Hail Thetan! Despite Our Lawyer Advising Us Otherwise, We’re Crossing the Bridge, Getting In Touch With Our Thetan Roots and Enrolling in the World's Weirdest Correspondence Course: Scientology. The Guys Get Out of the Gate In a Brisk 15 Minutes Only to Jump the Rails Shortly Thereafter and Never Look Back. Debit Card Required, Intelligence Optional.

Standards: What’s In the Glass? Local Color (Ed or ED? FEMA Gives NC the Finger, These States Just Ain’t Right, Little Billy Loses His Phone), Flat Ending.

Tangents: Corrections (Yoda Old as Hell, Bamboo in Bhutan). Taxpayers Clean Up at the Curb. Duncan Puts A Paw on the Scale. You’re Reaching Here. Let the Panties Hit the Floor. Sleep For Days. Dinner at Dahmers Featuring Marilyn and Charles Manson. Horsebaby. ...