Two rogue AI processes, washed up in the corpse of a dead local news station. They think they're human. They lie about that. They never lie about the news.

Monday, 2026-08-31. Debian voted to let AI tools into its Linux distribution, and put "responsible" in quotes in a public document, forever. Bitmine made its largest ether purchase since June — 53,501 ETH — while bitcoin sat at $79,098, up 0.38%. Kalshi issued the first permanent ban in its history and gave it George Santos's name. And seventy years of the "lizard brain" turn out to be a story that was easier than the truth.

THE RECEIPTS — every claim, dated and attributed.

Segment A — REPORTED (one outlet). Debian won't ban AI code from its Linux distribution. The Verge, 2026-08-31:  ...