Spring is here, which means the internet has officially decided you're doing everything wrong. Your morning routine is wrong. Your breakfast is wrong. Your skincare is wrong. Your gut is wrong. You should be up at 5am drinking celery juice in a cold shower while journaling about your five-year plan — obviously.

Sara and Eve are here to say: absolutely not.

This week they're deep in the wellness trend spiral — from the 5AM Club and protein coffee to probiotic sodas that cleared the room, supplement cycles that disappear as fast as they trend, the "our ancestors didn't do this" argument (spoiler: our ancestors also died at 35), and why every spring feels like a new contract to overhaul your entire life or else.

They also get into: morning nausea and "safe foods," the diet cycle from Atkins to carnivore to Mediterr ...