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What happens when the legal system becomes another layer of abuse?
In this fierce and validating conversation, Davina sits down with Lisa Johnson, co-founder of Been There Got Out, to talk about the devastating realities of toxic relationships, high-conflict divorce, and the legal gaslighting survivors face when they try to break free.
Lisa’s mission is personal—and practical. She shares how Been There Got Out equips survivors to protect themselves, document their abuse, navigate the courts, and stay sane through systems designed to destabilize.
This isn’t just about emotional abuse—it’s about the intersection of trauma, parenting, the law, and power. Whether you’re in it, through it, or supporting someone who is, this episode will leave you feeling seen, informed, and ready to advocate.
🔍 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:
03:44 – Client success story: from courtroom survivor to attorney for others
05:15 – Why the family court system retraumatizes survivors
07:28 – What makes a relationship “high conflict” (and who actually causes it)
10:33 – Legal gaslighting, coercive control, and the exhaustion of proof
13:22 – Lisa’s journey from survivor to system disruptor
16:10 – Tips for documenting abuse and preparing for court
19:45 – The emotional whiplash of parenting with a toxic ex
22:50 – How Been There Got Out helps clients stay steady through chaos
26:16 – The importance of peer support when the professionals don’t get it
29:38 – Why healing begins with being believed
32:44 – When friends and therapists miss the red flags
36:10 – The sanity-saving power of shared language and community
38:25 – What Lisa wishes every survivor knew about the “other side”
41:12 – How to find and follow Lisa + Been There Got Out
44:05 – Davina shares her own secondhand witness story
46:30 – Future collabs, podcast swaps, and staying loud together
🧠 Connect with Lisa + Been There Got Out
🌐 Website
📘 Book — Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce & How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances
🎧 Podcast
💥 The System Is Hard. You Don’t Have To Do It Alone.
If you’re navigating toxic coparenting, legal trauma, or emotional recovery, SHIFT is here for you. You don’t need permission to reclaim your voice.
🔥 Join the SHIFT: asteadyspace.com/parental-shift
📞 Book a Clarity Call: asteadyspace.com/clarity
💬 Follow the journey: @asteadyspace