The relationship ends. You lick your wounds. And then you say something like: "I've got to work on myself before I start another one". But what does that mean - working on your attachment style maybe? - and are you sure that a long period of time out of a relationship is the best thing for you?

Graham and Matt offer a different take in this episode: both that the best change often occurs inside a good relationship. And anyway, the personality science suggests you can't change your personality that much. So the best attitude is to try and be yourself, but better, in a better relationship.

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