Soft Rebellion

Soft Rebellion

di Zintathu Mazamane
Stagione 1
Being in a Relationship With a Man Feels Disempowering. Yes, He’s Loving and Supportive But Still.
I think this is partly responsible for why I haven’t been active on social media platforms. There are experiences of disempowerment I’ve felt, which aren’t unique to this relationship. I used to think this was because of past relationship experiences that were less than ideal, and perhaps the fears and pain that they brought. But I am beginning to suspect that it might be the nature of heterosexual relationships in the context of today’s society. I realise now that even in a healthy relationship, I’ll probably always feel some level of disempowerment because of the broader societal context in which our relationship exists. I thought I could escape some of those because of my political and social awareness, but I realise now that my upbringing and conditioning is much stronger than I realised. And the broader societal norms have far more impact on a relationship dynamic than I care to admit. Still, I haven’t given up on love and the quest to find a relationship that feels equal and empowering. I don’t know if it’s possible. I hope it is.
How Church Made Me the Perfect Victim of Abuse: Age Gap Relationships, Blind Obedience and Desiring Marriage
I wish I had more time to delve deeper into this but I was taking my dog out for a walk so I had to rush. But this recording captures my thoughts about the role churches play in perpetuating women’s abuse. Obviously, this isn’t always applicable but is something I’ve observed growing up and even to this day. I also started thinking this way because I listened to a podcast about falling birth rates in some parts of the world because of women’s protest against men’s oppression and violent behaviours. South Korea being one example of this. But thinking about how church promote the idea to procreate, I could say with almost certainty that populations will never disappear completely because this is something we advocate. I think this is part of the reason red pill men and have returned to religion as a tool to control women’s bodies, while feeling a sense of superiority. Now, like I said, this isn’t always the case or applicable everywhere. But I do see enough exposure that I wish churches would speak on this and educate their congregants against the potential pitfalls of their religious preachings
I Bring Emotional Baggage and My Dog to the Table: The Discomfort of a New Relationship
I needed to talk to my friend first before I could post this episode. The fact that I recorded it a week ago, and today I had the most emotional day ever and guy showed me so much love and support is the reason why I’m gonna be a male(him)-centred pick me🤧. Sonqeni! The cliches about how he makes me wanna cook for him among other acts of service are sadly true. And this is hard to admit because I don’t like the idea of actually really liking and even loving a man. I am also very scared of embarrassment. I’ve experienced it too many times, especially when you start raving. But I also don’t want to live in fear that things might not workout or that this is not real or that it will end in tears. Whatever valid reasons I have to be fearful, I have also have an equal number of reasons to be excited, enjoy this and stay optimistic because I actually really want partnership. I think it makes me better, or at least pushes me to look after myself more and in turn, have a better quality of life.
What We Don’t Say About Rural Upbringing: Violence, Fear, Death and Survivors Guilt
This trip home really brought up a lot of childhood memories I had long forgotten about growing up in rural areas. Often, I think about my time there quite fondly. I romanticise it. But it occurred to me that I have been romanticising my experiences a lot, and it may have been in part, a survival tactic and the other part because the rural Eastern Cape is the only home I know. I’m sure there’s a few of us who have survived some experience or period in our lives. My intention for this episode is that we reflect on how far we’ve come and how much distance we’ve put between our current life and the one we lived before. To be proud of that even in the process of striving for more. And more importantly, to think about ways in which we can help those left behind to follow in our footsteps and survive.
The Cost of Love is Heartbreak: My Dog is Sick, Work Is Throwing Hands and I Think I Got Dumped?
I’m only posting this because my dog is fine. He hasn’t fully recovered yet but it’s the most positive improvement I’ve seen in 8 days. That has brought me so much relief. I really thought I’d lose him and I don’t know what I would have done. But the cost of love is getting your heart broken. Does this mean I would have been better off not loving at all or being haunted by memories of loving him when he was alive? I don’t know, and right, I’m so glad that I don’t have to find out.
What my Dog Taught Me About Femininity and Sexuality, and Why They Exist For Our Own Pleasure and Not For Men!
