Here's Your Red Flag

di Toni and Lisa

Stagione 1

Introductory Episode: Here's Your Red Flag Podcast

This introductory episode lays the groundwork for the podcast's first season developed by two friends who share a passion for decoding narcissism and toxic behaviors as they are both healing from and prevailing over abusive past relationships. It is their hope through this podcast that they can reach others who are looking for insightful and empathetic conversation on the journey to healing from narcissistic and toxic abuse. This is a podcast of self discovery. We’ll be talking about personal freedom, safety, security, and strength while embracing our inner voice, recognizing and honoring our gut instinct, accepting imperfection, showing grace to ourselves, and starting anew. They are both in industries that seek to help others find relief and a future of mental health and happiness. Toni is a Board Certified Life Coach and Lisa is a high school teacher completing her final year of her master’s in counseling. For more information please check out our website www.heresyourredflag.com. We are also on Facebook and Instagram. The content provided on this podcast is for informational purposes only.

21 set 2022

17:46

Bonus Episode from Toni and Lisa's Show Prep for Episodes 4 and 5

Bonus

Sometimes some good stuff comes out in the planning. Enjoy!

11 ott 2022

8:01

Isolated, Conditioned and Hardwired: Lisa on the Effects of having a Narcissistic Father and Step Father

Our personalities and relationship preferences are partly genetic and partly environmental. In this first episode, Lisa explains some of her childhood experiences, specifically her relationships with father figures, which hardwired the first forty-plus years of her life and led to love addiction and codependency. For more information please check out our website heresyourredflag.com. We are also on Facebook and Instagram. The content provided on this podcast is for informational purposes only.

S1 · E1

21 set 2022

55:26

Primed for Abuse: Lisa on the Years of Emotional and Psychological Abuse She Suffered in Her Marriage to a Narcissist

Lisa discusses her initial attraction to her second husband, "#2." She details the years of emotional and psychological abuse she suffered in their 7 year marriage and the many red flags she ignored. Trigger warning: this episode contains instances of severe abuse, please listen with care. If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave a 5 star review--we would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we are also on Facebook and Instagram. The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

S1 · E2

24 set 2022

57:49

The Abuse Turned Physical: Lisa Details the Escalating Tension in Her 7 Year Marriage to a Narcissist

Lisa details the escalating tension in her 7 year marriage with #2. Trigger warning: this episode contains instances of severe abuse, please listen with care. If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave a 5 star review. You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we are also on Facebook and Instagram. The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

S1 · E3

30 set 2022

41:54

The Scales Fell Off My Eyes: Lisa on Why She Stayed So Long and How She Found the Courage and Way Out of Her Abusive Marriage to a Narcissist

Trigger warning: this episode contains instances of physical abuse that may be difficult for some listeners. The episode begins with Toni providing some context of what it looked like on the outside of this cult of two between Lisa and #2. Lisa continues her story of what her life was like living with an abusive spouse. She details several instances of the accelerating psychological, emotional and physical abuse that she endured prior to becoming aware that she was, in fact, a victim of domestic abuse. She lays out for listeners why she stayed so long and how she found the courage and way out of that abusive relationship. If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we are also on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

S1 · E4

7 ott 2022

1:19:46

Enough! Lisa on Filing for Divorce, No Contact, and Filing for a Protection Order Against Her Abusive, Narcissistic Ex Husband

Lisa wraps up her story about leaving an abusive marriage. The abuse was increasing in frequency and intensity making the marriage very unsafe. She mentions the benefits of contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline and how they assisted her in developing a safety plan and exit strategy. Upon informing #2 that she was divorcing him and wanted no further communication, he persisted in harassing and maybe even stalking her. This prompted her to obtain a protective order for her and her children’s safety. Though the road has been anything but easy, Lisa now lives a life of freedom from fear, control, and manipulation. If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we are also on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

