SHIFT Talking™

por Davina Hehn

Salud mental Relaciones

32: Are We Really Healing—or Just Performing Wellness?

Owning your healing journey isn’t about chasing a perfect version of yourself—it’s about getting honest, messy, and radically real about what growth actually feels like. In today’s episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on the hard truths we rarely talk about: how easy it is to fake progress, perform healing, and unintentionally gaslight ourselves out of real change. If you’ve ever wondered “am I really healing, or just acting like I am?”, this episode will help you gut-check yourself with love—and show you how to get back on a real, sustainable path forward. I’ll break down: 🔥 How to tell if you're performing healing—or actually living it 🔥 Why growth doesn’t always feel good (and why that’s not a bad sign) 🔥 The dangers of over-intellectualizing your emotions (and how it keeps you stuck) 🔥 How to stop using labels (like ADHD, trauma, or personality disorders) as cages 🔥 How to use the SHIFT framework (Self, Healing, Innovation, Fortitude, Transformation) to measure real progress—and stay steady when things feel messy This episode isn’t about looking healed. It’s about building a life that feels steady—even when it’s still under construction. 00:01 Welcome to SHIFT Talking: Why this conversation matters 05:55 This week’s theme: Are you really healing—or just performing it? 08:47 Early growth traps: Why progress feels easy at first (and then... doesn't) 13:41 My personal wake-up call: Healing isn’t performative 32:05 What real success looks like—and why it’s never about looking impressive 34:11 Final reminder: Healing is messy, nonlinear, and absolutely worth it This episode is your reminder that you don’t heal by hating yourself into it—and you definitely don’t heal by faking it. You heal by choosing to show up, one messy, real, steady shift at a time. Take Action: Join The Parental SHIFT Book a PREP Call Become a STEADY Friend Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth: TikTok: @asteadyspace Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina Youtube: @shifttalkingwithdavina Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs. Join the Community: Ready to take the next step in your emotional growth journey? Join the Steady Space community for exclusive content, monthly Q&As, and tools to help you stay steady and get your shift together.

31: Own Your Path Without Permission: How I'm Building True Self-Trust

Owning your path isn’t about waiting for a permission slip—it’s about choosing yourself loudly and on purpose. In today’s episode, I’m sharing my own real, raw journey from disillusioned therapist-to-be to proud mental health coach. If you’ve ever felt trapped by other people’s expectations, fear of judgment, or your own self-doubt, this episode will show you how to finally reclaim your direction—and your power. I’ll break down: 🔥 Why waiting for permission keeps you stuck (and how to build true self-trust) 🔥 How owning your career path—even if it looks different—can transform your life 🔥 The hidden dangers of seeking external validation (and how it sabotages your success) 🔥 My personal struggle with the coaching industry ick—and how I finally shifted my mindset 🔥 How to use the SHIFT framework (Self, Healing, Innovation, Fortitude, Transformation) to choose your path with clarity and confidence This episode isn’t about chasing titles or impressing anyone. It’s about rooting yourself so deeply in your purpose that nobody else’s approval gets to define you. 03:01 Shift Talking updates: New posting schedule and what’s changing 05:55 This week’s theme: Owning your path without permission 08:47 My therapy-to-coaching career shift (and the identity crisis it triggered) 13:41 Why the coaching industry made me hesitant—and how I reframed it 24:06 Building self-trust using the SHIFT framework 30:33 Finding fortitude: From "who am I to do this?" to "if not me, who?" 32:05 Choosing impact over perfection: Redefining success on your terms 34:11 Your reminder: You don’t need permission to become who you are. Take Action: Join The Parental SHIFT Book a PREP Call Become a STEADY Friend Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth: TikTok: @asteadyspace Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina Youtube: @shifttalkingwithdavina Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs. Join the Community: Ready to take the next step in your emotional growth journey? Join the Steady Space community for exclusive content, monthly Q&As, and tools to help you stay steady and get your shift together.

