Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 30: Understanding the Adopted Child 1. Understand that “adoption” may be difficult to speak about Children may not always be sure when and if we can speak about adoption, to whom, when, where and how much is okay to talk about.Some adopted children may not want to talk about adoption in front of anyone else. 2. Make sure that your adopted child knows they are adopted- don’t wait! Tell your child when they are younger and as they get older include more details that are age appropriate 3. Understand that separation and death can be a trigger In some aspects, regardless of the age a child is adopted, they may need a higher amount of reassurance than the average child.Adopted children want to feel secure and safe as well as permanency and focus on “forever.”Adopted children may have abandonment issues, e ...