How To Battle Podcast

How To Battle Podcast

por Carlos Vasquez
Superación personal
Temporada 2

95. How Your Family Shapes Who You Become | CIWIHWMF series

Explícito
Our family is the first place we learn what love feels like. But it's also the first place we learn fear, expectations, beliefs, rules, identity and what we're told life is supposed to look like. So how much of who we become is actually us, and how much was handed to us by the family we were born into? In Episode 95, I sit down with Dan to explore one of the most complicated forces in the human experience: Family. The good, the bad and the ugly. We explore how our earliest experiences with parents and caregivers begin shaping the way we understand ourselves and the world long before we're old enough to question any of it. Dan describes the family as our first “mold” — the environment where we begin learning whether we're safe, whether we're okay, how relationships work, what is expected of us and what we believe is possible. But parents are human too. They carry their own fears, wounds, insecurities, beliefs and inherited patterns, and whether they intend to or not, some of those patterns inevitably become part of the next generation. That raises some uncomfortable questions. Are parents automatically right simply because they're parents? Should children follow the path their parents choose for them? Is rebellion sometimes a healthy part of becoming yourself? Why can family members trigger us more deeply than almost anyone else? How do you set boundaries without completely abandoning the people you love? And do we actually owe our family anything? Dan and I also explore generational trauma, parenting, unconditional love, family hierarchy, the influence of technology and social media on younger generations, blended families and what happens when one person decides to break a pattern that has existed for generations. I also share my own experience of reconnecting with my family after years in the streets and prison, and realizing that loving my family did not mean I couldn't establish boundaries with them. Sometimes those boundaries actually made the relationship stronger. Subscribe and join us for a new conversation every Wednesday. Learn more about Dan Olschwang: https://www.danolschwang.com Join Carlos Vasquez on Substack: https://substack.com/@carlosvasquezofficial We explore questions including: • How much does your family shape who you become? • Are parents automatically right because they're parents? • What does a healthy family actually look like? • What gets passed from one generation to the next? • What is generational trauma? • How do you break patterns that existed before you were born? • Can parents unintentionally pass their own fear onto their children? • Why are children sometimes our greatest teachers? • Should parents allow their children to rebel? • How much freedom should children have to discover their own path? • Why does your family know exactly how to push your buttons? • What is unconditional love between a parent and child? • Does a child's struggle mean the parent failed? • Do we owe our parents or family anything? • Can you love your family and still separate yourself from them? • How do blended and adoptive families fit into the definition of family? • Can healing one person change an entire family system? • Can breaking your own patterns change the generations that come after you? #ConversationsIWishIHadWithMyFather #HowToBattle #CIWIHWMF #Family #GenerationalTrauma #Parenting #FamilyHealing #Boundaries #ChildhoodTrauma #BreakingTheCycle #PersonalGrowth #InnerWork #Healing #SelfDiscovery #Transformation
T2 · E95
8 oct 2026
1:44:26

94. What Is Love, Really? Soulmates, Relationships & Why We Choose Each Other | CIWIHWMF series

Explícito
We say we love our partners. Our children. Our parents. Our friends. But what is love — really? And how much of what we call love was actually taught to us by our childhood, our wounds, our culture and the relationships we experienced growing up? In the this episode of How To Battle, Dan Olschwang and I explore one of the deepest questions I wish I could have asked my father: What is love, and what is the purpose of relationships in our lives? This conversation goes far beyond romance. We talk about how people learn what love means, why two people can experience love completely differently, how childhood wounds affect our ability to give and receive love, why relationships can expose parts of ourselves we cannot see alone, and whether there really is such a thing as a soulmate. Dan shares his perspective that love is something experienced through connection — an exchange that becomes deeper as two people become more open, healed and aligned. That leads us into some uncomfortable questions. Is “self-love” actually love? Do soulmates really exist? How do you know when you have found yours? Should marriage matter, or is commitment what actually matters? Can open relationships reach the same depth as complete commitment to one person? What happens when one person in a relationship keeps growing and the other doesn't? And can the person we love become one of the greatest catalysts for our own healing? I also share parts of my relationship with Shirin, how we met while volunteering with foster children, why I initially resisted the relationship, the connection I couldn't explain, and how healing individually helped us eventually become stronger together. This is Conversations I Wish I Had With My Father — a series built around the questions about life, meaning, relationships, fear, purpose and the human experience that so many of us never had the opportunity to ask. Learn more about Dan Olschwang: https://www.danolschwang.com Join Carlos Vasquez on Substack for weekly reflections on transformation, leadership, purpose and the human experience: https://substack.com/@carlosvasquezofficial #ConversationsIWishIHadWithMyFather #HowToBattle #CIWIHWMF #WhatIsLove #Love #Relationships #Soulmates #HealthyRelationships #Marriage #EmotionalHealing #PersonalGrowth #InnerWork #SelfDiscovery #Healing #Transformation
T2 · E94
30 sept 2026
1:47:26

