Three hours and fifty-six minutes… &#%!?!@ ME! Yes, that is the correct number of symbols. And yes, you will croak it ignorant of that which they substitute. Pluck mirth from ambiguity for once in your damned lives.

For the select many of you who scarcely acknowledge the existence of Lithuania, let alone scan its deci-county crime news, let alone peruse the lawless specifics of each municipality, let alone keep abreast of the felonious minutiae of each elderate (or seniūnija) - a little Googling goes a long way, you think I care? - Arturas Lanka has recidivised himself into the pen. This time, for compromising the constitutional integrity of some precious garden gnomes in a permanent fashion by means of mallet. I don’t know whose, what, why, I can only feign focus for so long.

Point is, Pfidze was in a right state. Faced with ...