Am I selfish for choosing not to have children?

“You’ll change your mind.” “You’ll regret it.” “That’s selfish.”

If you’re childfree, chances are you’ve heard at least one of these before.

In this comeback episode of So… What Happens Next?, we’re getting into the uncomfortable question: are we actually selfish for choosing not to have children?

We’re talking about the expectations placed on women to be selfless, nurturing and willing to put their careers, dreams, freedom and desires aside to “do their part” and questioning who decided that motherhood was something women owed to society in the first place.

We’ll unpack the idea of obligation, where the expectation to have children comes from, the fear of regret, what we supposedly owe our families and society, and whether choosing yourself is really the same thing as being selfish.

And because we couldn't possibly leave it there, we're also asking whether men and women are judged differently for making the same choice. Why can a childfree man be a bachelor living his best life, while a childfree woman can suddenly become a spinster who apparently just hasn't “found the right man” yet?

This episode isn't about convincing anyone that being childfree is the right choice.

It's about asking why one choice is treated as the default, while the other requires an explanation.

So… are we selfish?

Let's talk about it.