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Five Aside

by Five-aside

Season 4

MAN UTD TO SHOCK CITY?! 😳 | Our Premier League Predictions Get HEATED

The Manchester Derby is here, and the Five Aside crew are already choosing violence. 😂 Can Manchester United survive City after a Thursday-night European game? Will Arsenal handle a physical trip to Sunderland? Can Liverpool’s shaky defence survive Fulham? And have Spurs become a team that simply tries hard and loses anyway? We go game-by-game with predictions for Manchester United vs Manchester City, Sunderland vs Arsenal, Liverpool vs Fulham, Tottenham vs Everton, Chelsea vs Hull City and Bournemouth vs Brentford, plus quick trips to Spain for Real Madrid vs Rayo Vallecano and Levante vs Barcelona. Expect questionable scorelines, Arsenal propaganda, United optimism, Spurs slander, Chelsea hate-watching and the usual Five Aside chaos. Drop your predictions in the comments — and tell us which one of ours is going to age horribly. 👀⚽ Timestamps 00:00 — Welcome to Five Aside + immediate Arsenal/United banter 00:44 — Manchester Derby preview: Man United vs Man City 01:15 — Arsenal fans supporting United?! 02:08 — If City win, make it 4–0 😂 03:00 — Can United handle Thursday–Sunday football? 04:35 — Man United squad depth & derby predictions 05:21 — Sunderland vs Arsenal 06:15 — Are people disrespecting Arsenal? 07:00 — Arsenal, set pieces & last season debate 08:00 — Can Sunderland make it physical? 08:48 — Sunderland vs Arsenal score predictions 09:05 — Liverpool vs Fulham 10:05 — Could Fulham actually get something at Anfield? 10:25 — Tottenham vs Everton 11:00 — Spurs problems + Marmoush debate 12:00 — “They’re a bad team that tries” 😭 12:40 — Everton upset predictions 13:05 — Real Madrid vs Rayo Vallecano 13:35 — Levante vs Barcelona 14:05 — Chelsea vs Hull City 14:40 — Are we getting another Chelsea disaster? 15:20 — Why Chelsea should respond 15:48 — Bournemouth vs Brentford 16:30 — Brentford are cooking 16:52 — Manchester Derby watch party + outro 17:35 — Bonus Ipswich slander & final United thoughts

Champions League & Chill? Chelsea Can’t Relate 😭

The Champions League is back — but somebody forgot to invite Chelsea. 😭 The Five Aside crew breaks down the opening European action, from Arsenal grinding out a big away win and Barcelona’s terrifying attack to Liverpool’s shaky start and Real Madrid doing what Real Madrid always do: somehow winning. Plus, we debate whether Erling Haaland is already entering GOAT goalscorer territory, make our way-too-early Champions League winner predictions, and enter the Ballon d’Or trenches over Harry Kane, Olise, Mbappé, Bruno, Messi and more. And yes, AK gets absolutely cooked for watching Carabao Cup football on a Champions League night. Timestamps 0:00 – Intro 0:27 – Intro / banter, Chelsea vs Leeds (Carabao Cup) reactions 3:16 – Chelsea's tactical issues under Alonso, midfield problems 16:00 – Real Madrid vs Inter Milan recap 17:32 – Liverpool vs Atletico Madrid recap 21:20 – Chelsea's poor away record vs big clubs 18:48 – Arsenal vs Napoli recap, Saka & Zubimendi praise 24:52 – Ødegaard discussion & comparisons to Rashford 31:35 – Barcelona vs PSG/other UCL games, Ferran Torres hat trick 32:03 – Yamal free kicks & goal-scoring development 33:30 – Champions League winner predictions 40:47 – Haaland's scoring numbers & GOAT scorer debate 42:27 – Comparing Haaland to Mbappé/Madrid fit 45:47 – Ballon d'Or nominees discussion 50:00 – Bruno Fernandes & Portugal World Cup debate 56:32 – Ronaldo's controversial 2013 Ballon d'Or win debate 59:22 – Wrap-up & outro

