Hildy's Hot Takes | Podcast on RSS.com

Hildy's Hot Takes

Hildy's Hot Takes

by Jarod Hilderman

Comedy News Sports

Episode 31: It Was Going Good Until She Couldn't Figure Out Yesterday's Wordle

Another episode coming at ya!! Euphoria really shat the bed in season 2 and I am kind of pissed off about it. I went to the casino last night and realized the blackjack perfect strategy card is fraudulent after some had the audacity to take a piss in the urinal right next to me in an empty bathroom. Some of my other hot takes this episode are that "What is your source" people are the worst and that if you can't correctly guess even one day of Wordle you are an idiot.

Episode 30: Seriously Though, Caffeine is Legal and Marijuana Isn't?

I am back! Apologies for the hiatus I just am addicted to complaining about things right now because I can't get off Twitter and the current state of the world is giving me a headache and I didn't want to sound like a whiny bitch. You should never eat a cookie without putting it in the microwave for 10 seconds first. The Olympics are officially dead and that is HHT Certified. Coffee should be illegal. Russia needs to take a xanax. The pandemic is over. It is 2022 if you didn't know, someone tell Justin Trudeau. Enjoy!

Episode 29: The World is Quickly Spinning Down the Toilet, Fact Checkers Report

I get a little depressed every time I go on Twitter and look at the news tab and the articles that they decide to post on there. Well, not actually because that stuff does not affect you or I one little bit. On this episode I also put forth an incredible, coherent rant, even for my standards, on why it makes so much sense to expand the college football playoff. Seriously a masterpiece if you ask me. In other news, Bobby Orr might be a better player all-time than Wayne Gretzky and Cale Makar is better than Bobby Orr. Also Antonio Brown is a clown but its not something to gloat over because it actually is pretty sad to see what is happening to him. I honestly hope he can get some help. Thanks for listening!! Enjoy!

Episode 28: First EVER Guest on Hildy's Hot Takes Taking us into the New Year

Happy New Year everyone! On this episode I decided to just say fuck it and I invited my roommate on the road and teammate of mine on the Oilers, Jake Pappalardo, on to the pod to help me sort through the chaos. Jake is a huge beauty with a huge ass on him and some nice legs. We talk about covid, the new movie Dont Look Up, fact checkers, limes over lemons, fentanyl overdoses, airplane etiquette, and stupid people bragging about their kids political views on twitter. Papps also gives his official Hildy's Hot Takes picks for the College Football Championship Bowl games. Enjoy!!!

Episode 27: Raise Your Hand if You Would be a Better NFL Coach than Urban Meyer

Because I am a professional podcaster, I pre-recorded this episode a week in advance because I was going to be busy over the holidays. Just pro podcaster things. On this episode I ponder whether it would be beneficial or not if Salvation Army volunteers played dubstep through a speaker instead of ringing their annoying bells for donations. Urban Meyer gets fired from the Jags in what might be the most incompetent display of professionalism in the history of the universe. What a joke that guy is. Imagine being his wife and kids. Yikes. Other topics I touch on for this week include movie doomsday scenarios being totally unrealistic, Jason Spezza somehow getting his suspension reduced in the most mickey mouse appeal process, and gamer nerds have nothing better to do with their lives than play their games and complain about how bad they are. Enjoy folks!

Episode 26: Why Do We Let an Old Man in a Costume Touch Our Kids in Malls Every Christmas?

Seriously though, is it really that important to get a picture of your 3 year old that doesn't have a clue what is going on with "Santa" who is probably some old weird geezer that gets off on child pornography?? On this episode I talk about that, and also that nobody gives on flying fuck about the recap of your year that you post on your social media stories. It is almost 2022 and if you didn't know, paper receipts give you cancer when you touch them. No joke, look it up. They are also a purely archaic way to document a purchasing transaction in the year that is 2021, almost 2022. Also included in this episode are the facts that if Minnesota Wild fans don't shut up about the Wild being good they will literally jinx themselves into not even making the playoffs, and that some girls entire lives revolve around saying that guys are walking red flags. How about you look in the mirror????? Enjoy.

Episode 25: If You Ain't Talking Pomegranates I Don't Wanna Talk

I honestly don't even know what I am talking about on this podcast anymore. It seems like absolute nonsense to me but nonetheless.... If you want to know what my top 5 favorite fruits are give this one a listen. I take some time to bitch about world governments making up new Covid variants to scare people and I also go on a bit of a rant about Twitter and Instagram trying to guilt trip me out of telling people they are the dumbest people alive. Also why is taking your car in to get fixed such a damn ordeal every time? Maybe if I knew how to check my own oil it wouldn't be as big of a deal.

Episode 24: If People Consider You "Normal" You're Living Life the Wrong Way

Rodney D Hilderman is visiting the beautiful state of Oklahoma and he will be in pure bliss over the next 12 days. Carlo Coliacovo and Marc Methot, two former NHL players cannot figure out the concept of basic supply and demand economics when it comes to why NHL players are paid less than other leagues. I talk about how important it is to be as weird as possible and try as hard as you possibly can not to be normal. Because if you are normal you're basically slowly killing yourself. Not my best episode, but what is good and what is bad is merely a figment of our collective imaginations and nothing really matters in this world anyway. So, if you have anything bad about to say about the podcast.. First, tell me. Second, fuck off.

Episode 23: Tiger is Hitting Balls Again and We're Worried About Booster Shots???

This episode may be my best yet... YOU BE THE JUDGE I talk about Hulu's ads that are 1 billion times louder than the actual show for some stupid reason. Then I use my gigantic genius brain to connect my heart rate variability to the time it takes like 10 or more cars to eventually all hit their gas pedals after the traffic light turns green. Genius. I create and new rule for everyone attending a live concert that I am going to be policing hard, you're going to want to know what it is so you don't get caught doing it. In other news TIger fucking Woods is back hitting balls on the driving range and Joe Biden is trying to coerce me into getting a booster vaccine. Insanity. At the end of the show I pay my respects to my main girl Rezz, a dj who I am in love with.

Episode 22: I Thought Dan & Shay was a Guy and a Girl This Whole Time

Apologies for the sniffles and one (1) sneeze during this episode. I start this ACTUAL episode 22 off by complaining again about how soft NHL fans are in terms of player safety and rough plays. Like grow the fuck up already. Then you hear about my so-so experience at a Dan and Shay concert with the boys. I literally thought Shay was a girl this whole time. The episode then takes a bit of a turn, as they always do, and I debate an important hypothetical about guys and girls saying they're gay in the middle of a heterosexual relationship and tie that into how we all need to be better in understanding and respecting other people's opinions. Before I let you go I do some reflecting on how the pandemic has ended up affecting the team environment in a positive way.

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