Elizabeth is still shaken by Lady Catherine's visit when her father calls her into the library to share something too funny to keep. This episode is the complete audiobook of Chapter 57 of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, in which Mr. Bennet reads aloud the one letter guaranteed to torture his favorite daughter, and never suspects a word of it is true.

Mr. Collins writes to congratulate the family on Jane's engagement and to warn of a greater match rumored to follow: Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. He counsels caution, for Lady Catherine does not look on the match with a friendly eye. Mr. Bennet finds the whole idea exquisite, and shares the joke with the only person in the room unable to laugh at it.

• The letter also revisits Lydia in full Collins style: the Bennets ought to forgive the couple as Christians, but never to admit them in ...