Why I Write
Tom and the Killer Icicle
Grossmutter
Keeping My Eye on the Hydrant
Who Is Stuck in Your Family Tree?
Cruising on the Danube
Joe, the Patriotic Camel
Jesse, Elvis and Jesse
The Car Wash Robot
Ode to a Retired General
1 di 7
"In the seventh and eighth grade, my teacher assigned "composition" writing. Write a paper on an assigned subject. That was the spark that ignited my passion for writing. I loved those assignments."
"By the end of March, the growing icicle was rooted to the ground. It was ten inches around and was beginning to pull the gutter away from the house. Joe worried about it constantly."
"It seems that while in St. Joseph's Hospital her leg broke off! Grossmutter spoke no English, so she did what came to her mind. She threw the leg under the bed."
"I was at a loss on how to be as patriotic as the big spenders at the mall until I saw the headline in the paper. The Upstate water system is asking citizens to watch for suspicious activity near fire hydrants."
"Around the turn of the century, he left Missouri and was working on the train between Omaha and Salt Lake City. He may have been working as a baker, but the family believes he may have been just doing odd jobs. According to the death record, he died in Salt Lake City of a broken neck."
"Bicycles are protected to such an extent that if a pedestrian in a bike path gets in the way of a biker and the biker is harmed, that person can sue the pedestrian. I didn't get sued, but I got a threat from a baker when I was run down by his bike."
"It's one of those government contract beauties. It pays really big and you'd be a hero. Just go to the meeting and listed to what he has to say. He's desperate for a good outcome in Afghanistan to leave office with a great legacy."
"What you don't know is that your Daddy was Jesse James. You have probably heard of him from the other kids at school. When he died, we left St. Joe and kept the Howard name."
"After this, I worked on my systems until I could stall out a car by zapping its control system. One day I put down the windows on a car with a lady and her baby in it. Before Mama realized what was happening, I had sprayed soapy water over her and the baby."
"The field surgeon gave him a check-up. Yep, he needed a new ticker. The price of replacing his ticker would cost a prohibitive amount, almost as expensive as an organ replacement."