Filmjitsu! The Podcast that wields films as deadly weapons

Filmjitsu! The Podcast that wields films as deadly weapons

di Jason Santo and Michael Merrigan
Stagione 1
Episode 73: Hot Frosty and Bottom Five Hotties
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On this episode of Filmjitsu, Mike decides he'd like to "extend winter" a little longer by assigning Jay the Netflix holiday rom-com Hot Frosty. A calculated attempt to exploit Jay's well-documented affection for romantic comedies, this weird take on Frosty the Snowman stars Hallmark Channel royalty Lacey Chabert and a magically animated snowman blessed with abs that could cut glass. Is it a surprisingly heartfelt holiday romance, or just another disposable entry in the ever-expanding streaming content machine? The guys dig in during the main review and then afterward, Mike and Jay count down their Bottom Five Hotties, a collection of movie characters whose scorching appeal can't compensate for their terrible behavior or general awfulness. Then it's time once again for Dueling Double Bills, where the guys attempt to build the perfect companion features for wildly different movies and, as usual, wander into unexpected territory along the way. Finally, the eternal cycle of cinematic revenge continues when the next assignment is revealed. So crank up your air conditioning, grab a mug of hot cocoa and join the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons as they contend with more icy-hotness than Mike's used on his forever-ailing back.
Episode 72: Bolero (1984) and Bottom Five Sleazy "Art" Films
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This week on Filmjitsu, Mike is subjected to Bolero, the infamous 1984 erotic drama directed by John Derek and starring his wife, Bo Derek, in what may be the most lavishly photographed vanity project ever unleashed upon unsuspecting audiences.Was this a genuinely misguided attempt at prestige filmmaking, or simply expensive late-night cable fodder pretending to be profound? Mike and Jay attempt to separate the silk scarves from the sleaze during the main review. Afterward, inspired by one of cinema’s purest examples of exploitation masquerading as art, the guys count down their Bottom Five Sleazy Art Films. From self-important erotic dramas to beautifully-shot cinematic skin flicks desperate for legitimacy, these are the movies that mistake tasteful lighting and international locations for substance. Then it’s time once again for Dueling Double Bills, where Mike and Jay take tangentially related movies and create competing double features either fit for the art house or destined for the video store back room. Finally, the cycle of cinematic vengeance continues when Mike reveals what fresh madness Jay will be forced to endure on the next episode.
Episode 71: The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot and Bottom Five Microgenres
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On this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, the guys return from a brief hiatus to tackle one of the strangest high-concept movies of the last decade: The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot. Starring the eternally weathered and deeply mustachioed Sam Elliott, the film answers its wacky title with meditations on aging, government conspiracies, and wartime trauma. Fun! Can a man with a voice aged in bourbon barrels—and enough quiet manliness to make the Marlboro Man—look like a ballerina hold together a movie this ambitiously bizarre? Jay and Mike offer their thoughts, then count down their Bottom Five Microgenres: those hyper-specific cinematic niches that severely test the patience of the co-hosts. Along the way, a few beloved films catch stray bullets, including Ray, Black Beauty, and Freaky Friday. Then it’s time for an unexpectedly combative round of Dueling Double Bills before Jay once again reveals what fresh cinematic suffering Mike will endure on the next episode.
Episode 70: Volcano and Bottom Five Misnamed Movies
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On this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike is sent straight into the molten chaos of Volcano (1997), the disaster of a disaster movie starring Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, and what appears to be a Hell of a lot of molten Velveeta flowing through the streets of Los Angeles. Directed by Mick Jackson, this late-’90s spectacle swaps out an actual volcano for an endless surge of lava, asking audiences to accept city management and seismology as a substitute for action. After Mike’s review, the guys count down their Bottom Five Misnamed Movies, picks that highlight some seriously misleading marketing with titles that just plain don’t match the movie they’re attached to. Then it’s time for Dueling Double Bills, as the guys square off with another pair of loosely connected double features before Mike closes things out by assigning Jay his next cinematic punishment, because on Filmjitsu the cycle of suffering never truly cools.
Episode 69: Roar and Bottom Five Cats
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On this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Jay is forced to endure Roar (1981), the infamous “no animals were harmed” production where, somehow, nearly every human involved absolutely was. Starring Tippi Hedren and directed by Noel Marshall, this real-life experiment in living alongside big cats quickly becomes a chaotic showcase of exactly why that should never be attempted on film or otherwise. After the main review and a heartfelt and unexpected eulogy for a long-passed dear friend, the guys count down their Bottom Five Cats. From domestic nuisances to full-on man-eating nightmares, these are cinema’s least effective, most frustrating, and downright dangerous felines. Then, the show welcomes back Dueling Double Bills, as Mike and Jay once again square off with a pair of loosely connected double features and argue over whose picks actually make sense. Finally, because vengeance is a dish best served immediately, Jay closes the loop by assigning Mike his next punishment, proving once again that on Filmjitsu, the cycle of cinematic suffering never truly ends.
Episode 68: Dueling Double Bills Payback - Tammy and the T-Rex, Howard the Duck & Alien From L.A.