30: SHIFT Rx | Boundaries, People Pleasing, and the Manipulation You Didn't Mean to Do

Hey friend—here’s your reminder that boundaries aren’t about keeping people out… they’re about keeping you from disappearing. This SHIFT Rx hits you with the boldest truth most people don’t want to admit: People pleasing is manipulation. Yup. That uncomfortable squirm in your gut? That’s your nervous system realizing that playing nice was never the same as being kind. This episode will shift the way you think about boundaries—from something you set to something you live by. We’re going deeper than surface-level scripts. We’re unpacking the real reason boundaries feel so hard and why they blow up relationships that were never steady to begin with. This is for anyone who’s ever said: “I don’t want to upset them.” “I just want to be a good partner/friend/person.” “Why do I always end up resentful?” Press play. You’ll hear: 🔥 The truth about people pleasing (and why it’s not as noble as you thought) 🔥 Why early relationship “amenability” leads to long-term resentment 🔥 How to tell if your boundary is actually just control in disguise 🔥 The biggest lie we tell ourselves about keeping the peace 🔥 A real-time breakdown of what actual boundaries sound like (and what they don’t) No guilt. No groveling. No more mistaking self-erasure for love. 🩺 This is your SHIFT Rx. Take it with water, truth, and a backbone. 🎧 Listen, breathe, and forward this to the one friend still calling control a boundary. ⚡ Ready to shift? Join the FREE 30-day trial of my Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need. Take Action: Join The Parental SHIFT Book a PREP Call Become a STEADY Friend Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth: TikTok: @asteadyspace Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina Youtube: @shifttalkingwithdavina Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.

29: SHIFT Rx | They’ll Say You’ve Changed—And They’re Right

Hey friend—your prescription for perspective just got filled. SHIFT Rx is your quick-hit dose of behavior change, nervous system know-how, and communication clarity. Think of it like the voice note your most emotionally steady friend would send—the one that reminds you you’re not crazy, you’re just growing. You’ll get straight answers to the messy questions keeping you stuck—minus the sugarcoat and self-help fluff. Each episode is like a voice note I’d send after your “why TF does this feel so lonely?” spiral—calling you in, not out, with a mix of strategy, soul, and lived experience. Not here to make you palatable—here to make you powerful. Let’s get you STEADY AF. In this raw and real episode, I’m answering one of the most uncomfortable truths in growth work: “Why do my friends and family seem to hate that I’m changing?” Short answer? Because your evolution makes their stagnation uncomfortable. Longer answer? Press play. You’ll hear: 🔥 What it really means when someone says “you’ve changed” (hint: mission accomplished) 🔥 How to process the grief of outgrowing old dynamics 🔥 Why guilt is part of it—and why it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong 🔥 The real boundary flex: letting them be uncomfortable while you stay steady 🔥 How to know when it’s time to create distance vs. repair the connection No fluff. No people-pleasing. No pretending this part doesn’t suck. Just the reminder that you are not “too much”—you’re just finally being enough for yourself. 🩺 This is your SHIFT Rx. Take it with water and a boundary. 🎧 Hit play, then forward it to someone who needs permission to keep growing—even if it pisses people off. ⚡ Ready to shift? Join the FREE 30-day trial of my Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need. Take Action: Join The Parental SHIFT Book a PREP Call Become a STEADY Friend Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth: TikTok: @asteadyspace Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina Youtube: @shifttalkingwithdavina Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.

28: SHIFT Rx | Tired of Toxic People? Here's How to Break the Pattern for Good

Hey friend—your prescription for perspective just got filled. SHIFT Rx is your quick-hit dose of behavior change, nervous system know-how, and communication clarity. Think of it like the voice note your most emotionally steady friend would send that you didn’t know you needed. You’ll get straight answers to the messy questions keeping you stuck—minus the sugarcoat and the self-help fluff. Each episode is like a voice note I’d send after your 10 p.m. “why TF do I keep doing this” text—calling you in, not out, with a combo of strategy, science, and mutual respect. Not here to soothe your ego—here to shift your sh*t. Let’s get you STEADY AF. In this spicy little episode, I’m answering one of the most asked (and least answered) questions: “Why do I keep ending up in toxic dynamics?” Short answer? It’s not just them. Long answer? Press play. You’ll hear: 🔥 The hard truth about patterns (and how you contribute to your own suffering) 🔥 Why healing isn’t about 12 years of therapy—it’s about acceptance and action 🔥 The real reason you’re drawn to the same dysfunction on repeat 🔥 How to tell if someone’s solid chocolate or just a hollow shell wrapped in shiny foil (yes, we’re talking Easter bunnies AND people) No sugarcoating. No scripts. No “just love yourself” B.S. Just real talk, practical insight, and the push you didn’t know you needed—from your favorite professional friend who gives a damn. 🩺 This is your SHIFT Rx. Take as needed. 🎧 Hit play, then share with someone who needs to hear it. ⚡ Ready to shift? Join the FREE 30-day trial of my Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need. Take Action: Join The Parental SHIFT Book a PREP Call Become a STEADY Friend Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth: TikTok: @asteadyspace Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina Youtube: @shifttalkingwithdavina Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.

