaceful.com E-mail: hello@purposelypeaceful.com Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the host and are for informational purposes only. They are not intended as professional advice, and each individual should assess their personal situation and seek professional guidance when needed.
#41 Why Couples Stop Caring (Even When They're Still in Love)
Explicit
EPISODE 41: Why Couples Stop Caring (Even When They're Still in Love) Why do some couples slowly drift apart—even when they still love each other? This one is a little messy because we recorded a video for YouTube and it was awkward- please have some patience for us. In this episode, my husband Jimmy joins me for our very first conversation together as we explore one of the most overlooked foundations of a healthy relationship: caring. After nearly 17 years together, we've learned that healthy relationships aren't built by avoiding conflict. They're built by continuing to show up for one another through the small, everyday moments that create trust, connection, and emotional safety. In this episode: Why love and caring aren't the same thing Why couples slowly stop showing up for each other How to make your partner feel cared for every day What caring looks like during conflict Why showing up matters more than perfection What does caring look like in your relationship? 🤍 ✨ Stay connected: Want to see more of my real life and more conversations about peace: https://t.mtrbio.com/purposelypeaceful E-mail: hello@purposelypeaceful.com Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the host and are for informational purposes only. They are not intended as professional advice, and each individual should assess their personal situation and seek professional guidance when needed.
#40 Relationships Will Test Your Peace- (Series Starts Here)
Relationships Will Test Your Peace What if the quality of your relationships has more to do with the quality of your peace than you realize? In this episode, I share the personal journey that completely changed the way I view relationships—and why I've chosen to begin an entire series on this topic. We'll explore how the pursuit of inner peace led me to rethink self-respect, mutual respect, and the people we allow closest to us. This episode lays the foundation for the weeks ahead as we explore the relationship skills that have the greatest impact on creating a more peaceful life. In this episode, we'll discuss: Why the pursuit of peace naturally led me to relationships The connection between self-respect and inner peace How healthy relationships are built on mutual respect Why growth changes relationships The foundation for building healthier, more peaceful connections ✨ Next week, my husband Jimmy joins me for a conversation about marriage, growth, and the lessons we've learned together over the years. I can't wait to share it with you. ✨ Stay connected: Want to see more of my real life and glimpses of peace? Follow me on Instagram → @purposely.peaceful Tik Tok→ @purposely.peaceful Facebook→ Purposely Peaceful Youtube→ Purposely Peaceful Website → purposelypeaceful.com E-mail: hello@purposelypeaceful.com Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the host and are for informational purposes only. They are not intended as professional advice, and each individual should assess their personal situation and seek professional guidance when needed.
#39 Time To Take Up Space
Episode 39: Time to Take Up Space What if the life you've been longing for simply can't fit inside the version of you that's still trying to stay small? So many of us spend years shrinking ourselves—not because it's what we truly want, but because it feels safer. Safer than being judged. Safer than disappointing others. Safer than being seen. In this episode, we're exploring what it really means to take up space and why becoming more fully yourself isn't selfish—it's part of creating genuine inner peace. In this episode, we'll talk about: Why so many of us learn to play small The hidden beliefs that keep us stuck The connection between authenticity and inner peace The simple questions that can help you uncover where you're holding yourself back Why taking up space is one of the most peaceful things you can do Journal Prompts Take some time to reflect on these questions: • Where am I holding myself back? • What is it costing me to stay small? • What would my life look like if I stopped hiding? • Where in my life am I waiting for permission that only I can give myself? Continue the Journey If this episode resonated with you, these episodes pair beautifully with today's conversation: Episode 38 – Confidence You Can't Break Discover why confidence isn't something you're born with—it's something you build by facing what scares you. Episode 37 – Challenging Fear And Doing it Anyway A conversation about moving forward before you feel ready and why waiting for confidence often keeps us stuck. Episode 13 – The Road to Peace Starts with Self-Love Learning to love yourself isn't optional—it's the foundation for becoming fully who you were created to be. Episode 28: You Have to Be the Best at What You're the Worst At, Title: That One Sentence That Changed My Life (and Maybe It'll Change Yours Too). Sometimes our greatest growth begins with the very thing we're most afraid to do. Timestamp: 00:00 Welcome Back Update 00:34 Why We Play Small 01:29 True Peace Definition 02:10 My Story Of Hiding 03:08 Choose Your Life 03:23 Journal Prompts Clarity 04:48 Worthiness Without Proof 05:18 Avoidance And Ego 07:31 Someday Dreams Reminder 09:04 Do You Love Returning Home 09:58 Being Seen Online 12:01 Permission To Take Space 12:34 Final Sendoff ✨ Stay connected: Want to see more of my real life and glimpses of peace? Follow me on Instagram → @purposely.peaceful Tik Tok→ @purposely.peaceful Facebook→ Purposely Peaceful Youtube→ Purposely Peaceful Website → purposelypeaceful.com Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the host and are for informational purposes only. They are not intended as professional advice, and each individual should assess their personal situation and seek professional guidance when needed.
