Good morning, citizens. Today: scientists abroad have spent years listening to the ground to discover the enormous quantity of warmth that was under it all along. A company abroad is selling a small device that watches you for seven days, learns what is normal for you, and then tells someone when you change — and there is a waiting list. The Recreation League has confirmed its published results once again, and the Ministry of Weather has approved the weekend. And then, because it is Friday, I want to tell you about the first letter I ever wrote. I was seven, and there is a part of that morning I have never told anyone. Everything is already wonderful.

Verity is a satirical fiction podcast. Inspired by real headlines:

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