27: No, Your Kid Isn’t 800% Worse for You—Here’s What’s Actually Going On

We’ve all been there: confidently repeating something we thought was true… only to find out later it’s not. This episode? That’s me. Owning it. Because I got got—and it matters. So why not just stay quiet and move on? Because accountability matters—and I’m modeling the SHIFT. In this episode, I’ll walk you through: 🔥 The real reason it’s so hard to admit we’re wrong (and what it does to our nervous system) 🔥 How confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance sneak into our parenting and beliefs 🔥 What I did instead of spiraling into shame—and how you can too 🔥 Why defensiveness kills growth, and how transparency builds credibility 🔥 How to use my SHIFT framework to move through mistakes instead of being paralyzed by them This isn’t just about a mistake. It’s about self-awareness, healing, and becoming the kind of adult we want our kids to model. Because being wrong isn’t the problem. Staying wrong is. ⚡ Ready to shift? Join the FREE 30-day trial of my Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need. Sign up in the show notes! 03:00 Confirmation Bias & How It Hit Me 05:27 The SHIFT Framework in Real Time 07:52 Shame vs. Guilt: Why This Hit So Hard 10:10 Fortitude, Feedback, and Public Growth 12:33 Transparency > Perfection 14:59 How You React When Challenged (And What To Do Differently) Take Action: Join The Parental SHIFT Waitlist Book a PREP Call Become a STEADY Friend Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth: TikTok: @asteadyspace Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina Youtube: @shifttalkingwithdavina Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs. Join the Community: Ready to take the next step in your emotional growth journey? Join the Steady Space community for exclusive content, monthly Q&As, and tools to help you stay steady and get your shift together.

26: Fixing Yourself First: The Parenting SHIFT That Changes Everything

Parenting advice is everywhere, but most of it skips the biggest factor—you. In this episode, we’re flipping the script on traditional parenting strategies and focusing on what really changes the game: your emotional state, your regulation, your healing. If you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and wondering why no tactic seems to work, this is for you. I’ll break down: 🔥 Why parenting isn’t about controlling your kid—it’s about steadying yourself 🔥 The 10-second check-in that will change how you react (and prevent meltdowns—for both of you) 🔥 How unhealed childhood wounds shape your parenting—and how to break the cycle 🔥 Why “just stay calm” is bullsh*t advice* (and what actually works instead) We’re not memorizing scripts. We’re not sugarcoating. This is real parenting for real people—with strategies you can actually use. ⚡ Ready to shift? Join the FREE 30-day trial of my Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need. Sign up in the show notes! 03:00 Shallow Waters of Healing 09:11 The Role of Social Interaction 12:03 Creating Rituals and Habits 18:10 Integrating Wellness into Daily Life 21:07 The Balance of Positivity and Reality 26:49 Navigating Mental Health and Agency 29:46 The Journey of Healing and Growth Take Action: Join The Parental SHIFT Waitlist Book a PREP Call Become a STEADY Friend Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth: TikTok: @asteadyspace Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina Youtube: @shifttalkingwithdavina Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs. Join the Community: Ready to take the next step in your emotional growth journey? Join the Steady Space community for exclusive content, monthly Q&As, and tools to help you stay steady and get your shift together.

25: Forget Breakthroughs—Here’s How to Heal in 10 Minutes a Day with Carl Dietz (Part 2)

