This week, we cannonball into the hydration nation of Water Tok, where "water" is just a loose suggestion for what is essentially melted popsicle juice in a tumbler. Health gurus? We’ve got questions.

Then, we tackle mean comments—those spicy little insults that hit harder than they should. Don’t worry, we’re dishing it right back while pretending our feelings are totally not hurt. At all.

Online dating gets its moment, and wow, the bar is so low it’s practically underground. Pro tip: leading with Harvey Weinstein in your opening line? NOT the flex you think it is, Chad. Like, read the room.

We get existential with Mother God—another cult leader who decided they were the divine, despite being more chaotic than a group chat at 2 a.m. Cult leaders, please stop trying to outdo each other in the weirdest ways.

And on TikTok, t ...