When you were very young, your parents had to tell you what to do, and they had to do nearly everything for you. As you grew older, your parents (and other people) expected you to start making some of your own decisions and taking care of yourself in certain ways. You learned to do what you should (will power) and stop yourself from doing what you shouldn't (won't power). You started using self discipline and self control. The more this happened the more you freed your parents, your teachers, and even yourself, because you didn't have to keep making case-by-case decisions about your behavior. You internalized some of these decisions, and they became automatic and habitual.

When you depend on other people to determine your behavior and always be in charge of your "will power" and "won't power," you're like a pawn on a chessboard, waiting for ...