Hot Pocket
Stagione 1
persian thugs
from the ashes
they're mid
secret muslims
incel pickup lines
mirror to the world
hypothetical mothers' day
altercation nation
no confidence
fast slaps
1 di 5
di Saad Mahmood, Shehryar Hussain
~Persian thuuuuuugs, but Contras from Nicaragua~ Protests abound, hijabs burned, shots fired, kabobs unseasoned: A lot's been happening in Iran. Once again, the Hot Pocket lads offer some historical context and advice to chew on. We focus on the history of the BP oil company, formerly known as the Anglo-Persian Oil Company, to explain why the West has always been so interested in this part of the war. All of which becomes painfully relevant for when we look at the CIA-backed coup of Mohammad Mosaddegh and the establishment of the Pahlavi dynasty. Which leads us to this episode's thesis: Not all skinfolk are kinfolk. There's plenty of reasons to support the people of Iran, but there's plenty of Iranians with bad intent. And we close off with a discussion about the hijab and modest wear in general. Skip to 4:30 if you want to jump right into the actual news/history.
And just in time for spooky season. Raise your PSL's, the prodigal sons have returned from their sabbatical. We promised big changes upon our return, and today, I'm happy to announce that none of those have been finalized yet. Good work team. Instead, we're doing a grab-bag of major headlines that we missed: Shout out to the dead queen and all her bootlickers, colored and uncolored (but especially colored). Captain Sabra rears her overpriced, bland face to the MCU, once again proving that Marvel movies gotta go. He fell so we could rise: Andrew Tate had a brief moment in the sun before being yoinked. And a special, secret, dumb guest at the very end......
And so was this photoshop, but I tried my darndesdt. Rejoice for our long anticipated reunion. The Hot Pocket hosts recount their recent travels before hitting the pop culture one-two. We reviewed CLB, now for the oonst-oonst follow up. It's a little catchy? Then Ms. Marvel: One point for representation, minus six points for being incredibly annoying. Watch Ramy instead. Ol' reliable "Dirty Landry" advice segment returns. Why're you mad at my brother when I cheated? Honey, stop looking at those massive jugs, you have a diagnosed problem. We are absolutely firing on some cylinders this time.
A Xinjiang 101 Class. Do yourself a favor, even if you think you know what's happening, listen up. We open with a mood and theme primer. Nairah was just one little girl working in a hospital, how did she dramatically change the outcome of a war? And then for the special: The secret Muslims they don't want us to know about. Here's a lecture and debrief on the Uyghurs. We're covering everything from the East Turkestan separatist movements, the leadership of the World Uyghur Congress, Uyghur culture and labor, and a critical look at the bombshell reports on China's Xinjiang policies. I can't stress this enough: Keep your mind open. This is first and foremost a lesson on responsible media consumption.
With a devilish grin I ask her: "Have you had bofa?" (If she asks what that is, I then say "these nuts". If she knows, I inquire about her favorite cryptocurrency). @incelReplies is doing the lord's work and screenshotting the world's most down bad lads. Dudes who've only manifested being within 2 feet of a woman got the most insane pickup lines and we read through a bunch for some hearty laughs. Also: Elon Musk, the world's greatest incel, is under some heat this week. So we get to take a sledgehammer to his brand. It's all fun and games, but really, the amount of misinformation around this man is kind of impressive. Oh and a world politics update because this is Hot Pocket.
See what you like? Probably shouldn't. Ok doomers. Everything's bad, real bad, let's start with an update on Ukraine. Then we explain how THE RICHEST, MOST BLOATED COUNTRY ON EARTH IS RUNNING OUT OF BABY FORMULA. Corporate America needs to go, we pledge our allegiance to a different national anthem. But wait! Kendrick just dropped a new album. It's real good, but we start talking about the state of rap and the entertainment industry at large as avenues for social change and education. Does the story of Tupac and his family give us any room for hope or guidance? It's rough out there, but ya gotta keep ya head up.
For the coulda, woulda, maybe-shoulda-but-the-right-to-choose-is-most-important mothers and others: We salute thee. The dreaded day is upon us: Roe v Wade is about to be overturned. It's a full on rant this episode. We look at how different groups latch onto the abortion issue, take a bat to the Supreme C0urt's brand, and advocate for change that goes beyond the acceptable channels of voting. Polithicc. All two of us at Hot Pocket are strong advocates of: "Stop sharing, stop tweeting, start spending and researching". No donating or supporting Democrats, try some of these instead. Indigenous Women Rising: https://www.iwrising.org/ Yellowhammer Fund: https://www.yellowhammerfund.org/ Access Reproductive Care Southeast: https://arc-southeast.org/ Mississippi Reproductive Freedom Fund: https://www.msreprofreedomfund.org/ *Please feel free to reach out to us if there's concerns about these any of these organizations, we're well aware that NGO's and non-profits can be dicey.
If you want to skip our ringside commentary jump to the 22 minute mark. Minimal effort or bold experimental episode? You decide. We chill and spill while watching the heavyweight title fight until a sudden KO forces us to shift gears. It gets weird. Hot Pocket weighs in on the Depp v Heard trial, and we explore the gender dynamics of assault and abuse. Speaking of lacking ladies: Saad recounts his many, MANY recent conflicts with annoying white women. God forgives, Saad don't. Finally: the lone wolf stalks the sheep............
I think it's America's turn to elect a celebrated athlete for head of state. Feeling good about OJ. Here comes Number 47, President Juice. Hot Pocket goes to its roots, trouble's brewin' in the motherland. Here's a 101 course on how Imran Khan got in and out of the Prime Minister seat. We make the case that this is a story about foreign meddling. America's unsavory history with the Pakistani military, the secret letter from the state department, and the falling value of the US dollar should raise some eyebrows. And then we kick Benazir Bhutto back down the glass ceiling. Our mantra stands: If you're in America, focus on what America's doing.
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh brothers and sisters. Prepare for brain farts, we're running on fumes. Returning from our week long sabbatical, we catch up on THE news: The Slappening. Is it important? No not really, but we'll get our licks in and make fun of everyone. We proceed to talk about Hot Pocket's first Ramadan: goal setting, worshipping with purpose, and fighting caffeine withdrawals is what we do. And we close things out with two brief articles for our "Dirty Laundry" segment. Roleplaying in the bedroom is cool until........