Welcome back to Shift Talking! In Part 2 of my conversation with Carl Dietz, we dive into how microdosing healing through small, daily actions can create real, lasting change—without the overwhelm. Carl shares the science behind behavioral microshifts, the power of shallow healing, and how Nubellum’s app is designed to help you find what works for you in under two minutes a day. If you’ve ever struggled to stick with meditation, breathwork, or habit-building, this episode will change the way you think about mental health and self-improvement. 🔹 Didn’t catch Part 1? Listen here! 03:00 Shallow Waters of Healing 09:11 The Role of Social Interaction 12:03 Creating Rituals and Habits 18:10 Integrating Wellness into Daily Life 21:07 The Balance of Positivity and Reality 26:49 Navigating Mental Health and Agency 29:46 The Journey of Healing and Growth Takeaways Our brain filters out the unimportant, which can sometimes be meaningful. The goal of healing is to move from unconsciously unwell to unconsciously well. Shallow waters of healing allow for low-pressure exploration of wellness activities. Novel and quirky social behaviors can stimulate the brain's healing response. Creating rituals from enjoyable activities can lead to lasting habits. Mindfulness practices can be integrated into daily routines easily. Agency in mental health is crucial for personal growth. Take Action: Learn More about Nubellum Book a PREP Call Become a STEADY Friend Join The Parental SHIFT Waitlist Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth: TikTok: @asteadyspace Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina Youtube: @shifttalkingwithdavina Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs. Join the Community: Ready to take the next step in your emotional growth journey? Join the Steady Space community for exclusive content, monthly Q&As, and tools to help you stay steady and get your shift together.

24: The Placebo Effect & Brain Chemistry Hacks with Carl Dietz (Part 1)

Can you really heal your mind and body without medication? In this episode of Shift Talking, I sit down with Carl Dietz, co-founder of Nubellum, to dive into the placebo effect, brain chemistry, and how our minds can trigger real physiological healing—without pharmaceuticals. Carl shares fascinating insights into how the brain naturally produces neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, why some medications work primarily due to belief, and what New Bellum is doing to revolutionize self-directed healing. This is Part 1 of our conversation—stay tuned for Part 2, where we break down their innovative new app and how it aims to help users hack their own biology for better mental health. 00:00 The Quest for Homeostasis in Mental Health 04:40 Introducing Nubellum: A New Approach to Healing 16:58 The Placebo Effect: Unlocking the Brain's Healing Power 27:24 The Role of Gut Health in Mental Well-being 36:02 The Journey to Unconscious Competence in Healing Takeaways Your brain is always seeking homeostasis where everything is balanced just right. Nubellum aims to develop tools that help people control their physiology through consciousness. The placebo effect demonstrates the brain's natural healing response. The journey to healing involves moving from conscious incompetence to unconscious competence. Gut health plays a crucial role in mental well-being and overall health. Self-care practices can be as effective as pharmaceuticals in managing mental health. The brain is capable of generating its own healing responses without external drugs. Take Action: Learn More about Nubellum Book a PREP Call Become a STEADY Friend Join The Parental SHIFT Waitlist Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth: TikTok: @asteadyspace Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina Youtube: @shifttalkingwithdavina Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs. Join the Community: Ready to take the next step in your emotional growth journey? Join the Steady Space community for exclusive content, monthly Q&As, and tools to help you stay steady and get your shift together.

23: What to Do After the Fight: Repairing, Reconnecting, and Getting Real

In this episode, Davina discusses strategies for managing conflict effectively, focusing on recognizing escalation signals, utilizing the power of pauses, and employing grounding techniques. She emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, disarming statements, and setting boundaries during conflicts. The conversation highlights the need for self-awareness and resilience in navigating emotional challenges, ultimately aiming for personal transformation and healthier relationships. 01:01 Understanding Conflict in Relationships 07:07 Barriers to Effective Conflict Resolution 10:04 The Shift Framework for Repairing Relationships 18:12 Repairing Conflict with Children 26:39 Modeling Repair for Emotional Intelligence 38:02 Transforming Conflict into Connection Takeaways Conflict is a natural part of relationships and how we handle it matters. Effective repair can strengthen trust and emotional resilience. Unresolved conflict is a leading cause of divorce and workplace disengagement. Self-awareness is crucial in recognizing our role in conflicts. Taking accountability is essential for effective conflict resolution. Children learn emotional intelligence through observing conflict resolution. Modeling repair helps children develop better relationships as adults. Conflict should be viewed as an opportunity for deeper connection. Consistent and intentional repair fosters stronger relationships. The SHIFT Framework provides actionable steps for repairing relationships. Take Action: Book a PREP Call Become a STEADY Friend Join The Parental SHIFT Waitlist Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth: TikTok: @asteadyspace Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina Youtube: @shifttalkingwithdavina Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs. Join the Community: Ready to take the next step in your emotional growth journey? Join the Steady Space community for exclusive content, monthly Q&As, and tools to help you stay steady and get your shift together.

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