93. Who Are You, Really? Identity, Fate & Finding Your True Self | CIWIHWMF Series

Explícito
Most of us spend our entire lives answering the question “Who am I?” with labels. Our name. Our job. Our past. Our accomplishments. Our failures. Our beliefs. The roles we play. But what if none of those things are actually who we are? In the second episode of Conversations I Wish I Had With My Father, I sit down with Dan Olschwang to explore one of the deepest questions I wish I could have asked my father: Who am I, really? But before we can answer who we are, Dan proposes an even deeper question: What am I? This conversation moves through identity, consciousness, the soul, conditioning, free choice, fear, fate, destiny, purpose, relationships, love and what it means to actually express who you are beneath everything life has taught you to become. We explore how our families, environments, experiences and pain begin shaping our identities before we are old enough to question them, and how many of us eventually enter adulthood believing those accumulated experiences are simply “who we are.” Dan introduces the difference between fate and destiny: a life being pushed forward by the fears and conditioning of the past versus a life being pulled forward by calling, passion and genuine self-expression. I also reflect on my own life, from the environment that pushed me toward drugs, violence and ultimately prison, to discovering a completely different way of living that now feels less like something pushing me and more like something calling me forward. We explore questions including: • Who are we beneath our labels, roles and experiences? • Are we our body and mind, or something deeper? • How much of our identity is created by our environment? • What is consciousness? • What is the soul? • Do we actually have free choice? • What is the difference between fate and destiny? • Are you being pushed through life by fear or pulled by something you love? • How do you know when you're living on the wrong path? • Can healing help us discover who we actually are? • Is there such a thing as reaching your “highest self”? • Why do some people seem to discover their gifts early in life? • What do you do when you have no idea what your purpose is? • Can the people we love influence our destiny? • Why do we sometimes attract relationships that recreate our pain? • Can love overcome fear? • What does it mean to fully express yourself? This is Conversations I Wish I Had With My Father, a series built around the questions about life, meaning, relationships, fear, purpose and the human experience that so many of us never had the opportunity to ask. If there is a conversation you wish you could have had with your father, leave the question in the comments. It may become a future episode. Subscribe and join us for a new conversation every Wednesday. Learn more about Dan Olschwang: https://www.danolschwang.com Join Carlos Vasquez on Substack for weekly reflections on transformation, leadership, purpose and the human experience: https://substack.com/@carlosvasquezofficial #ConversationsIWishIHadWithMyFather #HowToBattle #CIWIHWMF #WhoAmI #Identity #SelfDiscovery #Consciousness #SelfRealization #Purpose #PersonalGrowth #InnerWork #FateVsDestiny #Healing #Love #Transformation
T2 · E93
23 sept 2026
1:33:45