#38 Confidence You Can't Break
Episode 38: Confidence You Can't Break For years, I thought I lacked confidence. What I eventually discovered was that my fear of being seen had much deeper roots. In this episode, I share one of the biggest breakthroughs of my personal healing journey, how understanding where our fears come from can help us move through them, and why confidence isn't something you're born with- it's something you build. In this episode: Why confidence is often tied to unresolved fear The surprising realization that changed my life How past experiences can shape the way we see ourselves Building confidence one uncomfortable step at a time The connection between self-compassion, healing, and growth Why confidence becomes harder to lose once you've earned it Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome & What's Going On Right Now 00:30 Why Confidence Matters 01:30 Find Your Starting Point 02:01 My Fear of Attention 03:20 The Hide to Be Safe Breakthrough 05:22 Building Proof Through Practice 06:58 Process Emotions and Reclaim Power 08:25 Take Up Space Next Episode 08:44 Thanks and Goodbye ✨ Stay connected: Want to see more of my real life and glimpses of peace? Follow me on Instagram → @purposely.peaceful Tik Tok→ @purposely.peaceful Facebook→ Purposely Peaceful Youtube→ Purposely Peaceful Website → purposelypeaceful.com If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love for you to rate and review it. Your feedback helps me continue to grow and reach more people who need this message! Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the host and are for informational purposes only. They are not intended as professional advice, and each individual should assess their personal situation and seek professional guidance when needed.
#37 Challenging Fear and Doing It Anyway
Ep 37 Challenging Fear and Doing It Anyway: Why Waiting to Feel Ready Keeps You Stuck Fear can feel like a warning sign, but often it's simply a sign that you're stepping into something new. In this episode, I share why fear doesn't have to be the thing that stops you from moving forward. Whether you're starting a business, making a life change, speaking up, or taking a leap you've been putting off, growth rarely waits for confidence to arrive first. In this episode: • Why fear is a normal part of growth and expansion • The mistake of waiting until you feel "ready" • How fear and excitement often show up together • What I've learned from doing uncomfortable things anyway • A simple mindset shift that can help you move forward despite uncertainty Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome to Purposely Peaceful 00:21 Fear and Readiness 00:39 Shy but Showing Up 02:36 College Exposure Therapy 04:11 Discomfort vs Danger 04:37 Starting the Podcast 07:10 Social Media Scaries 08:55 Impact Over Comfort 10:17 Fear as Growth Cost 12:36 Do It Anyway 13:30 Final Encouragement ✨ Stay connected: Want to see more of my real life and glimpses of peace? Follow me on Instagram → @purposely.peaceful Tik Tok→ @purposely.peaceful Facebook→ Purposely Peaceful Youtube→ Purposely Peaceful Website → purposelypeaceful.com If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love for you to rate and review it. Your feedback helps me continue to grow and reach more people who need this message! Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the host and are for informational purposes only. They are not intended as professional advice, and each individual should assess their personal situation and seek professional guidance when needed.
#36 Not Everyone Deserves Access to You
Ep 36 Not Everyone Deserves Access to You Relationships have the power to bring us incredible peace- or quietly steal it from us. In this episode, I'm reflecting on some of the relationship lessons I've learned through friendships, family, and marriage, and why one realization completely changed the way I think about boundaries and connection. In this episode, we'll explore: • Why relationships have such a powerful impact on our peace • The difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships • How to recognize when something doesn't feel right • Why boundaries are an important part of self-respect • A simple shift that changed the way I choose who gets access to my life In this episode we discuss: 00:00 Welcome Back Update 00:38 Relationships Shape Peace 01:50 Lessons From Unhealthy Love 02:49 Friendship Red Flags 04:44 Boundaries Not Access 06:47 Check In With Yourself 07:27 Traits Of Healthy Bonds 09:30 Protect Your Peace 10:47 Invest Or Create Distance 11:50 Find Your People 12:57 Closing Thoughts ✨ Stay connected: Want to see more of my real life and glimpses of peace? Follow me on Instagram → @purposely.peaceful Tik Tok→ @purposely.peaceful Facebook→ Purposely Peaceful Youtube→ Purposely Peaceful Website → purposelypeaceful.com If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love for you to rate and review it. Your feedback helps me continue to grow and reach more people who need this message! Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the host and are for informational purposes only. They are not intended as professional advice, and each individual should assess their personal situation and seek professional guidance when needed.
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