Melania Trump apparently learned the hard way that once you give your husband your hand, getting it back is a whole negotiation. New reconstructed audio — based on absolutely zero evidence — imagines what was actually going through her head. Meanwhile, she launched a women's business forum standing next to the CEO who just took AMD to a trillion-dollar valuation, said nothing, tossed her microphone behind her back, and left. The universe, once again, has a sense of humor.

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