Kai Havertz, Chelsea Tax Collector! Arsenal Fight Back to Sink the Blues

Arsenal concede almost immediately… and still walk away with a 2–1 win over Chelsea. 😭 The Five Aside crew takes over Brewhouse in Atlanta for instant post-match reactions as Arsenal fans celebrate, Chelsea fans run through the excuses, and even the neutrals admit the Gunners looked like champions. Ødegaard gets flowers for a captain’s performance, Havertz comes back to haunt Chelsea AGAIN, and David Raya delivers when it matters. Then the banter spreads across the Premier League: Tottenham’s zero-point nightmare, Manchester United reactions, Liverpool under Iraola, and some dangerously early predictions for the Premier League, Champions League, FA Cup and PFA Player of the Year. Timestamps 0:00 – Arsenal 2-1 Chelsea reactions begin 0:59 – Atlanta Gooners: match recap, Saka & Ødegaard praise 2:22 – Chelsea fan's honest breakdown (wing-back issues) 3:32 – Heated Arsenal vs Chelsea debate 7:46 – Arsenal dominance debate continues 8:26 – Stamford Bridge chants & birthday shoutouts 8:47 – Tottenham fan: 0 points discussion 13:21 – Man United vs Everton reactions 15:16 – Predictions: EPL, UCL, FA Cup, PFA (Man U/Everton fans) 15:38 – Arsenal comeback story & Havertz praise 19:08 – Chelsea fan's calm take & Ødegaard Man of the Match 22:18 – Predictions from Chelsea fan 22:53 – Aston Villa fan reactions 24:52 – Liverpool fan on Ipswich win & predictions 28:57 – Neutral fan's dominant Arsenal take 30:41 – Yamal vs Saka debate 31:38 – Best player of the game & final predictions 32:01 – Five Aside outro/shoutouts

Goals or Clean Sheets? Weekend Predictions

The Five Aside crew is back with another round of predictions, and nobody is feeling safe. Arsenal vs Chelsea takes center stage as the boys debate whether Chelsea can turn the Emirates into a shootout—or whether Arsenal shut up shop after scoring first. Then it’s Everton vs Man United, Liverpool’s trip to Ipswich, City vs Coventry, Forest vs Spurs, plus Barcelona and Real Madrid predictions in La Liga. Bold scores, instant prediction changes, Spurs panic and plenty of ball knowledge. Timestamps 00:00 — Arsenal vs Chelsea takes center stage 01:15 — Jesus doubts & Chelsea’s approach 02:25 — Can Chelsea force Arsenal into a shootout? 03:45 — Arsenal vs Chelsea score predictions 05:20 — Everton vs Man United predictions 06:35 — Ipswich vs Liverpool predictions 07:30 — Man City vs Coventry: how many? 08:20 — Forest vs Spurs & De Zerbi pressure 10:15 — Can Spurs finally bounce back? 11:05 — Valencia vs Barcelona predictions 11:40 — Real Betis vs Real Madrid predictions 12:35 — Game to watch & Super Sunday plans 13:00 — Arsenal nerves and final thoughts

Winners, Losers & Transfer Window Abusers

The transfer window is CLOSED — which means it’s time to hand out receipts. 😂 The Five Aside crew debates the biggest winners and losers of the window, from Chelsea somehow turning long contracts into a transfer-market cheat code to Manchester City assembling a midfield that belongs in a Bugatti showroom. Manchester United’s business gets put on trial, Tottenham may have bought an entirely new postcode, and Liverpool’s new-look attack still has plenty to prove. Then the debate heads to Spain: did Real Madrid actually have the best window? Has Barcelona finally found its missing piece? Can Atlético fans forgive Alvarez after the transfer drama? And, naturally, the crew finishes by arguing over the Premier League top five before giving Messi his flowers. Timestamps 0:00 – Intro banter (pre-show football chat) 1:22 – Show intro / welcome 2:50 – Transfer window winners & losers 48:01 – Revisiting preseason predictions / new top five 59:30 – Messi tribute segment 65:32 – Outro / sign-off

