Making Sense of Parenting

Making Sense of Parenting

di Kelly K Shoup
Relazioni genitorialiCristianità

Ep. #33 - How-Tos for a Better Holiday - Part II: Holidays at Home

In this second part of Kelly's series on How-Tos for a Better Holiday, Kelly focuses on ways to make parents and children have a better home-based holiday experience. With communication, allowing children to have a say and parents having presence with their children, the holidays at home can be a wonderful time. “The magic of Christmas is you: your presence.” - Kelly Shoup Welcome back to the Making Sense of Parenting podcast! In the last episode, Kelly talked about multiple ways to improve the holidays when you’re traveling with young children. Today, Kelly is showing you how to improve your holiday experience right in your own home. She begins with the foundation of any good relationship: communication. As moms, we have our to-do list so firmly implanted in our minds, that sometimes we don’t realize that no-one else knows the plan. Kelly is encouraging moms to communicate all of the family holiday events clearly, whether verbally or through sticky-notes. But don’t just communicate the schedule - let’s talk boundaries, too! Are you changing up your routine this holiday season? Will it be affecting your attendance at a family member’s event? Let them know well in advance, to remove any last-minute drama from your holiday experience. Should you bring homemade cookies to an event, or settle for store-bought? Is it okay to visit Santa Claus with your little ones? Kelly is helping you create a holiday that caters to the age and stage of your children this year, instead of hoping for a holiday that is only possible with older kids. Let your five-year-old give her teacher the brownies she made, even if she forgot to put the egg in the recipe. Let your toddler decorate the bottom half of the tree with homemade ornaments. Let your three-year-old wrap a gift his own way. Embrace the mess! But most of all? Be present. Let your children know that you’re really there, seeing them, hearing them, loving them right where they are, in all their child-like glory. It’s the best Christmas gift you can give them. Links Website Instagram Free Consult Call Sensory Profile Quiz Monthly Membership One-on-One Coaching
E33
21 mar 2023
33:37

Ep. #32 - How-Tos for a Better Holiday - Part I: Traveling Over the Holidays

Are you traveling with young children over the holidays? Then this episode is for you! Today, Kelly is offering tips to parents who feel nervous about traveling with young kids, and it all begins with managing expectations. Where are you traveling? How long are you staying? How old are your kids? A successful trip hinges on the answers to these and other questions that Kelly is asking you today. “I don’t call it a vacation… I like to call it a memory-making adventure.” - Kelly Shoup ‘Vacation’ implies relaxation - maybe the first way to improve your expectations is to replace that word with a more accurate term, like “memory-making adventure.” Kelly also suggests that you keep the environment similar to your usual environment at home. Rent a house rather than a hotel room. Keep your child’s nap schedule intact. Choose a twenty-minute adventure over a day-long escapade. Feed the kids meals they already know and love. It might be more work, but if your child’s sensory system is at peace, you as the parent will enjoy the experience so much more. Did you know that there are websites that will rent baby gear? Simplify your packing and enhance the ease of your trip by renting strollers and highchairs when you arrive at your destination! In every endeavor, take the ages and stages of your kids into consideration: talk with your spouse and create a plan that respects their needs and limitations. And communicate beforehand with your loved ones! Does Grandma want you to attend eight events? Explain your limitations and tell her that you’ll prioritize her top two. Does a long-lost college friend want you to drive over and visit with her? Ask her to come to you over naptime, to heighten your chances of getting those quality conversations you’re both craving. It is completely possible for the parents of young children to enjoy a trip - it just requires a little bit of creative pre-gaming. Travel Links BabyQuip Baby’s Away Rents 4 Baby Babylist Links Website Instagram Free Consult Call Sensory Profile Quiz Monthly Membership One-on-One Coaching
E32
21 mar 2023
33:16

