Kid launches into another early morning commute already running behind after smashing a mirror the day before, only to face the heavier task of finally putting down the family’s 14-year-old Jack Russell, Rosie. The little dog is on her last leg, and while his youngest daughter’s birthday looms this weekend, Kid admits his top priority in life is avoiding sadness at all costs—protecting himself from the inevitable heartbreak that comes with loving anything, be it pets or people.

He drifts from that raw admission into a winding love letter to 80s technology and pop culture, tracing the journey from vinyl and reel-to-reel tapes through cassettes and CDs to today’s frictionless, data-gobbling AI era. Along the way he weaves in freeway cloverleaf nightmares, Trump commentary, freezing Michigan May weather, and his future plans for a full silver- ...