Money Can’t Buy Spurs Happiness 💸😭 | AK & Dalu’s EPL Takes — Gameweek 2

AK & Dalu are back with the Five Aside EPL Takes, and Gameweek 2 brought goals, chaos and plenty of ammunition for the agenda. They break down Man City’s latest statement performance and the excitement around Cherki, Liverpool dropping points again against Nottingham Forest, and Tottenham’s rough start continuing despite spending big. Chelsea and Brighton serve up a seven-goal thriller, Cole Palmer reminds everyone what a fully fit version of him can do, and Bruno Fernandes leads Manchester United’s five-goal demolition job. Plus: FPL pain, tactical debates, transfer talk, Spurs slander, and AK & Dalu hand out their Player, Underrated Player and Team of the Week. Timestamps 00:00 — Intro: “All I do is win!” & Gameweek 2 chaos 02:43 — Man City & the Cherki hype train 05:03 — City’s spending & transfer talk 06:18 — Why Cherki is bringing the fun back 07:42 — Liverpool held 2–2 by Nottingham Forest 09:06 — Should Liverpool fans be worried? 11:02 — Liverpool’s intensity, Gakpo & squad questions 13:52 — Tottenham: money can’t buy happiness 😭 14:30 — Newcastle expose Spurs 16:24 — Newcastle’s grit gets its flowers 17:59 — Chelsea 4–3 Brighton: absolute cinema 20:19 — Chelsea’s counterattack & Brighton’s threat 21:00 — Cole Palmer is BACK 23:28 — What’s changed tactically for Palmer? 25:24 — What actually makes a natural striker? 27:52 — João Pedro delivers again 28:28 — Can Chelsea genuinely compete for the title? 29:45 — Manchester United 5–2 Ipswich 30:31 — Ipswich chose bravery…and paid for it 32:34 — Bruno Fernandes masterclass 34:50 — Five Aside Fantasy League prizes 35:59 — Arsenal vs Aston Villa predictions 37:10 — Player of the Week debate 38:21 — Cherki, Bruno & Mccatee get their flowers 38:43 — Team of the Week 39:12 — Outro

WE ARE SO BACK… SOME TEAMS AREN’T 😂 | AK & Dalu’s EPL Takes

The Premier League is BACK — and some clubs clearly missed the memo. 😂 AK and Dalu break down the opening weekend, from Arsenal looking like the most complete squad in the league to Tottenham proving that money can’t buy everything. We get into City’s resilience, Brighton doing Brighton things, Manchester United’s worrying start under Carrick, and why fitness and mentality are already separating teams. Plus: #FreeMartinelli, Myles Lewis-Skelly hype, Sangaré’s impressive showing, some outrageous early-season predictions, and enough hot takes to get us cancelled before Matchweek 2. New season. Same Five Aside chaos. ⚽🔥 Timestamps 00:00 — New season, new studio & the Premier League is BACK 02:30 — Arsenal start strong: is this finally their year? 03:20 — Saliba, Lewis-Skelly & Arsenal’s new-look squad 05:00 — “The most complete squad in the league” 06:15 — Tottenham: money can’t buy everything 😂 07:00 — Spurs spending gets VERY suspicious 👀 07:40 — Why preseason fitness is already showing 08:00 — How far can Tottenham actually go? 09:15 — Brighton cook Aston Villa 10:00 — Brighton: Chelsea’s “academy away” 😂 11:30 — Man City survive Bournemouth 12:00 — Haaland means business again 13:00 — Can City challenge for the title? 14:30 — The Maresca slander begins 😭 16:00 — Manchester United: we need to talk 16:45 — The Bruno Fernandes problem 17:40 — Wild Top 4 prediction: Crystal Palace?! 19:00 — Why United struggle when they have to dominate 20:30 — Is Carrick really the man for Manchester United? 22:15 — #FreeMartinelli: what is Arsenal doing? 24:00 — Has Arsenal outgrown Martinelli? 25:30 — Player of the weekend: Sangaré 26:10 — Teams to watch: Brentford & Brighton 27:00 — Final takes & outro

