Oh man, I've got some stuff to say today...

• I actually met Bork...and I have the meaning of "Bork." It's a Birthday Boy Exclusive!

• Freddy Fist Bump and I talking shop at the grocery store

• Killing Mosquitos in mid-air is so satisfying

• Giving up Subway seats to kids...WTF?!

• Paranoia about everything

• Andy Williams and Johnny Mathis are fucking terrible

• More ranting about how stupid we are for spending $5B to feed birds

• Uncle Klif (the original) calls Klif about his new Oatmeal Restaurant

And TONS more!