Temporada 1
Accountability
From Pain to Change
Nothing Matters
The F***its
Perspective
Presence, Consistency, and Self-sabotage
Relationships
Boredom
How do we get through situations that could trigger us? In this session, we start out talking about how to get through pain and surgeries in recovery and find that the solution is similar to the way we get through normal, ongoing life in recovery- with the support of others to keep us accountable. We refer to the tool Accountabilibuddy in CRP's Toolkit Book 2 (p. 31) which is a simple list of five questions to review with a healthy friend on a daily basis in order to stay accountable to various aspects of life in recovery-not just to stay on the right track but also to build consistency that really saves us when shit hits the fan. We've found that the longer we're accountable, not only does it keep us safe from the downhill, justification-ridden road to relapse, but it also helps us to find true freedom in all aspects of our lives and increase our connection to others. Tool Reference: Accountabilibuddy (Toolkit 2)
How does behavior change begin? Do we reach a pain point when everything we've done has stopped working or driven us into a corner? Whether recovering from addiction, trauma, or both- how do we move into a place of willingness to get somewhere different? In this episode, we discuss some of the drivers we've found that jumpstart initial change such as other people and outside sources pointing out our damaging behaviors and realizing that these behaviors are no longer working for us. If we find ourselves in enough pain from the endless cycle, can we trust someone or something else just enough to try something new? Ironically, we've found that letting pain motivate positive change, seeking out and trusting positive people, and practicing new behaviors actually help us to satisfy the core needs we were trying to satisfy all along- feeling valid, loved, and enough. Tool References: Infancy of Addiction (Toolkit 1), Victimized or Victim (Toolkit 1)
Welcome to early recovery- do good things for yourself even though you don't care about yourself yet. How do we navigate this irony? We talk about the issue that arises when we do feel like nothing matters and everything else becomes an option, including destroying our lives again. So how do we act as if we care? Desperation and avoiding negative consequences can certainly help. We also talk about how many recovery paths encourage engaging with supportive people- most of the time, people who have been where we've been will empathize, trust, love and care for us even when we can't. It's so important to feel valued when we've got broken relationships and don't even care for ourselves. We discuss how we often did have values, but we had to park them underground during addiction. We couldn't afford to do the right thing when using came first. These values can come to life in recovery, and we can start to visualize a destination which helps us decide where to go on the roadmap. Luckily, even if we're still rebuilding old relationships, the support we seek in recovery can help us on the road when we doubt ourselves and remind us that we are worth it and so is the journey. Tool References: Nothing Matters (Toolkit 3), Something Matters (Toolkit 3)
It gets real today- sometimes we just say f*** it. Nick talks about how he acted on the f***-its and how he found himself regretting that choice. Why do so many of us get trapped in that early recovery pattern of relapse- the 4- 6 month or so shuffle...get clean, use, get clean, use? We talk about addictive thinking from the viewpoint that nothing is ever "enough"-the reward, the progress, even the feeling of accomplishing goals- and we still have that thinking when we begin recovering... We can get so caught up in "more" that we're left feeling unsatisfied; we may end up digging a hole right before a finish line when things aren't happening as fast as we expect them to. We discuss how perspective and actively seeking out the reward for something that matters to us is so important to avoid the f*** its- the simplicity of exploring the present moment as if it WAS good enough and we ARE good enough to explore it-no matter where we're at in life. Tool Reference: Self-sabotage (Toolkit 1)
Here we go again with this routine shit- that's how we think of recovery sometimes, right? Today, we start out talking about how even though consistency is key to recovery, we often get stuck in the perception that it's mundane as compared to the chaos of addiction. Often our mindset is that the grass is always greener on the other side until we get there. How difficult it is to stick with what is rather than what we think life "should" be! As usual, we question each other to seek out solutions to this problem: We talk about both the benefits we've received from being consistent and what we got from taking healthy risks and pushing the envelope. Afterall, recovery is far from boring if we stick around long enough to find out. Tool References: Escape Plan (Toolkit 1), Clearing Room to Grow (Toolkit 1), Connecting the Dots (Toolkit 1)
