Tamar never considered alcoholism a possibility. Drinking initially felt grounding and connective rather than escapist. Over time, it became essential for managing anxiety, grief, social interaction, and professional life in the arts world. The progression was gradual but unmistakable: secret drinking, carrying flasks, structuring life around alcohol availability, drinking during work hours, and rationalizing it all as part of a creative lifestyle. The turning point came when Tamar found herself swigging warm vodka from a stolen bottle at 9 a.m. in a closet and hearing an inner voice say, “You probably want to look at this.”

The pod then shifts into a deep exploration of recovery. In a wide-ranging conversation, we talk about emotional sobriety, spirituality versus religion, ego, slogans, and the meaning of surrender. Tamar describes recove ...