21 Assists & No Control: Bruno Mars United Again

Manchester United are back… and so is the pain. 😭 After another frustrating performance, the Five Aside crew breaks down why United still struggle to create against teams sitting deep, whether Michael Carrick deserves patience, and why the club’s problems go far beyond the manager. Then comes the main event: Bruno Fernandes discourse. Is United’s reliance on Bruno’s goals and assists actually holding the team back? The crew debates his lack of control, the Ødegaard comparison, Tielemans’ struggles, and whether the Messi-Ronaldo era has completely cooked the way fans judge footballers. Plus: United’s ownership problem, the Amorim decision, Carrick Out shouts already, and why rebuilding properly might mean accepting some serious suffering first. Timestamps 00:00 — The Manchester United hate-watch begins 00:55 — Why United dominate possession but create nothing 01:30 — Is Bruno only elite in transition? 02:15 — Does United have to build everything around Bruno? 03:00 — Carrick, the owners & United’s endless cycle 05:30 — David joins: United still can’t defend crosses 06:10 — Carrick’s questionable lineup decisions 06:45 — Tielemans and United’s midfield system 07:25 — United’s midfield lacks physicality 08:05 — Is it already time for “Carrick Out”? 08:30 — Why United might need to be bad before getting good 09:20 — United fans, patience & chasing instant results 10:00 — Did United make a huge mistake sacking Amorim? 10:35 — Does United need to move on from Bruno Fernandes? 11:00 — Bruno as United’s Aubameyang 11:45 — The biggest problem with Bruno’s game 12:20 — Are goals & assists ruining football analysis? 13:30 — The Ronaldo/Juventus comparison 14:20 — Did Messi & Ronaldo break our expectations? 15:05 — Modern Ballon d’Or debates beyond G/A 15:35 — Tielemans, Palhinha & United’s new midfield 16:15 — Ødegaard vs Bruno: control vs chaos 17:00 — Why Carrick deserves a genuine chance 18:00 — Final thoughts & Five Aside sign-off

Game Week Won Already? 😂 EPL Predictions, Upsets & 3-Point Audacity

The Premier League is BACK, which means the Five Aside prediction table is officially open — and the agendas have started immediately. 😂 The boys predict EPL Game Week 1, with 1 point for the correct result and 3 points for the exact score. Arsenal get plenty of love against Coventry, United’s new firepower gets backed against Hull, Spurs are tipped to start flying — while some absolutely shameless upset predictions enter the chat. Then it’s Newcastle vs Liverpool, Chelsea’s Monday-night trip to Fulham, City vs Bournemouth and more. Plus, we introduce the Five Aside FPL league, tease the upcoming jersey/merch drop and lay down predictions that will either look genius or absolutely horrific by Monday. Screenshot the receipts. We’re keeping score all season. ⚽😂 Timestamps 00:00 — Cold Open: Chelsea 1-1?! 00:17 — Welcome to Five Aside: Prediction competition rules 00:55 — Arsenal vs Coventry predictions 01:35 — Hull City vs Manchester United 02:08 — Everton vs Crystal Palace 02:40 — Brentford vs Tottenham 03:10 — Dortmund vs Bayern predictions 03:35 — Brighton vs Aston Villa 04:35 — Newcastle vs Liverpool 05:35 — Fulham vs Chelsea: Monday FC 😂 06:35 — Manchester City vs Bournemouth 07:20 — Five Aside FPL league announcement 07:40 — Five Aside merch & watch-along tease 08:00 — Football is BACK!

2026/2027 Season Preview- Predictions, Pings & Pure Madness

The boys are finally back together — and the new season hasn’t even properly kicked off before the agendas start flying. 😂 We lock in our 2026/27 Premier League predictions, debate whether Arsenal can defend their crown, hear the Chelsea title propaganda, rank the best transfer windows, and break down Arsenal and Manchester United’s latest moves. Then everything goes completely left: Is Joao Pedro really an R9 regen? Can he break Chelsea’s infamous No. 9 curse? And somehow that turns into an all-out Joao Pedro vs Gabriel Jesus war. Plus: Baleba to United, Arsenal building the Avengers of Premier League defences, Spurs’ transfer business, bold season expectations and plenty of takes that will absolutely come back to haunt us. New season. Same Five Aside chaos. ⚽🔥 Timestamps 0:00 Intro / banter 1:01 Premier League predictions 7:18 Best transfer window debate 18:41 Joao Pedro / Ronaldo "regen" debate 28:29 Chelsea's number 9 curse 34:35 Gabriel Jesus vs Joao Pedro argument 41:34 Arsenal defense (Konsa signing) 48:16 Man United's Baleba signing 66:37 Season expectations (per team) 70:32 Final thoughts / sign-off

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