Ep. #31 - Ways to Foster Inclusion and Ease this Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! Today, Kelly is discussing some best practices surrounding holiday prep, and giving parents concrete ways to foster inclusion among their children and to ease the burden of hosting events with little ones. If you’re worried about the holidays, fear not: Kelly is offering achievable pre-game strategies for the season - or any other big event with kids! “The imperfections make it perfect.” - Kelly Shoup As parents, we want the perfect Thanksgiving: we imagine swirling cursive name cards and perfectly baked pies. But for just a moment, ask Martha Stewart to take a back seat and imagine your six-year-old’s pipe-cleaner napkin rings, or the backwards P on Grandpa’s name card. Picture a Thanksgiving where your four-year-old tells the guests where to put their purses and coats, and the paper placemats are decorated with stickers and a child’s little gratitudes. Is it possible that the memory of the messiness might someday be more important than the crisp white tablecloths and tapers you’ve seen in magazines? Kelly isn’t just thinking about kid crafts, though. She also has great tips on communicating the needs of your children with your family and friends, discussing health issues or expectations beforehand, and how to gently correct a child’s mistakes without embarrassing her in front of guests. In this one episode, Kelly is offering you the recipe for a perfectly imperfect Thanksgiving - one that you’ll savor for years to come. Links Website Instagram Free Consult Call Sensory Profile Quiz Monthly Membership One-on-One Coaching
E31
21 mar 2023
32:04

Ep. #30 - Is it a Sensory Thing or a Behavioral Thing or Both?

In today’s episode, Kelly is asking the question: is your child’s meltdown a sensory issue or a behavioral issue? Here’s the short answer: it’s both. Beginning with dictionary definitions of “behavior” and “sensory,” Kelly is defining the link that inevitably exists between what a child senses and how he expresses it physically. Once this link is understood, both the parent and the child are equipped to show up well in their interactions with each other and the world. “We aren’t going for ‘perfect:’ we’re going for ‘pretty good’ behavior.” - Kelly Shoup Listen in as Kelly describes the many, many ways that the sensory system is processing information. She explains the way the nervous system informs the sensory system, and how each of our brains is hardwired to receive information in a unique way. Even the extent of our life experience can impact the way our sensory system responds to stimuli. A sensory-seeking child may look like he’s misbehaving, but he’s just trying to regulate himself in the only way he knows how. To highlight these points, Kelly creates a scenario - you want to connect with your friend at a high school football game, and you’re bringing your inexperienced three-year-old with you. Here are three questions to ask yourself: 1. What is the objective? (Connecting with your friend? Exposing your child to football?) 2. How is your child’s interoceptive sense? (Has he slept recently? Eaten? Is he warm enough?) 3. What is his sensory profile? (Is he more sensitive in sight? Hearing? Touch?) With Kelly’s guidance, this episode is an excellent opportunity for parents to learn the ways they can help their child behave well, while also achieving their own personal objective: watching high school football with a good friend. Links Website Instagram Free Consult Call Monthly Membership One-on-One Coaching
E30
21 mar 2023
27:51

Ep. #29 - Are You Controlling or Creating Connection?

Today, Kelly is asking parents this question: Are you operating from control or creating connection in your relationships with your children? And if the answer was “operating from control,” no judgement! But you’re definitely going to want to hear this episode - it’s a good one. “God created (your children) to want their own independence, to want a choice, to want a say, to live from their uniqueness.” - Kelly Shoup Welcome to Episode 29 of the Making Sense of Parenting Podcast. As moms, we have a natural ability to keep track of multiple things at once - schedules, appointments, menus, illnesses - but this ability can initiate a tendency to control everything. Control is an action born from fear, and it causes kids to push back and fight harder for their God-given need for autonomy. Throughout this episode, Kelly is inviting moms and dads both to release a moment of control to discover a lifetime of connection with their kids.How does controlling feel in your body? What if you could inspire the behavior you want through connection, instead of condemning the behavior you don’t want through consequences? Kelly talks about the behavior that society demands of very young children, who are not naturally made to behave perfectly all of the time. She emphasizes the importance of the ages three to eight, and explains that connection helps you enjoy the entire process of your parenting journey: not just the result. With helpful tips on implementing connection and a quick sketch of what the first few weeks of implementation might look like, this is the best episode for the exhausted parent who is longing for more peace in parenting. Links Website Instagram Free Consult Call Monthly Membership One-on-One Coaching
E29
17 mar 2023
32:31

