Some a**hole stole nearly two grand from Mikey’s bank account, which means he’s now willing to drink his wife’s bathwater for $1,000 and apparently sell the leftovers in tiny mason jars.

We also learned that somebody protects their couch with a handmade sex blanket from Mom, a Florida woman can fit 28 bags of fentanyl inside herself, and Stroke may be one bad paycheck away from FeetFinder.

Then Craigslust introduced us to a man searching for a fishing buddy who may occasionally need to fuck his wife, because adult friendships apparently require very specific benefits now.

Clearance Carter watched all of this silently and judged us…which, honestly, somebody needed to.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸

👕Wear our bullshit in public and make strangers question your judgment ...