Secret Life of Therapists | Podcast in RSS.com

Secret Life of Therapists

Secret Life of Therapists

di Dr. Habiba Jessica Zaman

Miglioramento personale Salute mentale

Stagione 4

Finding Purpose and Joy When the World is on Fire

In this deeply moving episode, the hosts tackle one of the most agonizing paradoxes of the human experience: how to survive a depressive episode, find a sense of purpose, and allow yourself to feel genuine joy while living through the terror and existential weight of war. Pulling from both clinical practice and historical psychological frameworks, the therapists discuss why collective trauma paralyzes us, how to break through wartime depression, and why choosing joy isn't a betrayal of those who are suffering—it is a vital act of resistance and survival.

Stagione 3

Outgrowing Your Outtakes: Why What Looked "Healthy" Then Is Dysfunctional Now

In this episode, the hosts pull back the curtain on a profound psychological trap: how our current level of personal healing dictates what we accept in relationships. When we are operating from unhealed wounds, we often mistake toxic or survival-based behaviors in others as "stable," "passionate," or "healthy." The hosts explore the disorienting, painful, but ultimately liberating moment when you heal enough to realize that the people and behaviors you once fought to accept were actually deeply dysfunctional. The loneliest part of therapy isn't discovering what's wrong with you. It’s the moment you get healthier than the system you built around your old self. Suddenly, relationships that used to feel cozy start to pinch. You aren't changing the rules on people; you're just finally seeing the board clearly. If you look back at a past relationship, or look at a current one, and feel a sudden wave of cringe or discomfort about what you used to tolerate, celebrate it. That discomfort is the direct evidence of your growth.

The Invisible Contract of Parenthood

Nobody prepared us for how much the world has to say about how we mother. Too soft. Too strict. Too career-focused. Too present. Too much. Not enough. The noise is relentless, and the hardest part? Some of it lives inside us, not out there. In this episode, we got into something that doesn't get spoken about honestly enough: the unspoken contract of motherhood. The one that says your needs come last. That sacrifice isn't just expected, it's the measure of how good a mother you are. As therapists, we've held space for so many mothers carrying this weight. Women who love their children fiercely and still grieve who they were before. Women who feel guilty for wanting something that belongs only to them. That guilt? It's not a character flaw. It's a symptom of a story we've been handed and never questioned. This episode is for every parent who has ever felt judged by others, by the internet, and most painfully, by herself.

The Legacy You Didn't Choose

Most people don't think about their legacy until something forces them to. A health scare. A milestone birthday. Watching a parent age. In our latest episode of Secret Life of Therapists, we unpacked something we rarely say out loud: legacy is less about what you build and more about who you become in the process of building it. As therapists, we see it constantly — high-achieving people who have everything on paper and still feel like they haven't left their mark. Not because they haven't done enough, but because they've been living someone else's definition of "enough." Your legacy is already in motion. The question is whether it's intentional.

The Anatomy of Cheating

Let’s talk about the anatomy of a betrayal. In this episode of Secret Life of Therapists, Dr. Habiba Zaman and Kaylan Maloney pull back the curtain on one of the most painful, messy, and complex relational hurdles: cheating. Going way beyond the surface-level “why did they do it?”, Habiba and Kaylan look at infidelity through both a clinical and deeply human lens. They unpack: -The psychological anatomy of betrayal and why it cuts so deep. -The messy intersection of desire, unmet needs, and poor boundaries. -What healing actually looks like, whether that means rebuilding the relationship or choosing to walk away. There are no polished scripts or neat answers here; just two therapists having the honest, uncomfortable conversation we usually only hear behind closed doors.

The Breakup Episode

Why does a breakup feel like actual, physical withdrawal?" In our latest episode of Secret Life of Therapists, Dr. Habiba Zaman and Kaylan Maloney are pulling back the curtain on the messy, exhausting, and beautifully human reality of heartbreak. If you’ve ever found yourself staring at your phone at 2 AM, wondering how you went from "forever" to strangers, this one is for you. Here is a sneak peek of what Habiba and Kaylan are breaking down today: The Heartbreak Brain: Why your brain treats a breakup exactly like quitting something addictive cold-turkey (and how to navigate the cravings). The "Closure" Myth: Why waiting for your ex to give you closure is keeping you stuck, and how to create it for yourself. The Post-Breakup Playbook: Practical, therapist-approved boundaries to set right now to protect your peace (yes, including the unfollow button). Whether you are fresh out of a relationship, processing an old wound, or supporting a friend through the trenches, let's normalize the fact that letting go is incredibly hard work.

