"What am I making this mean?" That question might change how you move through conflict with your partner. Because the real work isn't making your partner wrong…it's getting curious about yourself.

I wanted to talk about what makes relationships tricky and what makes them actually work, and in this episode, I share my own story; how I went from completely collapsing whenever Mike got upset, to finally learning how to hold my centre. How we survived the brutal early parenting years when we were both drowning and how post-traumatic stress cracked me open and forced me to do the real work.

Over many years of working with families, I have learned that you can't make your partner do the work. All you can do is do your own, and trust that something shifts when you stop waiting for them to change and start looking at what's yours to heal. ...