S1 · E5

14 ott 2022

1:01:13

The Nuts and Bolts of Narcissism, Part 1

Episode 6 begins with Toni and Lisa laying the foundation of narcissism and abuse by describing and discussing: the Four Main Needs of a Narcissist (Power, Control, Manipulation and Admiration), The Three Es of Narcissists (Empathy, Entitlement, and Exploitation), The Cycle of Abuse (Tension, Incident, Reconciliation, and Calm), The Dizzying Cycle of Narcissism (Idealize, Devalue, Discard and Hoovering), and an explanation of the Cluster B Personality Disorders. They take a deep dive into the most common buzzwords and concepts of narcissism using personal examples in their discussion. Hopefully gaining a knowledge of these concepts will help in the identification of red flags in relationships. This episode is a great primer or refresher of these terms for listeners and us! If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we are also on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org Boundaries, Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by John Townsend, Henry Cloud, et al. The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope by Leslie Veronica A Glossary Of Narcissistic Slang Terms https://abusewarrior.com/abuse/a-glossary-of-narcissistic-slang-terms/ 50+ Crazy Gaslighting Phrases Narcissists Say – Direct From Survivors https://abusewarrior.com/abuse/gaslighting-phrases/ Narcissism 101: A Glossary of Terms for Understanding the Madness https://narcissistfamilyfiles.com/2017/09/19/narcissism-101-a-glossary-of-terms-for-understanding-the-madness/ 20 Narcissistic Terms: A Glossary Of Terms For Understanding Narcissism by Anne McCrea https://themindsjournal.com/twenty-common-terms-in-the-world-of-narcissism/

S1 · E6

21 ott 2022

1:11:30

The Nuts and Bolts of Narcissism, Part 2

Toni and Lisa pick up where they left off last week discussing the main buzzwords and concepts of narcissism and toxic relationships. This episode focuses first on buzzwords from the devalue and discard stages including the silent treatment, isolation, gaslighting, triangulation, flying monkeys, smear campaign, "hoovering" and other concepts. They briefly discuss the "cult of two" that exists in a narcissistic relationship. They also discuss the two key strategies of grey rock and no contact for surviving and existing with toxic people. They conclude with a conversation on the lack of closure after leaving a toxic relationship and how we can create our own closure. Learning more about these concepts may help in the identification of red flags in potentially toxic relationships. Episodes 6 and 7 are a great primer or refresher of these terms for listeners and us! Resources and links mentioned in this episode: 'I felt as if I was dead to her': The psychological cost of the silent treatment by Alia E. Dastagir https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2022/04/07/silent-treatment-how-its-defined-when-its-abuse-and-how-deal/9492221002/ Is Silent Treatment a Form of Abuse? Here’s What to Know by Kelly Burch https://www.verywellhealth.com/silent-treatment-abuse-5219934 Six Warning Signs of Isolation and Emotional Abuse https://www.therapycts.com/blog/2020/11/11/six-warning-signs-of-isolation-and-emotional-abuse A Glossary Of Narcissistic Slang Terms https://abusewarrior.com/abuse/a-glossary-of-narcissistic-slang-terms/ 50+ Crazy Gaslighting Phrases Narcissists Say – Direct From Survivors https://abusewarrior.com/abuse/gaslighting-phrases/ Narcissism 101: A Glossary of Terms for Understanding the Madness https://narcissistfamilyfiles.com/2017/09/19/narcissism-101-a-glossary-of-terms-for-understanding-the-madness/ 20 Narcissistic Terms: A Glossary Of Terms For Understanding Narcissism by Anne McCrea https://themindsjournal.com/twenty-common-terms-in-the-world-of-narcissism/ If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

S1 · E7

28 ott 2022

1:24:17

Here's Your Red Flag List! Toni and Lisa on Red Flags to Watch for in Potential Narcissistic Relationships

Toni and Lisa have collected and compiled a very comprehensive list of red flags from their own experiences and research, and they are so excited to finally share these with listeners. This episode focuses on red flags to watch for in the early stages of a relationship, as the relationship progresses, and how toxic people display flags in general to others. If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you to join us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

S1 · E8

4 nov 2022

1:04:48

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