An atheist’s spiritual awakening can look a lot less like peace and a lot more like panic, grief, and everything falling apart first. Becca Metzler shares the five-year journey that took her from a Catholic childhood and 20 years of atheism to a radically new relationship with God, angels, prayer, and healing. What begins with a devastating family tragedy eventually becomes the crack that changes everything. Becca opens up about the fear that shaped her worldview, years on antidepressants, the “midlife crisis” that was actually the beginning of a spiritual awakening, and the near-death experience research that first made her question what she believed was possible. She also shares her experience with ayahuasca, the message she received about the root of her depression, the difficult nervous system crash that followed, and why integration became m ...