92. Why Pain Exists & What It’s Trying to Teach You | CIWIHWMF Series

Explícito
Pain can break us. Numb us. Control us. But what if pain is also one of the forces that changes us? In the first episode of our new series Conversations I Wish I Had With My Father, I sit down with Dan Olschwang to explore one of the deepest questions I wish I could have asked my father: Why do we experience pain? This conversation goes far beyond physical pain. We talk about emotional suffering, childhood experiences, addiction and numbing, fear, anxiety, the stories we attach to painful experiences, why people stay trapped in familiar forms of suffering, and whether pain can ultimately become a pathway toward growth, freedom and purpose. Dan also opens up about experiencing anxiety and emotional struggles even while appearing successful on the outside, and how confronting his own pain changed the way he lived, parented and ultimately helped others. We explore questions including: • Why does pain exist? • Is suffering an unavoidable part of being human? • Why can the same experience devastate one person and barely affect another? • What happens when we numb pain instead of facing it? • Can our relationship with pain actually change the experience? • How does unresolved pain influence fear, anger and our reactions? • Why do people stay inside pain that is familiar rather than face the unknown? • Can pain become part of our purpose? This is Conversations I Wish I Had With My Father — a series built around the questions about life, meaning, relationships, fear, purpose and the human experience that so many of us never had the opportunity to ask. If there is a conversation you wish you could have had with your father, leave the question in the comments. It may become a future episode. Subscribe and join us for a new conversation every Wednesday. Learn more about Dan Olschwang: https://www.danolschwang.com Join Carlos Vasquez on Substack for weekly reflections on transformation, leadership, purpose and the human experience: https://substack.com/@carlosvasquezofficial CHAPTERS 00:00 Pain is part of the human experience 01:20 The conversations I wish I had with my father 05:00 What is pain — and why do we experience it? 10:00 Pain as a change agent 15:00 Is suffering unavoidable? 20:00 Why our interpretation changes pain 25:00 Numbing pain: drugs, addiction and avoidance 35:00 Can we transcend pain? 40:00 Separating the signal from our reaction 45:00 Teaching children not to fear discomfort 50:00 Emotional pain, energy and the body 65:00 Dan's story: success, anxiety and healing 75:00 When your pain prepares you to help others 80:00 Pain can become strength — or a prison 85:00 Pain, reaction and free will 90:00 How pain becomes fear, anger and grief 95:00 What is the purpose of pain? 100:00 Why we stay inside familiar pain 105:00 Presence in a distracted world 110:00 Final reflections #Pain #Healing #PersonalGrowth #CIWIHWMF #ConversationsIWishIHadWithMyFather #HowToBattle
T2 · E92
16 sept 2026
1:51:04
Temporada 1

91. From $200 Gate Money to Building a New Life | Carlos Unfiltered

Five years ago, I walked out of prison after serving 17 years. I had $200 in gate money. No real work history. No understanding of the world I was walking back into. And almost everything about my past seemed to tell employers one thing: Don’t take a chance on this guy. In this solo episode I wanted to take you back to those first days of freedom and explain how my life went from starting over with almost nothing to writing books, building businesses, speaking around the country, launching the How To Battle Podcast, and creating work that I genuinely believe I was meant to do. But this episode isn’t really about accomplishments. It’s about what happens when life forces you to make a decision: Are you going to allow your circumstances to define you, or are you going to bet on yourself? My first four job applications were rejected. Not because I couldn’t work. Because of my past. My tattoos. My former gang affiliation. Seventeen years of incarceration. No traditional work experience. And very little formal education that employers recognized. Those rejections became a turning point. Instead of waiting for someone else to give me permission to build a life, I decided to learn how to create one. That led me into entrepreneurship. Then writing. Then speaking. Then podcasting. And eventually into the businesses and projects I’m building today. In this episode, I also share the story behind the How To Battle Podcast and why its roots actually go back to the men I worked with inside prison every Tuesday in the chapel. I saw firsthand what happens when someone finally feels safe enough to tell the truth about their life. Telling your story can heal you. It can teach you. And it can help someone listening realize that they are not alone. That belief became the foundation of How To Battle. And now, as we approach Episode 100, the podcast is evolving again. I also introduce a new series I’ve been developing with my mentor, coach, friend and brother Dan: Conversations I Wish I Had With My Father. My father left when I was young. For years, I carried anger, resentment and bitterness toward him. Eventually, through doing my own healing work, I reached a place where I could sit across from him and ask the questions I had carried with me for most of my life. That experience changed me. And it made me realize how many people are carrying questions they wish they could ask their own fathers. Questions about fear. Love. Death. Resentment. Relationships. Accountability. Authenticity. Purpose. And what it actually means to become a man. This new series is about creating space for those conversations. I’m five years into freedom. And I’m still learning. Still healing. Still building. Still becoming. If you’re starting over, whether you’re coming home from prison, rebuilding after failure, changing careers, healing from your past, or simply realizing that your old life no longer fits you, I hope this episode reminds you that your beginning does not determine your ending. Sometimes the moment nobody wants to give you a chance is the moment you finally learn to give yourself one. Subscribe to the How To Battle Podcast and let me know in the comments: What is one conversation you wish you could have had with your father? #HowToBattle #HowToBattlePodcast #CarlosVasquez #PrisonToPurpose #SecondChances #CarlosUnfiltered
T1 · E91
9 sept 2026
19:45