This has plagued me so much, but ASI articulated it so well for me I wish I could attach a link to that video. Our femininity is natural and it doesn’t exist for women’s pleasure but our own. It is unfortunate for me that some of that femininity has been dulled down by the negative perceptions of those around me. I realise that it was out of fear and in some way, was intended for my benefit. But it caused more harm than good. I think an open conversation about what they were afraid of would have helped more than the fear mongering. It was also very confusing to think something that came so naturally to me, that I hadn’t been taught, could be so wrong or carry a negative stigma. I imagine those feelings are a fraction of what gays, lesbians and others within the LGBTQIA+ community feel about their existence. We seriously need to start talking to each other and having open conversations with younger generations if anything is to change.
Forget Social Media Paralysis, Be Cringey! We’re All Going to Die Anyway.
I’ve come across so many people on social media who are afraid to be seen - to be seen trying something in case they fail, to be seen commenting on other people’s posts, and to even post on their profiles. Some of these people are close to me and yet experience these fears because of public opinion. While I understand some of it, I am concerned about the cost of not trying because of fear. The opportunities of connection, and of progress that fear steals because without motion, we stay exactly in the same position. But here’s what I learnt - none of it matters. We must each free ourselves from the fear of being perceived because none of us are making it out of here alive. We’re all doomed! The world is doomed and on fire like I shared in the previous episode. The moral high ground that society has established for us isn’t real. It is meant to control us or for us to become compliant and toe the line. But the same rules do not apply to those who make them. So I hope this knowledge freed you from these shackles of others’ opinions and emboldens you to live out freely, to show up, to be perceived and to not care for neither approval nor disapproval. Be cringe, and be unafraid to be yourself!
The World Is Burning! This Is How I Keep Hope Alive and You Can Too!
Esplicito
Saying that the world is doomed feels like an understatement. I am very concerned by recent events/ revelations regarding the Epstein files, and the lengths those in authority have gone to protect the elite and most powerful members of society. Knowing that we live in a world that breeds babies for torture and subsequent consumption of their flesh and blood makes me feel like any attempt to be a decent human are futile . What is the point when such people go unpunished? When these are entrusted to make decisions for us all? When decisions made by those in power across all spheres seem committed to our collective doom, without our consent in the matter. I feel paralysed by the weight of it all, and helpless to what appears to be inevitable. But today I am reminded that small consistent actions of rebellion can grow into tremors of impact in people’s lives. Although it may appear insignificant and minute, our agency over what is within our control matters and we can exercise that agency is soon and as often as possible. I am the living proof of this.
We Are Addicted to Noise and Destructions — This Is My Attempt to Reclaim My Time and Listen to Myself Again
I believe in checking in with myself to interrogate what I truly think and believe about life, who I want to be and how I’ll go about achieving that. This is especially important in a world that’s constantly field with inputs of other people’s thoughts and opinions, and a sensory overload that never gives us as a moment to breath. I’d even say that we’ve become so addicted to constantly filling space with noise that we can no longer sit still in silence without something to distract us in the background. I am concerned about this, and I ask that you take a moment to gradually remove these distractions so that you can listen to yourself more, and hear what you truly want, hope for and figure out how you’ll achieve it without operating on autopilot,
Our Friends are Evidence that We Are Lovable: Resolving Conflict Lovingly and with Kindness Despite the Fear of Another Friendship Breakup!
This episode was all over the place because I felt so much relief in the day I recorded it. I had just finished a difficult conversation with a friend, in which I had been the aggressor. Now I’m not used to being on that side and it was very uncomfortable. But she showed me so much grace, and also highlighted some of my blind spots that I hadn’t been aware of before. The entire conversation was eliminating. But my favourite part about it was how loving and kind the interaction was despite the difficulty and discomfort of the conversation. It truly became a blue print for how I wish to navigate conflict going forward. What is clear to me is that there was no room for ego, blame and defensiveness. We both spoke honestly and openly, taking accountability and apologised sincerely! This really was evidence that I’m not difficult to love. That what I want in a partner is possible because my friend modelled it to me.
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