I think this is partly responsible for why I haven’t been active on social media platforms. There are experiences of disempowerment I’ve felt, which aren’t unique to this relationship. I used to think this was because of past relationship experiences that were less than ideal, and perhaps the fears and pain that they brought. But I am beginning to suspect that it might be the nature of heterosexual relationships in the context of today’s society. I realise now that even in a healthy relationship, I’ll probably always feel some level of disempowerment because of the broader societal context in which our relationship exists.

I thought I could escape some of those because of my political and social awareness, but I realise now that my upbringing and conditioning is much stronger than I realised. And the broader societal norms have far m ...