I Couldn’t Tell You

What happens when the person trained to help others navigate trauma faces an unimaginable crisis of their own? What happens after you survive the medical crisis, return home, and realize the true battle has only just begun? In this incredibly raw and vital episode, we step outside the clinical space to talk with Sarah Deschamps, a former teacher, mother, and author of the internationally recognized Journey to Japan: A Life-Saving Memoir. Sarah is back with us to talk about her highly anticipated new book, I Couldn't Tell You: The True Story of a Mother and Daughter’s Journey to Overcome Their Mental Health Demons. After enduring years overseas, navigating her daughter’s severe physical illnesses and seven major surgeries, Sarah thought the worst was behind them. Instead, a new diagnosis triggered a deeply complicated wave of psychological trauma. Today, she opens up about the intersection of medical trauma and mental health, and the parallel unraveling of a mother and daughter trying to survive their own internal demons. What We Dive Into: The Aftermath of Trauma: Why the end of physical surgeries is often just the beginning of the psychological battle. The Teacher’s Mask: Balancing the demands of a classroom while secretly carrying a mountain of family trauma. Breaking the Silence: Overcoming the cultural and personal pressure to "keep things to yourself" and hide your pain. The Mother-Daughter Bond: How fighting for your child's life can wind a relationship too tightly, and how they are learning to heal together. "I did absolutely everything I could think of to give my daughter the best possible outcome. In the process, I lost myself, my marriage, and my mental health, but I didn't believe there was any other path." This episode is a heavy, beautiful, and profoundly honest look at the hidden toll of chronic illness on a family's mental health. If you are parenting through a crisis or fighting your own quiet battles, this conversation will make you feel seen.

When “Just Friends” Gets Complicated

In this episode of The Secret Life of Therapists Podcast, we take on a question that creates tension in many relationships but is rarely discussed openly: Can you have close friends of the opposite sex while in a committed partnership? We explore the difference between healthy friendships and emotional boundary crossings, how insecurity and past experiences shape reactions, and why clarity, transparency, and communication matter more than rigid rules. This conversation looks at trust, respect, emotional intimacy, and the unspoken expectations couples often carry into relationships. Rather than framing it as right or wrong, we offer a therapy-informed lens to help you evaluate what feels appropriate, safe, and aligned within your own relationship. Because the issue isn’t friendship, it’s boundaries, honesty, and how you protect the emotional space of your partnership.

Your Pace, Your Priorities, Your Life

In this episode of The Secret Life of Therapists Podcast, we explore how comparison quietly pulls us away from our values, and why that drift can leave us feeling anxious, behind, or never quite enough. We unpack how social comparison shows up in careers, relationships, parenting, appearance, and success, and how it can distort what actually matters to us. When we measure our lives against someone else’s highlight reel, we often lose sight of our own priorities, pace, and purpose. This conversation offers a grounded, therapy-informed look at how to notice when comparison is driving your decisions, reconnect with your personal values, and make choices that feel aligned rather than reactive. Because peace doesn’t come from catching up to others, it comes from coming back to yourself.

A Deck of Questions, A Lot of Insight

In this special Q&A episode of The Secret Life of Therapists Podcast, Dr. Habiba Zaman and Kaylan Maloney pull listener questions directly from the card deck Know Thyself and answer them in real time. Each prompt sparks an honest, unscripted conversation about relationships, emotional patterns, boundaries, self-awareness, and the inner work that shapes how we show up in the world. What unfolds is part therapy insight, part personal reflection, and part invitation for you to pause and consider your own answers alongside theirs. This episode feels less like an interview and more like sitting in the room with two therapists as they think out loud, unpack meaningful questions, and model the kind of curiosity that leads to real growth. Play along, reflect as you listen, and discover what your own answers might reveal.

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