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My Name is F-I-O-N-A
di Patricia Webster Stewart
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The Great Sock Roundup
"When my children were babies and stayed at home, they didn't object to wearing any two socks that fit. Once they went to school, they objected to wearing two socks that fit but didn't match."
French Cooking, American Style
"We lived on the economy. That means we shopped for everything in local stores and paid for it in francs. The man who hired my husband told him to think of it as camping for a year."
The Faces on the Wall
"These ancestors speak to me every day from that picture. I inherited these genes and see these strong people as role models for my life."
Does Cancer Cause Plagiarism?
"When Dailey was notified of the plagiarism, she had an explanation. She acknowledged copyright infringement, blaming the problem on a 'psychological disorder brought on by stress.'"
Becoming Sarah
"June 1: I weigh a pound now. I'm in the second trimester. My space keeps getting smaller and more cramped. I need more room, Mom. Kicking her doesn't seem to get enough attention for my space problem."
A Life-Changing Experience
"A group of volunteers worked on the home of Willie, an elderly man displaced by Katrina, who was living in a FEMA trailer in his driveway. They were tearing out everything down to the studs."
Father Sebastian's Day Off
"When I saw Father at 10 P.M. he was putting trash into a hopper. He told me, 'This is my day off. I still have to put the finishing touches on the eight-page newsletter to go out tomorrow.'"
Legal Sodomy
"A sigmoidoscopy is an acceptable medical procedure paid for by insurance, right? It came as close to my vision of sodomy as I would ever want to experience. Not quite! the doctor wanted 'further study.'"
Summer Heat
"We had no hope of ever getting air conditioning. The best we had were fans, the oscillating kind that mostly blew hot air around."
Carrot Salad
"It was the kind of place where one could always see the local police come from lunch with the regulars. Hank catered to the local politicians, who came daily to mingle with the good old boys."
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