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Justice arrives on this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons. Mike and Jay finally tallied the listener poll results for 2025's Dueling Double Bills series, and because the guys tied during last year’s competition, they were saddled with an appropriately cursed outcome. Jay must face the chaotic animatronic pairing of Tammy and the T-Rex and Howard the Duck, while Mike somehow ends up with Tammy and the T-Rex as well, but this time the Denise Richards–starring B-movie is teamed with the subterranean oddity Alien from L.A., starring Kathy Ireland. That’s right: three movies! One with a crying dinosaur, another with the most irritating voice ever committed to film, and a shocking bit of film-history trivia involving the unlikely origins of Pixar. Along the way, one of your hosts may genuinely begin to lose his sanity and threaten to quit the show. After the reviews, the guys launch into a rapid-fire Bottom Fives lightning round, with each list tailored to the themes of their respective double bills. And finally, because the wheel of cinematic suffering must always keep turning, Mike assigns Jay the next punishment in this never-ending cycle of movie mayhem.
Episode 67: Crash and Bottom Five Stereotypes
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With Oscar season upon us, Mike and Jay revisit one of the most debated Best Picture winners of the modern era: Crash (2004), Paul Haggis’s ensemble drama about race, prejudice, and the tangled moral collisions of Los Angeles. Hailed in 2005 as urgent and important, and dismissed just as quickly in the years since as heavy-handed and self-congratulatory, Crash now lands in a cultural moment where its subject matter isn’t theory or metaphor, but headline news. Did the Academy get it right, or is this prestige cinema that mistakes volume for insight? After the main review, the guys count down their Bottom Five Stereotypes, spotlighting the most tired, reductive character shortcuts Hollywood keeps pulling from the shelf. Then it’s time for a round of Kick Two, Pick Two celebrating the career of Robert Duvall, before the long-awaited reveal of the listener poll results that will determine which Dueling Double Bills Mike and Jay will be forced to endure for the next episode. And the award for white-guy concern teetering on virtue-signaling goes to... Filmjitsu!
Episode 66: Blame it on Rio and Bottom Five Black Sheep
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In one of the stranger twists of fate, Mike slaps Jay with the exact movie Jay had been planning to assign next: the sun-bleached slab of questionable ‘80s excess known as Blame It on Rio. The infamous 1984 comedy stars Michael Caine and was directed by Stanley Donen, yes, the very same Stanley Donen who gave us Singin’ in the Rain. This time, however, decorum is tossed aside in favor of ribald “laughs” and some deeply uncomfortable subject matter. Did Jay recoil at the film’s themes and its eyebrow-raising approach to teen sexuality, or is there some strange middle ground where material like this can be examined without completely torching the conversation? The guys dig into it during the main review, and afterward count down their Bottom Five Black Sheep, misfires from Grade-A filmmakers whose D-list efforts quietly lurk in the shadows of otherwise celebrated careers. The guys next play a heart-felt game of Kick Two, Pick Two honoring Catherine O’Hara, the eccentric and endlessly hilarious star of film and television who passed away in late January. Finally, Jay shifts the blame away from Rio and places it squarely onto Mike, unveiling his next punishment: yet another cinematic misadventure dredged from the bottomless pit this podcast proudly calls home.
Episode 65: As the Gods Will and Bottom Five Dolls
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This week on Filmjitsu, Mike takes on As the Gods Will (2014), Takashi Miike’s candy-colored death-game nightmare where innocent children’s games turn lethally absurd in record time. Equal parts brutal, bizarre, and uncomfortably playful, it’s a film that dares you to keep up as the rules change and the bodies pile up because... reasons? After the main review, the guys unleash their Bottom Five Dolls, spotlighting cinema’s most cursed toys and plastic horrors. From nightmare fuel masquerading as playthings to designs that never should’ve escaped the prop department, this list proves one thing: if it has glassy eyes and a smile, it probably wants to hurt you. Then it’s time for Dueling Double Bills, as the co-hosts weaponize tangentially related films into a pair of competing double features and debate who understood the assignment better. Finally, the cycle of cinematic punishment continues when Mike reveals what fresh hell awaits Jay on the next episode.
Episode 64: The Postman and Bottom Five Jobs
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On this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike bludgeons Jay with a three-hour, brown-toned cudgel of 1997 prestige cinema called The Postman. Another Kevin Costner-as-savior slog, this one delivers its punishment via sheer runtime, self-importance, and, somehow, Tom Petty as the mayor of a post-apocalyptic city. After the main review, pack a lunch and be sure to leave ahead of traffic as the guys discuss their bottom five movie jobs, because somehow there are occupations worse than being a mailman after the end of the world. Then, in a moment of genuine respect amid the carnage, Mike and Jay play a Carl Reiner memorial round of Kick Two, Pick Two, honoring the legendary director behind When Harry Met Sally, The Princess Bride, and countless other comedy classics. Finally, as always, the cycle of movie massacre mayhem continues when Jay reveals what fresh Hell he has waiting for Mike on the next episode!
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