Chapter 1 - All Hands

A mandatory meeting, dear listener. Nine hundred badges, one auditorium, and a calendar invite titled 'Exciting Update'. If you have ever worked anywhere, that title tells you everything and nothing at all.

The rumours are plentiful. The coffee is insufficient. Leadership has prepared a song about the journey ahead.

Settle in, dear listener, and listen closely. Some announcements say rather more than they intend to.