Welcome, one and all, to the weekly roundtable discussion known as Never Better - a programme that, quite simply, will never get any better. This week, Graeme Hershey Marche-Mallow (Spencer), Lord Archibald Simpletton (Craig), and Bartholomew “Batty Bartie, the One-Man Party” Gooms (Michael) discuss the Queen and her platinum jubbly, the world’s oldest failed pub, double polos, gorilla intimidation, and personal space invaders. Also, Michael gets in more trouble at McDonald's than anyone knew was possible.

All three of us forgot this episode was going to come out on Valentine's Day, or we probably would have incorporated it into the itinerary somehow. Oh, well! Don't like it? Call a cop!

-----

Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at  ...