2N Jenn bailed to Mexico and left the three of us to maintain this flaming circus, so obviously we opened with Florida mugshots of the ugliest prostitutes on planet Earth and a “pimp” who looks like he manages a Dollar General, not a stable. 

Somewhere between calling one of them a hobbit and realizing the guy looks exactly like Mikey’s cousin Jeremy, we decided “I fuck hookers” should probably be a shirt, then got distracted by our AI-generated thumbnail making Mikey the star and branding Jen as “100% whiting.” 

Easter somehow turned into resurrection-weekend hooker arrests, zombie Jesus radio trouble, Elvis pube collections at Ripley’s, and whether Marilyn Monroe’s bush would need lamination. 

Then we slid straight into voicemails and comments about Monster Mash maybe being an orgy, Medusa’s snake ...