The Variety Show is back and this episode somehow manages to cover football, children’s TV, floppy disks and fake hazelnuts in the same conversation.

Rob and Tom kick things off by trying to work out why the World Cup feels strangely invisible this year. Where are the flags, the mascots, the wall-to-wall coverage and the endless football hype? Is it just us, or does this tournament feel different?

Things quickly descend into chaos when a seemingly innocent Peppa Pig football story turns into a full-scale investigation into cheating, questionable refereeing decisions and what exactly we’re teaching children about winning and losing.

Then it’s time for one of the strangest things we’ve ever reviewed on the show: a classic Tweenies knife safety special. What starts as a well-meaning children’s safety video rapidly becomes a running ...