Ep. #28 - The Heart of Parenting

In this episode Kelly looks to the true heart of parenting and the very unique and God-given role that a mother plays in raising children. “There are more neural pathways going from the heart up to the brain than the brain to the heart.” Do you ever think that your heart has a mind of its own? You might be surprised to learn that you’re not far from the truth. In this episode, Kelly is explaining what the brain and the heart have in common, and how that very trait can lead heads and hearts in different directions in parenting. And if you’re a mom listening to this episode, Kelly has a special appeal to you: be open to working from your heart instead of your head. It’s your God-given, feminine superpower. Have you heard of heart coherence and heart connection? Kelly explains why these qualities of the heart are vital to parenting, and encourages mothers to explore what this might mean in their interactions with their children. What if you shifted your parenting from control to connection? How might that change your daily experience with your children? In a world that is constantly feeding our brains with information on how to raise our children, it is easy to lose sight of what our hearts might be trying to tell us. What if you weren’t parenting like that mom on Instagram or the author of that parenting book? What if you were parenting like YOU? What if your natural temperament and tendencies were what your children needed? This episode is a beautiful opportunity to explore the possibilities of your own unique version of parenting. From Bible verses to practical tips, Kelly is ready with a wealth of wisdom for the parent who is ready to shift the weight of parenting from the head to the heart. Links Website Instagram Free Consult Call Monthly Membership One-on-One Coaching
E28
15 mar 2023
27:33

Ep. #27 - Trouble Making Sense of Your Child’s Behavior? Part VII: Interoceptive Sense

This episode is the seventh and final part of the Trouble Making Sense of Your Child's Behavior series. Kelly digs into the lesser known interoceptive sense or internal body awareness. “I've been helping parents with what the sensory system looks like for over twenty years, so we can pretty quickly collect clues from how your child is acting.” - Kelly Shoup Welcome to Part 7 of the Sensory System series! Today, Kelly is discussing the final sense - the interoceptive sense, otherwise known as internal body awareness. Are you hot, cold, itchy, thirsty, hungry, or full? Your interoceptive sense is speaking to you! Does your child tell you that they need to go to the bathroom, while simultaneously having an accident? Then this episode is for you: today, Kelly is teaching you how to work with a child who may have some limitations in their interoceptive sense. Parents will ask Kelly, “Is this a sensory issue or a behavioral issue?” The truth is, a sensory issue can become a behavioral issue. A child who becomes used to wetting the bed accidentally may start accepting that they wet the bed every night, and stop trying to get up and go to the potty. This sense can also affect emotional regulation: a child who can’t feel that they need to go to the bathroom might also not be able to articulate that they’re feeling scared or anxious, which could lead to emotional outbursts. Does your child seem invincible? Maybe they scrape their knee and handle it like a champ, but then a tickle fight leads to tears. Again, the interoceptive sense may have a kink that needs to be worked out. Listen in as Kelly explains how the interoceptive sense affects self-regulation - that constant struggle for all humans to get to a place where they feel calm and safe. She’s also explaining the connection between the nervous system and the sensory system, and why both need to be in a good place before a child can engage well in their daily life. If the situations discussed in this episode sound familiar, check out the links below! Kelly is ready and waiting to be your guide on this journey with your kiddo. Links Website Instagram Free Consult Call Sensory Profile Quiz Monthly Membership
E27
14 mar 2023
24:52

