Join Wayne Giles as he guides us through a critical aspect of Step 4 in Alcoholics Anonymous: the practice of releasing shame and taking ownership of our part in past events. Wayne reflects on the common advice from therapists to “lay it down” and move on, yet many of us struggle with how to let go of feelings like shame, guilt, and regret. For years, shame may have been a constant companion, and even today, moments of shame may creep back in. However, the wisdom in the Big Book teaches us how to put those feelings down for good.

In Step 4, the authors of Alcoholics Anonymous encourage us to focus on our own actions and mistakes instead of getting trapped in blame and resentment. “Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes.” By doing this, we shift the focus inward, identifying wher ...