90. From Silence and Abuse to Becoming a Light for Others

Explícito
For much of her childhood, Kym Chartrand wanted one thing: To be invisible. She grew up inside a volatile home, experienced sexual abuse by her stepfather, watched her mother struggle with alcohol, helped raise her younger brothers, and learned very early that speaking the truth could come with consequences. So she became quiet. She tried not to be noticed. She carried things a child should never have been asked to carry. In this deeply personal episode of the How To Battle Podcast, Kym shares parts of her story publicly for the first time. She talks about the childhood moment when she sensed something was wrong, the betrayal she experienced after disclosing abuse, the day she finally stood up to her stepfather, and how she slowly began discovering a voice that had been buried for years. But the story doesn't end with childhood. Kym also opens up about her younger brother Nicholas, a boy she loved and cared for almost like a son. After a difficult childhood, placement homes, incarceration, and struggles trying to rebuild his life, Nicholas was later killed following a police pursuit. For everyone else, it became a news story. For Kym, it was her brother. His death broke something inside her. She describes the isolation of grieving someone whose life others reduced to labels, headlines, or assumptions, and the pain of realizing that many people never stopped to see the child and human being underneath the story. Eventually, Kym began returning to the thing that had always helped her make sense of the world: Writing. She began writing from other people's perspectives. She wrote about her childhood. She began imagining telling her brother's story alongside her own. She explored grief and death by working as a death doula. And eventually, she made another decision: She wanted to live. She bought a boat, learned how to navigate it, spent time on the water, surrounded herself with nature, and began discovering that healing could also include beauty, adventure, laughter, creativity, and service. Today, Kym wants to use what she has survived to empower girls and young people so that trauma never becomes the final definition of who they are. This conversation is not about defining a person by what happened to them. It is about acknowledging what happened, and then meeting the person who exists on the other side of it. Sometimes healing isn't forgetting your former self. Sometimes healing is introducing that former version of you to the person you've become. Connect with Kym https://www.instagram.com/kymchartrand Connect with Carlos https://www.instagram.com/carlosvasquezofficial Follow How To Battle Podcast https://www.instagram.com/howtobattlepodcast Learn more about Pathway to Purpose Project https://www.instagram.com/pathway2purposeproject #CarlosVasquez#HowToBattle#HowToBattlePodcast#FindingYourVoice #TraumaHealing #Grief
T1 · E90
2 sept 2026
57:52