Ep. #26 - Trouble Making Sense of Your Child’s Behavior Part VI: Taste and Smell

In this episode Kelly continues the series on Trouble Making Sense of Your Child's Behavior. In part VI, Kelly tackles the taste and smell sensory system of children. “God put them here for His purpose for them, and they are built with an automatic system to keep them safe.” - Kelly Shoup Welcome to Part 6 of the Sensory System series! Today, Kelly is talking about two closely-connected senses: taste and smell. She’s not only explaining the sensitivities behind your child’s behavior toward food and smells, but she’s also offering multiple solutions and strategies to face these behaviors with confidence. By the end of this podcast, you will feel equipped to be a parent who knows how to work in collaboration with who your child truly is. And these actions won’t just improve yours and your child’s life now: they’ll pay dividends throughout your child’s adult life. Most of us were told as children to “Eat everything on your plate, or else!” But Kelly is turning this popular reprimand on its head and explaining why it’s actually wiser not to make your child eat food they don’t want to eat. She’s also discussing why fresh baked cookies sell houses, how over-responders and under-responders react to taste and smell, and why you might want to ask Grandma to blow out her scented candles. The final moments of the podcast are a treasure-trove of wisdom, as Kelly shares multiple tips and tricks to keep your sensitive kiddo feeling safe and seen by you. From choosing the best time to expose them to new scents and flavors, to advocating for them while you’re visiting family and friends, you’ll learn to be the superhero they need you to be. And if that doesn’t interest you, at least stick around to hear about “snake bites” and “no-thank-you bites.” It’s definitely worth it! . Reach out to Kelly! Website Instagram Free Consult Call Sensory Profile Quiz Monthly Membership (This includes a food webinar to help you with the sensitivities discussed in this podcast.)
E26
14 mar 2023
40:38

Ep. #25 - Trouble Making Sense of Your Child’s Behavior Part V: Touch/Tactile Sense

Continuing the Trouble Making Sense of Your Child's Behavior series, Kelly moves to Part V and focuses on the Touch/Tactile sense of children. “Kids need to know that they can count on their parents to have their needs met, to feel safe. ” -Kelly Shoup Do you feel like your child’s behavior is out of control? In today’s episode, Kelly is discussing the sense of touch, and how it relates to your child’s behavior. Believe it or not, this isn’t a behavioral issue: your child is simply learning to regulate their sensory system. And the good news? You can help them accomplish that with a few simple adjustments. Does your son leave a mess around his mouth after eating? Does your daughter refuse to hug Grandma? Maybe your child is the first boy in several generations who doesn’t want to keep up the family tradition of playing football. Or your daughter acts like a magical Color Run is her personal idea of Hell. Kelly is addressing all of these scenarios, and more. Beginning with a quick review of the sensory system, Kelly discusses the God-given uniqueness of each child, and explains why touch can be a sensitive area for some children. She also identifies the difference between an over-responder and an under-responder: an insight that can change the outlook of a confused, frustrated parent. Best of all, Kelly has a few simple, practical tips to help you guide your child to interact well with the world around him, effectively eliminating his discomfort while still creatively achieving your own hoped-for goals as a parent. Reach out to Kelly! Instagram Sensory Profile Quiz Monthly Membership
E25
13 mar 2023
34:53

Ep. #24 - Trouble Making Sense of Your Child’s Behavior Part IV: Vestibular/Movement Sense

Continuing the Making Sense of Your Child’s Behavior series, Part IV, Kelly focuses on the vestibular/movement sense. The vestibular sense is linked to the inner ear. As a general rule children’s bodies need more vestibular stimulation or input to their sensory system than adults do. Children who have a “hiccup” with their vestibular system can sometimes be labeled as being a troublemaker, being out of control or needing firmer discipline from the parents. When in reality, the child is simply seeking proper input for that vestibular sense. The vestibular system contributes to balance and our sense of where the body is in space. The vestibular system works with our auditory and visual inputs, so our eyes and our hearing work to give accurate information to the brain about what the body is doing. The vestibular needs of a child are in direct relation to whether they are an under-responder or an over-responder with their sensory system. An under-responder (a sensory-seeker) will need more vestibular input, more movement. The over-responder is movement sensitive, so only a small amount of movement is alarming to the nervous system. Understanding these sensory systems is very important for parents because if something is off in the child’s sensory system it can cause the child to act out with some behavior that is not ill-intentioned but because their body is automatically responding to what is going on inside them. But with the proper understanding and tools, parents can be prepared. Kelly will help give you the information and strategies you need so that you can help your child develop and find the purpose that God has for them. Reach out to Kelly! Instagram Sensory Profile Quiz Monthly Membership Please subscribe to the podcast YouTube Apple Podcasts Spotify
E24
6 feb 2023
37:51
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