Conflict becomes harder when two people believe they are fighting against each other.

You think the problem is them.

They think the problem is you.

Every disagreement becomes a contest over who is right, who caused it, and who should change.

But sometimes the conflict becomes easier to solve when you stop making each other the problem.

Give The Conflict A Shared Problem explores how reframing disagreement can turn an argument into a problem two people can work on together.

Instead of:

"You never listen."

Try:

"We keep misunderstanding each other."

Instead of:

"You don't care."

Try:

"We haven't figured out how to make both of our needs work."

Instead of:

"This is your fault."

Ask:

"What keeps producing this result between us?"

The shift matt ...