When I first studied Imago Relationship Therapy, now almost 30 years ago, its brilliant founder, Harville Hendrix, taught me many new ways of thinking about things. He steered us away from the idea of “compromise,” where it seemed no one would be satisfied in a lasting or resilient way. Rather, he taught us the concept of both partners “stretching” toward the other: moving gently beyond my own paradigm toward that of my partner, to resolve a disconnect or conflict. I have retained that concept over all these years.

Stretching my body? Well, not so much! I always hated stretching, had no use for anything but cardio activity. I barely tolerated the brief stretching routine we had to do on group bike rides. I wanted nothing more than to move. I suppose I was chronically “running from a tiger.” Now with strange, admittedly limiting and painful  ...