Today we explore how to make space to sit with ourselves when addiction is the exact opposite- running from the moment, always looking for something different... We touch on grief and how difficult it is for us to get through those situations and feelings- showing up and being present for hard things seems to be more manageable when we've shown up consistently for our recovery regardless of whether life is going well or not. Grief can reframe our experience to remind us of what is important- being able to show up for others, engaging in relationships and creating lasting experiences. We discuss how important engaging in a recovery program has been for guiding us on how to show up- from making amends to being a consistent part of the recovery community. The muscle of consistency strengthens over time- we can take on more and more challenges...but what happens when we feel like sabotaging it? We look at the different reasons that self-sabotage seems to happen- from fear of success, anxiety, self-doubt- and how refocusing on our values, finding hope in others, and changing our perspective helps us through the uncomfortability. Tool References: Loss (Toolkit 3), Dependability & Consistency (Toolkit 2), Losses and Gains (Toolkit 1)
In this episode, we talk about relationshipping- both navigating new ones and rebuilding current ones during recovery. Elyse starts us out with the issue of codependency- we've found that as addicts, we tend to try to fill some void within- afterall, our life mission is to feel better! We can still do this without a substance by trying to seek out, fix, enable, or find ourselves otherwise drawn to others that have just as many problems as we do. Nick gives us the flip side example- as many of us have also been on the receiving end of codependency- when someone else tries to fix, save, or control us, especially in addiction. We discuss the roles and drivers that we tend to see in all sides of these dynamics- feeling needed and wanted and a means of escaping pain or discomfort. So, how do we accept find acceptance of pain and care for our own needs? Nick puts it simply- self-esteem is built by doing estimable things. Practicing new behaviors usually have the biggest effect on ourselves and everyone around us. Engaging with a recovery program has helped us to get support through the pain while showing us how to act in estimable ways. Tool References: Bermuda Triangle of Enabling (Toolkit 2), Escape the Triangle (Toolkit 2), Counterbalancing the Weights of Our Past (Toolkit 2)
In our first episode of Season 1, we talk about boredom- one of the things we find most difficult to navigate, especially in early recovery. Your humble hosts, Marc and Elyse, are joined by Nick today as we discuss why boredom is difficult, how to address it in recovery and move forward along the path of a life worth living. Some of the issues we've come across when it comes to boredom is how difficult it is to just BE without the constant distraction of addiction- what do we do with all this time and space?! We discuss how to fill this empty space in our lives with new, good things, address our perspective and emotions as we wait for life to improve, and accept reality for what it is- the process of learning to be ok with ourselves. Afterall, if we can get ok with today, tomorrow will take care of itself, right? Tool references: Clearing Room to Grow (Toolkit 1), Addiction to the Lifestyle (Toolkit 3), and Continuous Learner (Toolkit 1)
Welcome to our podcast series Life in Recovery! Have you ever struggled with addiction and wondered how to navigate recovery AND live life? We have too! In this series, we're just a few people in recovery from addiction talking this through- how to apply recovery to our lives one topic at a time. We've found value in the simple discussions of people in recovery with different viewpoints along various points in life. SO our purpose in this series is to provide these perspectives for you here to hopefully inspire or get your mental wheels turning. Your hosts are Marc and Elyse, recovering addicts who created an organization called Choice Recovery Path that provides opportunities for others to find freedom from addiction just as we have. Sometimes our discussions relate to tools that we've made for group discussion based on what we've seen work for so many others in simple (and pretty) worksheet form in our Toolkit Books. If you're interested in utilizing any fresh material or want to learn more, please check out our website @ choicerecoverypath.com or reach out to us to find out how to get involved at marc@choicerecoverypath.com. We LOVE feedback as we know growth comes from hearing about each other's experiences, and we'd love to hear yours!