89. Born in Prison, Homeless by 13, NFL-Bound — Then Everything Changed

Explícito
He was literally born in prison. Before the age of 13, Devonric aka Coach DD, had already experienced severe poverty, physical and emotional abuse, homelessness, gang involvement, and a childhood that forced him to grow up far too quickly. But somewhere inside him was a belief: I will not become a product of my environment. In this episode, Carlos sits down with DD for an extraordinary conversation about resilience, identity, football, loss, mentorship, adoption, brain injury, purpose, fitness, grief, and the people who can completely change the trajectory of a child’s life. At 13, Devonric’s life changed when a friend and his family discovered how he was actually living and gave him a home. From there, he became an exceptional student and athlete, earned a scholarship to SMU, and began attracting attention from NFL teams. Football was more than a game. It was his identity. It was his outlet. It was the future he had visualized for years. Then three concussions in three weeks changed everything. Devonric developed post-concussion syndrome, experienced serious memory problems, lost the photographic memory that had helped make him an exceptional student, and was told that he could no longer play football. His NFL dream was gone. But his life wasn't. ◼️ What it actually means when Devonric says he was “born in prison” ◼️ Growing up with addiction, poverty, abuse, homelessness and gang involvement ◼️ Whether resilience is learned—or something some people are born with ◼️ Refusing to become a product of your environment ◼️ Being taken in by another family at 13 ◼️ The friend who became Devonric’s first hero ◼️ Why one caring adult can completely change a child’s trajectory ◼️ Becoming a standout student and college football player ◼️ Having NFL teams scout him in college ◼️ Three concussions in three weeks ◼️ The diagnosis that ended his football career ◼️ Relearning how to learn ◼️ How acting became part of rebuilding his brain ◼️ Going from college football to modeling around the world ◼️ Moving to Los Angeles and building a career in fitness ◼️ Losing his father and redefining his purpose ◼️ Why Devonric now wants to help as many people as possible ◼️ His TED Talk and the meaning behind H.E.R.O.: Heart, Empowerment, Respect and Opportunity ◼️ What foster and system-impacted children actually need from adults ◼️ Why trust must be earned before a child will open up ◼️ Turning a dream into actionable daily steps ◼️ Why motivation and consistency are not enough ◼️ Living with dignity regardless of where life takes you Devonric https://www.instagram.com/fitbydevonric https://beacons.ai/fitbydevonric Carlos https://www.instagram.com/carlosvasquezofficial https://carlosvasquezofficial.com https://substack.com/@carlosvasquezofficial Thank you Legendary Foods https://www.eatlegendary.com/ #CarlosVasquez #HowToBattle #HowToBattlePodcast #BornInPrison #Resilience #AgainstAllOdds
T1 · E89
26 ago 2026
1:16:29

88. From Prison & Addiction to Filmmaker and Purpose | Alejandro’s Story

Explícito
What happens when you finally achieve the success you spent your entire life chasing and still feel empty? In this episode of the How To Battle Podcast, Carlos sits down with Alejandro Zavala for a raw conversation about prison, addiction, fatherhood, financial success, healing, filmmaking, purpose, and the ability to completely reinvent your life. Alejandro grew up in Central California surrounded by gangs, drugs, limited opportunities, and the belief that the world in front of him was the only world available. That path eventually led to incarceration, addiction, legal battles, and years of trying to survive. But his story did not end there. After confronting his past, Alejandro began deliberately creating new versions of himself. He studied the people he wanted to become, learned how they spoke and operated, entered the legal world, built financial success, became sober, wrote his story, and eventually entered filmmaking. Then something unexpected happened. He got the money. The houses. The cars. The success he had spent years chasing. And he still felt empty. That realization forced him to ask a different question: What actually makes a life meaningful? If this conversation resonates with you, subscribe to the How To Battle Podcast and share it with someone who needs to remember that their past does not have to become their future. 👉 Follow and learn more about Alejandro https://www.instagram.com/officialalejandrozavala https://www.realonesmovement.com https://www.imdb.com/name/nm17500849 👉 Subscribe for weekly insights https://substack.com/@carlosvasquezofficial https://www.instagram.com/carlosvasquezofficial https://carlosvasquezofficial.com Thank you to our sponsors: Legendary Foods https://www.eatlegendary.com/ #PrisonToPurpose #Transformation #SecondChances #CarlosVasquez #HowToBattle #HowToBattlePodcast
T1 · E88
19 ago 2026
1:10:08

