He emerged from a giant egg wearing a Windows 95 crop top.

Jordana Freydberg knows way too much about Eurovision scoring, the fifty-fifty split between expert juries and a public vote you can buy your way into, the “Big Five” who are grandfathered into the final by how much they pay the European Broadcasting Union, and the 1974 UK jury that famously gave ABBA’s “Waterloo” zero points.