87. Why Suffering Can Be a Doorway to Peace | The Power of Presence

Explícito
What if some of the most painful moments of your life are actually doorways into something deeper? In this episode Carlos and Shirin explore presence, suffering, success, inner peace, and a powerful idea inspired by a recent intimate conversation with spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle. The discussion begins with a provocative idea: people who experience profound loss may sometimes gain access to a level of presence that people experiencing constant success never discover. Why? Because success can keep us chasing. The next accomplishment. The next deal. The next relationship. The next milestone. But suffering can bring everything to a sudden stop. Carlos and Shirin share how pain forced each of them inward and ultimately changed the way they experience life. Carlos reflects on finding profound peace while in solitary confinement, while Shirin describes her own journey through years of hidden suffering despite appearing successful on the outside. They also explore meditation, nature, solitude, psychedelics, mindfulness, and practical ways ordinary people can begin experiencing more presence in daily life. The conversation ultimately asks a much bigger question: Are you actually at peace—or have you simply become very successful at distracting yourself? Presence isn't about escaping your life. It's about finally being completely inside it. If this episode resonates with you, subscribe to the How To Battle Podcast and share it with someone who may be going through a difficult season. Sometimes the thing that feels like it is breaking your life apart may ultimately become the doorway to an entirely different way of experiencing it. 👉 Follow Carlos Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carlosvasquezofficial Website: https://carlosvasquezofficial.com 👉 Follow Shirin Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shirinhejaziofficial 👉 Subscribe for weekly insights: https://substack.com/@carlosvasquezofficial 👉 Books by Carlos Vasquez: The PRICE Method: How I Turned Pain into Purpose https://thepricemethodbook.com/ The Leader’s PRICE: Human-Centered Leadership in the Age of AI https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GYXQ1H1F Thank you to our sponsor: Legendary Foods https://www.eatlegendary.com/ #PersonalDevelopment #CarlosVasquez #ShirinHejazi #HowToBattle #CarlosUnfiltered #Presence #InnerPeace #EckhartTolle
T1 · E87
12 ago 2026
32:33

86. The Power of Giving: Why Helping Others Can Transform Your Life

Explícito
What if giving to others could change your life just as much as it changes theirs? In this episode of Carlos Unfiltered, Carlos and Shirin explore the true power of generosity, what it means to give from the heart, how intention changes the impact of what we offer, and why some of life’s greatest returns cannot be measured in money, recognition, or immediate results. They examine the difference between genuine service and giving for approval, reputation, or ego. Is an act of generosity still meaningful if the giver wants recognition? Is it wrong to feel good after helping someone? And should every donation be accepted, regardless of where the money came from? Carlos shares how serving men inside prison ultimately changed the direction of his own life. After leaving solitary confinement, he spent years creating groups, preparing lessons, bringing food, and giving his time without expecting anything in return. Over time, unexpected opportunities appeared, laws changed, educational programs became available, and his sentence was reduced. Shirin shares how giving helped her move beyond external success, anxiety, and emptiness—and how serving foster youth eventually led her to Carlos and became part of the foundation of their relationship. Together, they also share the origin of the Pathway to Purpose Project, their nonprofit created to give underserved, foster, and system-impacted youth access to mentorship, healing experiences, education, and opportunities beyond their immediate environments. In this episode: ◼️ The difference between giving from the heart and giving from the ego ◼️ Why intention matters more than recognition ◼️ Whether generosity is still valuable when someone wants credit ◼️ Why Carlos would refuse certain donations ◼️ How receiving can be just as difficult as giving ◼️ The emotional meaning behind a deeply personal Christmas gift ◼️ How Carlos’ years of service inside prison changed his future ◼️ Why the return on generosity cannot always be measured ◼️ How volunteering transformed Shirin’s life ◼️ Why feeling good after giving is not necessarily selfish ◼️ The origin story of the Pathway to Purpose Project ◼️ Why mentorship and meaningful experiences matter for underserved youth ◼️ How anyone can begin giving—even without money If this episode inspired you, share it with someone who believes in service, generosity, mentorship, or creating opportunities for young people. 👉 Learn more about the Pathway to Purpose Project: Website: https://p2p-project.org Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pathway2purposeproject 👉 Follow Carlos Vasquez: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carlosvasquezofficial Website: https://carlosvasquezofficial.com 👉 Follow Shirin Hejazi: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shirinhejaziofficial 👉 Subscribe for weekly insights: https://substack.com/@carlosvasquezofficial Thank you to our sponsors: Legendary Foods https://www.eatlegendary.com/ #PowerOfGiving #GivingBack #HelpingOthers #HowToBattle #HowToBattlePodcast #CarlosUnfiltered
T1 · E86
5 ago 2026
29:45
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